All Comments on 'Sister Sarah Ch. 03'

Your stories are good but should be longer.

Hey, Fire. Great chapter. I was wondering if you could write longer chapters?

To use your eyes is to "peek" not "peak"; proceed "further" as in continue rather than "farther" which is only used for distance. Good writing!

Sorry but your stories are riddled with errors - not spelling errors since they've been cleared up by your spellchecker but wrong spellings so that the words have different meanings. And there are some grammatical errors too.

In this Chapter alone:

"...our talk gradually became flirtatious, then to sexual, and finally to fantasy." That sentence is terrible English - the first 'to' is superfluous...'and finally turned to fantasy.'

"What you do to my body that you haven't done already?" - The word 'would' is missing.

"I took a peak" - should have been peek.

"...literally squirt there big bursts of precum" - I guess you meant 'three' not there.

"I rubber her clit" - should have been rubbed.

A shame about the errors that occur in all three of these stories because the idea is fine and the tale well enough crafted but the lack of an editor or lack of a thorough read-through (or both) rather spoils the whole thing for me.

PISSING IN HER ASS RATES A ONE.

TO gross and kinky for me.

...I like it! First brother/sister, then public sex, and now pissing while fucking her ass, that just takes the cake!

THIS SORDID TASK, EVEN THOUGH NOT OF MY LIKING, DOES SHOW THE READER THAT THIS COUPLE IS STILL LEARNING EACH OTHERS BOUNDRIES. IT FITS NICELY INTO THE STORY. I LOVE THE LITTLE SEX GAMES PLAYED AT WORK AND FOUND THAT EXTREMELY EROTIC .

It might be for others, but I don't get pissing while fucking her in the ass.

this seemed like a good story at first but pissing in her butt was just too much, never been a big fan of anal to begin with as sticking my cock in shit is in no way a turn on for me so this falls into the same category

The piss is not for me thou lol

Kinky, I question how he peed with a raging hardon

The first story was good if you can over look the grammar and punctuation. But as I read, the stories get gradually worse. The Author needs to spell check or get an Editor.