All Comments on 'Silver Moonlight'

i mean you got a great storyline, but i think you shuld find an editor take this story to them and get your grammer checked. great story, just reccommend an editor.

Normally I wouldn't comment when I haven't exactly read a story, but I would love to read yours - if you fix the dreadful spelling errors. You don't even need an editor, just use the spellchecking your writing program of choice already offers. I'll definitely read it when you re-upped it :)

Two paragraphs in and four grammatical errors:

intrudes s/b introduce; marry s/b married; hook s/b hooked and differnts b/b difference.

It has the makings of a really interesting story but if the first two paragraphs have that many errors it will make me insane to read the rest of it - because I will constantly be concentrating on the errors rather than the story.

Find yourself a good editor - you will be happier and so will your readers.

I KNOW MY STORY HAS SPELLING MISTAKES BUT THIS IS THE ROUGH DRAFT SO SORRY I JUST WANTED TO SEE IF MORE PEOPLE WOULD LIKE IT THANK YOU - FROM ICEWIND125

You've got an interesting story line, but I strongly recommend that you get an editor. I lost some interest in reading it rather early due to the large amount of errors. But I did finish it so that I could give feedback. You need editorial help. The reader interest would be there once it's polished up.

Never post a first draft or show it for anything. That is for you to read and edit and check it makes sense. Then get help. Grammar and spelling and tense and even keeping the names and gender of your characters straight doesn't just help your readers out, it makes it possible for them to read your work in the first place.

However, you have bigger problems than spelling, your characters do not make sense. They do not have integrity to themselves, except perhaps James, a little. All the other characters are totally schizoid, menacing one minute, crying the next, climbing into each others laps, having power and being powerless and not able to keep in mind for apparently even one sentence that something is hunting them and capable of fatally wounding them and it is still on the loose. You cannot, tempting as it may seem, pack a short story with a cast of thousands and 1001 story ideas. Build your world, as readers we would be happy to come and spend some time in it and meet the characters you have created for it. Take your time, it is not a rollercoaster to be over and finished in 30 seconds.

This is your first story so you'll get better with practice. Don't let the comments get you down, its good advice being offered. My first story 'howl into the night' was a little like this... rushed, too little background & too much information crammed into one chapter. It wasn't until I hooked up with an awesome editor that my stories began to make sense.

I also know how hard it is to find someone to edit gay male, but if you can find one (by searching under volunteer editors or start a thread in the bulletin board under 'editors' section) who suits your style & personality--well the sky is the limit. I truly believe you could take this story to unfathomable heights & I would love to see where you take it. Best of luck! :)

I am sure you have gotten the message that you need an editor. It was so rough that I had to re-read certain parts to infer what you meant. That said, a good editor could help you and I thought it was interesting enough that I did push through and read it. I think you have interesting characters and an intriguing story. I'd like to see you explain what Gray and the little boy who is the spirit of the metal are a little more. I'd also really like to get more information about the weres and James. How did they meet? How did James know Silver was his mate? Why did Silver run when he heard it? Are the people who spoke of finding an elemental...were they Tammy and Alex? Look forward to more. I hope to see silver speak to James. I take it Silver is something to Mark also? Keep writing and take the time to get a editor. There are many good writers in this category and they are always helping people. Look forward to the next installment.

Cannd

You've got some really good advice and insightful comments! The interest in this story is def there!

HEY TO EVERYONG OUT THERE THIS IS ICEWIND125 OR IW FOR SHORT I'M TYPING THIS TO ALL MY READERS AND TO E-MAILER Destinydrumgold@gmail.com I'M WORKING AS HARD AND FAST AS I CAN I DECIED EVERY FIVE PAGES OR SO I'LL ADD IT TO LIT FOR YOU ALL. AND TO Destinydrumgold@gmail.com MATT OR MATTHEW IS MATED TO TEAS. MARK IS THE LYCAN WHO HAS THE HOTS FOR SILVER. SO WITH LOVE AND GOOD HEALTH TO ALL OF YOU I WORKON GETTING MY WORK DONE. THANK YOU - IW

LOOOOOOOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE update soon!!!!!!!!!!

HEY IT;S ICEWIND125 I HAVE NOT STOP WIRTING (SILVER MOONLIGHT) THE THING IS I HAVE ADD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) AND MY MIND IS A BIT MESS UP SO PLEASE BE PASENT WITH ME ILL HAVE A SOME MORE OUT BY END OF THIS WEEK OR NEXT. PS IM WORKING ON A NOTHER STORY YET TO BE WIRTEN SO....OK BEY

As you can see, you've got lots of great support and comments here :) I would like to say that I think this chapter is a bit broad, as we are bombarded with multiple characters, which you described quite well, and sometimes it is hard to take in or follow up with. Maybe it would be better to cut the length of each individual chapter and focus more on explaining or lettting us know what is happening in more detail. (I think im rambling now...) However, a great, though choppy start, but looking forward to more of your work. :D

It seemed like you had some interesting ideas, but it was hard to follow the action. I had to give up almost half-way through because I didn't get who the characters were, why they were behaving the way they were, or even what they had done. The grammar and spelling made it challenging to understand what was going on, and I got the sense that English was not your native written language.

Like I said, it seems like you are very creative and have some intriguing ideas; you just need to practice writing and find someone (or some people) to help with editing and proofreading. Good luck!

You should really go through this and fix your misspelled words. It kept throwing me off when reading

Your plot is good and you have some great things going but the massive amounts of bad grammar, missed spells make the story plain unreadable.

So my suggestion is just get yourself a editor to clean it up the republish

Ngl the fact that doing basic math the mom of silver would have been FOURTEEN when she had him just... Nah. Dad would have been 20? Whats up with that wtf