by sloanforfun
I really wanted this? Are you sure? It doesn't sound at all like me. I don't think I'm a racist asshole. You obviously are, but why do you keep telling me I am?
Am I in a hospital, suffering from amnesia? I don't remember any of this happening.
Not sure who you went with; but I can guarantee it wasn't me.
You guys think you're having trouble with the choice of writing style. The only reason I'm not that offended is that I'm gay. roflmao
Exactly the same comment from this writer's other story: "One of the many stories that we have to ask: "Who are these two? What is their relationship? Why the second person?" This story could be worst? the answer: NO!! 1*
Grounds for divorce... If you are married.
Or a reason not to marry you if you're not.
I don't see that phrase much on Lit.
I appreciate what you were doing with this story, and I believe this would be a highly-rated story if it were posted in the BDSM category -- and if you hadn't used the second person perspective. Calling the readers "you" is jarring and a real turn-off. I would normally stop reading at the first mention of "you", but I pressed on because your writing is actually very good, and your story is compelling. (Also, the mentions of Red Rooster and SLS tells me you're either legit or you've done your research.)
Keep writing, but not for this crowd. You won't be appreciated here.
You did not succeed. It removes immediacy. Immediacy is really important to erotica.
You're right swingerjoe. This story is not appreciated here. The authors should know better, but yet they still post in loving wives. Figure that one out.
This story was, at times, a bit hard to read because it was so over the top. However, it was over the top in a very truthful way. This woman really was a fuck toy whore to be gangbanged, when she was in that role. It had a certain veracity that made the graphic sexual details and raw emotions necessary to the story-line.
The fact that this was narrated from the woman´s perspective made it even more powerful. It clearly expressed both her excitement and her aversion to what she was doing. Guilt and excitement are like an alternating current and she manifested both. As we read this story my wife identified with this woman´s feelings.
While we have never done anything nearly this extreme, my conservative wife does struggle with the same doubts and feelings when she fucks other men, with my encouragement and support. For example, I have seen her come home from fucking another guy, which she totally enjoyed. But, then she goes directly to the outdoor shower by our pool, strips and showers up. She leaves her sweaty, smelly, cum filled clothing out of doors or immediately washes them. Sometimes she douches and then gargles with mouthwash. I have to make gentle, easy love to her and welcome her back to the marital nest.
My wife could never stop being a hot wife, she loves good cock and good sex. She once had a mini-gangbang of with four of our male friends here at our house. Over the years she has been promiscuous or at times had a steady lover. However, she does bounce between guilt and sexual satisfaction from this life-style. Great story!
Hot story. You're too GOOD for this site...
Read like a form a rape to me. Does not liking to read stories about women being abused, raped, degraded and humiliated make me a narrow uptight inhibited stick in the mud? Think I'll stick with respect, compassion, and mutually satisfying love. God, how boring is that?
I know you don't know. It shows.
If he's to good for this site, maybe he would consider moving on. You might advice him where to go, as long as it's far away from here. We got way to many of his kind already, don't need more. You might consider going with him.
This has to be the worst story ever published in the LW category. She was a slut, not a loving wife and he was a SOB. Also, there was absolutely nothing erotic about this story. Please do us all a favor and never publish another story. 1* and wish I could rate it less.
Not because the style or story was any good; just the opposite. It was pure nigger, bbc loving shit and white cunt stupidity. I want to get your score up from its pathetic depths in order to encourage you to continue to write. That way, you'll enjoy ever increasing derision.
Anther guy pimping his wife out again story, this tale doesn't excite me at all.