All Comments on 'Sister in Heat Ch. 04'

You know I love your writing but this chapter just made me sad for Moni :(

Well as much fun as he had this is a very depressing chapter. And after all this I feel like he betrayed Monica, he was her rock and now he goes and ditches one GF for a mother that treats him like her personal toy. Sure there might be something between him & Steph but he (or rather they) didn't give it time or chance. And then he thing with his father came where I expected for him to get to his sense and be faithful to Monica but no, the same night he drives off for an easy lay with a woman that doesn't even know what to do with him and where to put him in her busy schedule. Maybe he just needs a domina...

Yet based on the last two lines I think he'll come around and be there for his sister, after all it would make sense for them to borne ben more over the fathers death and his mom accepting them as a thing. If not I guess this whole series will be a painful disappointment in the end.

Couldn't give it more than 2* for the apparent reasons.

Your sex scenes are incredible! Well done!

I'm going to give this a 3 it was well written, but seems incomplete. I really hope that there is some resolution in the next chapter. I'm not sure what I hope will happen but I'm looking forward to your next piece.

It was such a great story. From the begining to the end i was enjoying it all. It's a bit depressing how you ended this chapter but besides the sad ending it was an exciting story. Sex scenes were great, you really put a lot of detain in them, really put a lot of images in my head. Will definitely have to read this again sometime, as well as it being a good story, it's good masturbating material ;) wish my sister was like Moni

I gave it a 4 :)

I have to say that I loved this story from the start but am having mixed feelings at the end. Johnnie and Monie are the perfect couple and I was kind of hoping they would end up raising their own family somewhere. You can tell a good story and I hope there are many chapters to come, I just hope that Monica is in them. This has all the makings of my favorite story here, keep up the good work.

I quite the twists and turns so far.

I'm hoping the next chapter lives up to what I've read so far.

Please don't keep us waiting too long for chapter 5 !

Loving the story, a lot of depth to the main character. Can't wait for the next chapter, if this was a book of buy it!

Wonderful story, enjoyed immensely, please continue writing, you have great talent!!

While I've enjoyed the story so far, you teased what was to come, then failed to deliver. Chapter 3 ended with "...it went wrong all over the place." Chapter 4 started with "This is how it happened." I was expecting things to blow up, yet nothing much happened in this chapter, other than the father getting sick and dying. Even the sexual and relationship aspects were tepid.

It's not that this is bad in the overall scope of the story, it's just that this chapter turned out to be more filler than meat. More interlude, than the action we were led to expect with the opening line.

At this point, I'm still interested in finding out how this all works out in the end, but if things don't blow up and really start rolling in the next chapter, as promised, I may just move on to another story.

he turned into a second class shit head the way he did his sister.

Not exactly what I would have expected, but a wonderful example of the confusion life can bring us. 'Pulling me deeper into the story of John's life, if not Steph's or Moni's. This could go on for awhile. And why not?

...although him finally nabbing Stephanie while really wanting Monica is confusing. It's like a soap opera where the guy getting all the tail can't decide and hops in any bed. Please make him make up his mind. Still a 5 with the nice retrospective on Stephanie...but it's starting to grind (not in a good way).

Fucking hell dude... The melancholy in that ending... Its fucking great. I hate it so much but it's so good. Great writing.

His comments were pretty well spot on for me. You started this story on a 5 star rating but it's going downhill fast. For me this chapter was very disappointing , a lucky 3 stars

Without reading the finish, I have one comment or maybe two...Stephanie as a true love EXCLUSIVE WILL Cheat on you to get what she wants even though she loves only you...is that OK? Maybe for an incestuous man whore, but NEVER for me, just saying...

Realistic but not crude. Graphic but pleasingly so. A fun read...

Why is it always the sister asking him and reminding him of what they have? I feel like she's always begging, and that ain't cute

The splendid and excellent quality of the craft of your writing continues to be shown, more and more in each story. They are also incredibly hot! WOW!

this story as been awesome but he must choose beyween thwm

It's hard to recognize these characters as the same ones from Ch. 01

but I really don't like Stephanie. I'm hoping you're just using her as a comparison to highlight what a great girl he's actually got in his sister. She is a manipulative bitch, and probably has all kinds of issues. The type that will ruin your life if you ever cross her even a little.

The ending to this chapter was a sledgehammer to the gut ..and heart...I’m not a huge fan of Stephanie but given the opposite family life she was exposed to, it doesn’t surprise me she feels the path she chose is the only one available and to get anywhere she has to be a manipulative judgmental bitch but I think his warm honest personality is melting her icy exterior and just maybe she has an open mind to learn that his heart belongs to Moni but has room for her and either Steph accepts it and become part of their unique triangle or get lost. She is young and fit but time makes those legs succumb to gravity as well as the rest of her plus she does not seem like the warm person that Moni is. She also does not know him as well. The loss of their father is undoubtedly going to bring them closer together and maybe even realize (him at least) that life is truly short , find people that love you as much as Moni does and never leave them. I think she figured that out long ago. Hopefully he takes over for dad and finally gets his own place where Moni can move in. If Steph has issues , use the door the same way she uses his cock but this time , do not return.

Great writing - my favorite kind of erotica is one that is based more on “real life” than cookie cutter fuck and suck porn. Particularly when the characters are so well written the reader bonds with them on an emotional level too. Lots of readers are likely to feel a kinship here with the devastating loss of a loved one.

I did.

Well done!

Ray

Footlovin69 @yahoo.com

Some commenters are trying to take the story where it's the author's job to take it. Some are getting all serious about motives and whose gonna get hurt. He's got 2 hot babes who want him (each for their own reasons), so let him enjoy them while we enjoy a well told story. Even this chapter had me chuckling inside. This is erotic Literotica not serious Ann Landers.

Paul in Oklahoma

Judging by some comments, people are blurring fiction with real life. This isn't real people, its a story.

So for heavens sake lighten up on the comments !

I love the conversation he had with his dad and how he wisely chose not to give the man another heart attack then and there by telling him who one of his girls was. It's nice to see some hint that they do care for their parents. I totally understand his thing with Stephanie, and I like how he's so confused and busy and in the moment that he's just gonna let it all happen. That feels like realism. I like his tenacity and his honesty. It seems much more mature than a conniving, lying kid. Sexier. Well done!

I must be going against the grain here, but I do like Steph. I'm not sure they would work well enough to marry but then again their chemistry is pretty good, and pretty damn hilarious too. Of course there's no way of predicting how she'd react to finding out he's banging/a little in love with his sister but that isn't really something predictable anyway :p it's good to see that slightly wierd area of incest be a running thing rather than the usual love story between childhood friends which is what a lot end up as.

Damn I love how real this feels, always the mark of a good story

Well written and very real.

So far you have done very well. I can’t tell how many multiple chapter stories I have stopped reading because it was obvious tragedy , hurt etc were just around the next page. I read one story about siblings, their mom was in a failing marriage, her second, and mom saw them doing it. It got really ugly, all because of genuine love, not merely lust and a hateful mom who didn’t know shit about it. I was pissed off for a week! I never did read most of the chapters after that. Shit man, I think most everyone here is here for some escape time. To get away from whatever, read about brother and sister really into each other, and to put a smile on our face. I know that’s what Old Al is here for! And, this story is quite unique, in that it is progressing down the road from still living at home and , you both have a fuck buddy you’ve known all your life.

And you are m so far, doing a. Bng up job of it! Okay, maybe it’s not The Sun Also Rises, but it really does show you have talent that goes beyond describing screwing 54 different ways . 😀

Absolutely fucking hot hot hot. Cunt crazed fucker UK.

Instead of writing these so called chapters just write a story and post it. If I had seen that this was an ongoing snippet story I would have gone on to a real story. Your story line is good, but serving it up piecemeal is boring.

If this continues on in snippets the ratings go down.

Anony Mous

Ugh. Why’d Stephanie have to even be written about in a HEA plot line.

I was with this story until Stephanie and Pam showed up.

This entire story started out good and went south in a very bad, unoriginal way. Disappointed with the plot and character development. Eye rollingly bad.

An odd writing style. Not bad necessarily, just different from what i typically like. The flow is different. I do know that i don't like Stephanie's appearance. And, therefore and logically, am pulling for a commitment by Johnny to Monica seeing as i am here for the Incest. Btw, Monica and Johnny shared a sweet, tender, loving moment here and that was much enjoyed. I have not rated either chapter(page?). If i don't feel i can give a 5, i don't rate at all because i don't want to possibly cause the overall rating to go down. I personally don't feel it is fair to the author and her/his efforts to provide us with entertainment.-dave

5 star all the way on to chapter 5

Story gets better and better. Still can't decide where it's going, tragedy or happy ending? The mark of a good story is to keep the readers guessing. Well done.

He was bound to find get a gf but do we really need it?

It is gearing up to be a tragic tale for the family, will the girlfriend suspect the sister. Will the sister say the wrong , or right thing to the girlfriend .

Totally love this series, you rock.