All Comments on 'Silver Moon: A Change Ch. 06B'

i really enjoyed this chapter :) good stuff

I am really enjoying this story. You are a good writer and a good story teller. PLease keep writing and please complete this story.

I see mention of characters as listed in vignette 2 but there isn't that chapter listed. Did I miss it somewhere?

I submitted the silly thing the same time I submitted this one and didn't expect it to take longer to be approved. Hopefully it will be out sometime later today or tomorrow morning at the latest. Grrrr..... :)

KEEP IT COMING.

MSBLING59 I have tried to drop you a message or two in the past and it keeps telling me that you don't accept feedback from anonymous users. If you want to drop me a comment my e-mail is killer_bun_bun@yahoo.com... Yes I am male but based the name on the killer bunny of Antioch from Monty Python's search for the holy grail...

while i like other species i dontet howthecan intrbreed house cas dont mate with lions eagles dont breed wth turkeys. so why have a wolf mate wth a coyote?

Not sure where you got the coyote thing but actually wolves and coyotes can interbreed since they are both dogs. In this case Geoff is a Fox Spirit (kitsune) and go magic and supernatural and as I will mention down the road when a lycan and Kitsune do breed it will be either a wolf or a kitsune and not a hybrid of one or the other.

Interested to see where you're going with this. By giving Mari Dan's cubs, you've created a bond between the two packs, and I'm looking forward to seeing where that leads . . .

Some notes:

I know you have an editor, but check your commas - you need more, appropriately placed. As it is, sentences tend to string on for too long, becoming atonal and dull. Introduce commas to help with the "rhythm" of the reading.

I know you have an editor, because in

"That must save on your clothing bill." (Dan says this?)

"(Dan says this?)" looks like a note from your editor . . .

You seem to be trying to portray Dan as a "real" guy, with faults and self-doubts, but check your work carefully, to make sure you're writing him the same way you're imagining him in your head: In

"Once the door was closed, Dan whirled around and grabbed Geoff's collar and lifted him off the ground. "If you hurt Mari in any way, I will kill you."

Dan comes across as being an out-of-control arsehole, and I don't think that's what you intended. Geoff hadn't done anything to warrant that kind of behaviour.

I like that the secondary characters are being given real personality. Looking forward to the next chapter.

I like that Dan is still grieving the loss of his own family. All too often in stories, characters seem to get over the loss of loved ones within minutes, hours or days, whereas in reality, one can remain in shock - literally - for years. Grieving takes time.

Just so you know just submitted the next chapter and hopefully it will be approved in 3-5 days. Thanks everyone for their feedback.

I know I'm a soft-hearted gal, but this chapter broke me & I was crying with Dan and the pack. I've known since Ch 1 he lost his mate & cubs, but until now I hadn't cried. Then, I had to stop reading because my eyes blurred with tears. I found myself mourning with Dan and the pack. I see this is the beginning of his true healing and his difficult road to recovery. It takes a good writer to make me cry and you've done just that. Well done.

Gah! Two dads! Is Geoff going to be Daddy, or is Dan going to be Father. Which one is going to be the cool dad and which is going to be the mean dad...oh shit biscuits and mustard gravy! Wheeew! This is going to be a tough patch to hoe! You can't take the pups from Mari and give them to Dan...she would be heartbroken and resent Geoff. Geoff can't adopt them because...well...Dan would kill him. So, they get to split custody. 6 months on 6 months off? That will never work because Geoff will be teaching the cubs one thing, then Dan will teach them another after spending a few months unlearning them the stuff Geoff was teaching them and then the cycle starts all over when they go back home to Geoff! They are going to be so confused! Instead of werewolves or werefoxes...they are going to be some weird mishmash of the two. Werewoxes!

Lets look on the brightside though. There is a very big silver lining to this dark cloud. Come Christmas and birthdays...those cubs are going to get a metric ton of presents! They will be swimming in Legos and GI Joes and Barbie dolls! :-)

So, enough of my snark...please don't kill me Max! :-) Uh...Max? You aren't going to kill me are you? Max? Uh Oh....

Sincerely, Payenbrant.