All Comments on 'Sibling Fun'

This story has promise, but, needs someone to redo it because of the spelling mistakes and the wrong uses of words. Please get an editor to look over your story and redo it.

Pot, meet kettle. How about the extra comma in *your* post, oh grammarian? There aren't very many spelling or grammar errors in this story. That is, if you realize that it's not written in American English. It also helps if you realize that Word 2010 really sucks at grammar checking.

Regardless of which "version" of English you are using, there are contextual spelling errors (you're vs. your) and grammar issues. This is why most writers have another set of eyes proofread their stories. Just a suggestion, not something to get upset over. If you do not want comments then disable that option when you upload your story.

Great story. Please write more.

I loved it. More please.

If i had to guess, i would say european with english as a second language. You can rly tell the diffrence between european socity vs american just in general. But to those whining about grammer and spelling... YOUR reading for the wrong reasons :p

Since i dont rly use cells or facebook much, the idea of that pic being auto posted was something i didnt see coming. So nicly done.

This is a loving sister, the kind every boy should have. She likes playing with what her brother's got between his legs. Just listen to the young lady: "I cupped his balls with my free hand and gently squeezed them till he flinched then instantly releasing them again. I slowly kneaded his balls in my hand as my other hand stroked up and down his full shaft as fast as I could." A sister who cups her big brother's balls as she's fisting his fat 9+incher is a joy to any boy. And then her brother unloads his young balls and shoots his creamy sperm all over her, even in her hair. No doubt her big bro's going to stick his big fat cock up her adorable little cunt--too bad he wasn't the one who busted her cherry--and shoot his sperm where it really belongs. No reason for the condoms, though. Do it the natural way and present mom and dad with nice little surprise--a cute little incest grandkid.

Rarely do you see someone writing both a girl and guy so well. I hope you'll write more. You've got great talent. Made me hot as hell.

Really enjoyable read and want to read more!

Let's hope these siblings decide to have some more fun - and let us read about it! Dghter gives no loc so can't figure if Brit or Aussie or ? Should keep to metric: 17 3/4 cms sounds more impressive than 7 inches. She does better at the male POV than most women. More, please.

I liked the story, and the humour was pitched just right. The staccato dialogue delivery was a little difficult to get into at first, but I stuck it out and I found the story fun and rewarding. There's definitely room for more of this story, don't let the Grammar Gestapo get to you, if they're that good, where's their work on this site? keep going, I think this story's leading to bigger and better things, I'd like to see that! You're either a fellow Brit, a Kiwi or an Ocker, either way, your dialogue feels right and in-context, so more power to you!

All comments always welcome.

What grammar mistakes specifically? Few quotes plz, read through it again and nothing is offensively jumping out. Have it re-written? Bit harsh IMO unless I am missing something glaringly obvious.

I am English, European with English as my second language? Seriously?

I will hopefully continue this story, I have tried a few times at re-writing this from the perspective of the brother, but not quite got it to a standard that I would post. Thought it would be something a little different. Same story, diff perspective.

I thought inches were wider accepted, no pun intended. Takes me long enough to remember to call them panties and not knickers, not gotta do lengths as well now have I? :-)

Techinically if it is metric shouldnt it be 17.75cm and not three quarters... :-P

I had to look up "staccato", I do have a very direct story telling technique. It is more like stealing a diary and reading it than reading a story. I assume that is what you mean. Glad you stuck with it, and glad you enjoyed it

Open to any and all comments, good or bad, if bad try to point me directly to what you dont like with quotes if easier.

Thanks

Sorry about the wall of text, formatting went all weird

Is it just me or did they stuck their tongues out a lot?

I thought that the relationship between brother and sister seemed very real, which makes it very hot, too. Nice characters. The Facebook part was less believable but I guess you have to go somewhere with a story. Looking forward to the rest.

that is why readers keep saying USE A GOOD EDITOR BEFORE POSTING. wrong or misspelled words pull the readers out of the story so they can try to figure out what you are saying. if you read any stories here before you should have known better than to post a story with going through a good editor first. find a good editor and delete this story then run it through the editor before reposting.

the whole tongue thing is really distracting. And really over done.

I liked this story, and would like to see this continued with a second chapter.

but agree with most posts,the sticking tounge out not nesseary and makes them childish,

facebook really

must be nice to be a girl seems to me they admit to their friends everything real quick even blowing their brothers

in saying all that, thought it was great for most part and hope next chapter comes ASAP

Great story...

I read both versions. Interesting whether you will give your brother a break as it was an accident and he did not realize it was your phone and my not have know about the "auto update" feature.

Hope you will continue the story line.

Excellent

you write the most awesome stories. Haven' read anything so erotic...

The story needs to have a better dialogue but the theme is great and some of more naughty comments made the story better. I sure hope you do another chapter where Sis has a face to face talk with her brother about rules. Its obvious its a matter of time before she screws his big cock considering she's wanked him and sucked him off and he did cum in her mouth. She wants his big cock and they should use protection unless its not on a day where she could get pregnant. They should not say anything outside of what they do privately and no more facebook posts. Enjoy it and make it work. Please write more, thank you.