All Comments on 'Siblings and Lovers Ch. 01'

A story where incest ISN'T mutual? MADNESS!!!

A good start. Eagerly waiting for the next chapter.

wow plz write more =)

seems way to rushed it was like reading a four chapter book but starting in the middle of chapter two or the begining of three. no back ground to speak of you should have started with them as kids. you need to give the readers a reason to care about your charicters slow down this isn't a race if it was you lost.

This story has tons of potential. I really hope you write the next chapter soon.

This story was fantastic,

I hope there's a next chapter.

Don't rush it, take your time. c:

This is an excellent start! A great description of her attraction for Kyle. Best of all was his very "normal" reaction to Dana's advances. This is a fantasy site, and all too often the siblings just "fall" together no questions asked. Kyle's feeling as if he did something wrong to earn Dana's forbidden attraction was a fantastic touch leaves this open for a lot of possibilities.

For the "Incest" category, this is one of the best love/romance stories I have seen.

Initially, I didn't care much for the dream sequence, but presumed it would fall into the plotline....and it did.

Great story, to date.

Let us see what develops.

I mean your piece pleased as always, but wow it was so authentic! The relationship was likable and even believable. The details weren't over done, yet they were good enough to make me envision everything out as if I was watching it as it happened. Keep the work up! (and don't worry I won't say cunning)

PS

Take into consideration I'm not really a major fan of taboo, but I could easily follow this piece and can't wait wait to read the next chapter, which I'm starting on soon.

The first chapter to this was very good. Set the scene well and opened up a whole world of possibilities. Very nicely done.

I really enjoyed this story. I am excited to see where you take it.

but I'm off to Ch. 02 to see where we are headed

You have a very intoxicating start to these characters lives. You should totally have scoring allowed, as I'm sure it would rate very high. Love the characters and the closeness they share. It's not often a cliff hanger grips me like this one has. I almost didn't want to stop to write this comment, to just skip ahead and start the next chapter. Thanks!

The writing is exquisite, yet the the story is lacking. Neither protagonist feels like a person to me. Their rapport is much discussed but isn't felt. Kyle could have been left out of the story, and it would have changed nothing. I think it's partly due to the lack of dialogues, but either way, it comes out flat, emotionally. The seduction, that stretched over days, should have been elaborated upon, with dialogues and tense scenes, yet there was none of that. Sadly, although it feels like a beautiful melody, it misses the emotional impact I'm sure you were aiming for. Maybe try to rectify in next chapter? Flesh them out? Make them feel like real people? Definitely more dialogues and just more... emotion. Regardless, thank you for taking the time to write it.

Why can't I rate this beautiful story ....?

Consumed with thoughts of how she and her brother were going to implausibly find their way to a porn-esque utopia, in which everyone who wasn't having sex was getting ready to - with a partner, a friend, an enemy, a stranger, a plant, an appliance, what have you, and in which people inexplicably insisted on using crass and juvenile language to describe body parts and the act of physical congress; one in which every man's genitalia was at least half as long as one of his legs - flaccid! - and every woman's breasts each improbably the size of basketballs and capped with four inch nipples the size of corks ; one in which words were as short, feelings as uncomplicated and let's face it, every PERSON as unimaginably stupid and shallow as possible; as she was thinking of all that, she suddenly stopped short with a look of sheer horror on her face. The rumbling in her bowels, the feeling of fast approaching doom, the appearance of that hot brunette wearing tights who always seemed to show up at such times - all could mean only one thing: her Crohn's disease was acting up AGAIN! "Oh, no," she moaned to herself as she felt the approach of healthy wad of rectal chocolate - with no bathroom in sight! "I'll NEVER get to narrow my goals to fucking and grunting! I'll be pooping for the next four days!!!!"

Very interesting the way this has gone, not used to the rejection side of things so is a fresh realisation of events transpiring into the unknown ... excellent 😀