All Comments on 'Sisters at Play'

Loved the idea of two sisters "trapped" in a situation where they played strangers acting in a play as lovers. The building tension was great. The only thing that could have really been improved on (in my opinion) is expanding the detailed physical interaction taking place during the play. If a sequel is written perhaps dropping the "simulated" half of the simulated sex scenes would be possible. And perhaps a real threat of exposure as sisters to the public.

I really enjoyed the story and like one of the other commenters think that if you do a sequel (and I think the characters could carry one) there definitely should be an exposure threat of some sort. Thanks for the story.

 A creatively risqué & fresh tale that flowed rather well between the 2 sisters in a original scenario. The erotic story line and intrigue has the reader enticed and craving more! It had parts of this reader giving a standing ovation. Best yet, the character descriptions throughout the story brings life to the characters & keeps them fresh in the readers mind. I am on the edge of my seat awaiting g the next chapter! Many thanks for the wonderful words in this very original tale! The few boo boo errors are way tolerable with the well told tale!

Loads of lustful admiration to the author,

I did enjoy this story. I could believe it could occur as written. One thing it made me feel as almost a female and drawn into what could be. You have a skill that I wish I had in writting! Please continue with your erotic skills and explore more in the future.

I liked the mental seduction almost as much as the physical one. I first became a real fan of your stories with your Never Have I Ever submission. I'd love to see a third chapter there, either to continue the story line or wrap up what you've begun. Looking forward to whatever you tackle next.

At first I saw 5 pages and almost did not read it. Once I started it turned into a page burner. I could not stop. Great story is all I can say. Keep it up.

I've seen this idea in this genre before but the author took it to a new level. The New York setting & backstage setting gave this story a decided edge. One commenter had trepedations about the story being 5 pages, my complaint is that this wasn't ten or more.

I greedily wanted more Big Apple snapshots, more insider backstage machinations, perhaps on the order of ' All About Eve'. Little sister might have Bren a schemer like Anne Baxter. This was a very good read,but there was Hall of Fame potential that was left on the table.

This author excells at injecting shopworn concepts with fresh verve & spin. Bravo ! But with further refinement of their talent and a sympathethetic editor, the best could be yet to come.

I never commented on a story in the 5 years of reading them on this website, but I had to give the author a big thumbs up for this great read. Such a fantastic story with all of the sexual tension going on between the two ladies. Love the payoff at the end too, so delicious! Keep it up, I'll be watching for your name in the future.

a very sexy story, kept my interest mmmm

Well done!! Well told story!! Great heat in the development of the relationship, with just the right amount of tension and release. The plot works perfectly with the content, and the ending feels as inevitable as it is satisfying. I applaud you.

positively brilliant writing I for one was unable to tear myself away for even a moment...

Have you thought of going into mainstream writing?

Sincerely: Twink

One of the best! I'm still moist after reading it a second time.

Spelling, tense, grammatical, structural and flow errors detract from the impact of the story by making it feel less real. It's sort of like writing the world's best story with bad penmanship and in crayon. The characters, plot and everything else can be there but the fact that the reader will have to decipher what it is you're trying to communicate will distract from the message of the story.

Errors aside, the only other problem I have with this story is there is too much "tell" and not enough "show." What I mean by that is you rely too heavily on narration. Rather than "showing" us what the character is thinking or feeling with its dialog and dialog tags, you tell us what they're feeling so there's no room for imagination or interpretation.

Tell example: Sally was nervous because her sister wanted to touch her in an unsisterly way. Sally's discomfort increased as Nancy closed the distance between them.

Show example: "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Nancy whispered tentatively as Sally closed the distance between them.

"Yes, it's the only way we'll ever be able to do this in front of a crowd," Sally stated more confidently than she felt as she placed her hand on Nancy's bare shoulder.

In addition to giving the imagination more room to roam, showing also gives your readers insight into who the characters are and why they do the things they do. Dialog isn't the only place you can do show (introspection/monologue is also an excellent place) but it's the most powerful.

By this point you're probably thinking to yourself: "It's just porn, so what?" Well, consider this: The more emotionally invested we become in your characters, the more anticipation we'll have for their climatic climax. We'll (the readers) not only want the sex-scene for our own satisfaction but also for the satisfaction of your characters too. Seeing them happy will make us happy and I don't know about you but I always like my sex (or masturbation) with a sprinkling of strong emotion. Happy, sad, angry, frustration, confusion, satisfaction, relief - it doesn't matter which one(s). To be alive is to feel.

All in all, it wasn't a bad story. The plot was improbable but not impossible, your leading lady's emotional state was close to what I would imagine it to be and the pacing of the story was extremely good. There was a definite beginning, middle, climax and end (extremely important, not always accomplished).

5/5

The writing was good, but there were some words that were wrong. You already stated you didn't care about that sort of error. The story didn't grow on me, or demand my attention. It didn't float my boat as much as others found.

RS

That was an amazing piece of erotic literature. This is the first time I have ever commented, and let me say, kudos to you. I usually am not big on lesbian scenes, and prefer guy on girl, but you changed that for me. Just, keep up the work. You deserved this comment, so thanks for the story! I really enjoyed it! :) Happy fapping!

Thanks a lot for an intense read and a story that certainly stands out among the many flat and boring texts out there that confuse genital action with eroticism. I thoroughly enjoyed the slow, carefully crafted evolution of the characters, the particularly kinky and extravagant idea behind the story line, and the intense erotic tension created by the story's very special setting. The heroines don't just get to fuck each other, they develop and mature in their interaction, they learn something important and new about themselves and each other. Admittedly, the story has small weaknesses like the younger sister's too-good-to-be-true innocence and beauty or some somewhat improbable turns of the plot but the author's knowing, careful, psychologically convincing, original and so very sexy way of steering the sisters into their involvement with each other deserves high praise and more than makes up for minor literary faults. Thank you again for a really nice experience :)

Hi

This is just to say how much I enjoyed your fabulous story. It was romantic as well as deliciously sexy. Wonderful xxxx

I love your stories, and this was just HOOOT!!!!!

I loved this story. It's so exceptional in many ways - the concept is fresh and seems plausible, the initial setup especially feels very realistic. It's definitely one of the more believable stories here.

The grammatical errors were pulling me out of the action a bit. I'd also love if their relationship was a bit more developed and as was already said, if you expressed their characters through direct dialogue, rather than narration. But it's still an amazing and exciting story. Thumbs up!

Perfect story, likable characters, and incredibly hot!

encore: the sisters take their new found skills onto the stage!

I'm a little surprised i liked this, but overall very good story.

It was good, but you should never rush your story. By that I mean you should take the extra time needed to polish the grammar and the spelling. When I see misspelled words, especially when the word is supposed to be "her" but is shown as "he". That is a bit distracting. Just take more time to get it right. Besides the only deadline your on with this type of writing, is your deadline. There are plenty of other stories to keep people occupied while you polish yours.

You wrote, "Besides the only deadline your on with this type of writing, is your deadline"

You made a grammar error and wrote "your" instead of "you're". Learn some English.

To the author, you should delete both of these comments, mine and his.

I love your work, your writing is amazing and you really spend your time developing the characters which I think is most imprtant. I think it would be cool if you wrote a story about Shae (from you other lesbian story) and the new girl from across the street and how the become 'friends' with her :) I would love that!

I appreciate your work. You obviously have a writing talent, a highly skilled approach. Further you have made a sweet, if somewhat implausible story, work and work well. Despite your discounted comments about a single edit it's clear you have the ability and experience - at minimum - the demonstrated capacity to think through a plot line and bring to life in a substantial way, an erotic scenario. This is the first of your works I've read. I look forward to the rest of your collection. If I sound a little flat it's that my personal taste runs just a little naughtier when it comes to porn. This story is told in a realistic manner. I suspect it could have as easily been told with a little more rawness or comedy but that would have been more my style than yours if you're satisfied with the result. I'd like to make a more specific comment but for the moment I'll wait until I've read more of your pieces. Thank you for writing. It is an undertaking that deserves gratitude.

I really enjoyed the building erotic tension between the sisters - the hesitation, the doubts, being worried about misreading signals and that their passion is all very much taboo. And when the dam finally burst... magic! Well done. :)

Unlike some of the other comments. I felt drawn into the story and the characters. I did feel the hesitation and eventual giving in of the feelings between the two sisters. I overlook spelling and grammar errors as long as it is a compelling story, which I felt it was. Carry on the great writing!

I don't usually like longer setups, but your storytelling has been so enthralling that it seemed perfect. The pace of the tension's build up was gripping, every step of the way. Thanks for sharing the sisters with us!

My kind of pervert, all the way around. Maybe this will make me brave enough to tackle some more of your tranny stories...

A brilliant piece, it read just like great sex. Glorious and complex characters building up so much tension, finally leading to fireworks. Top ten on the site!

I enjoyed the so close yet so far away hook. My sexual arousal remainex throhgh the whole story. Yet i. Somehow kept reading and precum periodicallly . i even wrote this before i have masterbathed which i am going to do after signing off this comment. befreeinone@gmail.com me anything new you do i like yoyr kinky imagination. thank you

It's a small detail, but I love that in three separate instances you placed the sisters' focus on their assholes, as opposed to their pussies. The first time was when the baby sister was simulating going down on her older sister during the live show, and her ass was facing the crowd. You didn't say the crowd could see her pussy, which, clearly, they could at that point. No, you said they could see her asshole. Next, when the older sister was giving her monologue while her sister was simulating eating her from behind, she noticed her sister's breath on her asshole, not her pussy. Then, when baby sister goes down on her sister for real back at the apartment, she comes right out and states that the thing she wants to do is rim her sister, which she proceeds to do.

I enjoyed the rest of the story as well, but this one small quirk of narration is what really stuck out for me. More than anything else, it's what I will remember. Very intriguing.

Otherwise, this was a unique spin on a familiar plot, and you did a great job with it. Of course I'm a bit biased towards the live theater theme, what with my "Deceptions" story, but yours was a cut above so many others I've read.

Enjoyed it very much! Thanks for sharing.

Any way you look at this story, it exceeds expectations. The back story of pulling a play together, the building of the characters, the ramping up of the sexual tension, the spot-on dialogue, all were superb. The love and the heat between the sisters is strong, credible and so satisfying. This has to be in the top 1% of all the stories I've read on Literotica. You have a wonderful talent and I thank you for sharing it with us.

I REALLY got into this one. Sooooo much chemistry between the chars. The first kiss they shared got me sooooooo turned on. Bravo. 5 stars.

It was mainly hot because the situation of them doing sexual things like that outside of consented sex. Soooooooooo hot

Loved this! Perfect buildup, character development, and I do some acting myself so that aspect really spoke to me. This is now one of my top 5 fave stories here on lit. Bravo!

This is story has such an amazing sexual build up its so good with there were more stories like this one out there. Would love there to be a sequel it's that good. You did a good job with this one and all of ur other stories love them.

This was so much better than I was expecting. I've read lots of erotic stories, and this was the best. The characters were so well developed and the story was overall amazing. I loved the entire thing. Most stories of this type I quit reading before the end because they're not well written or something, but this I couldn't stop reading until the very end. Great job.

A super hot story that is so naughty and erotic. The pay off at the end was pure dynamite. I would love to see a sequel where the two sisters explore their new relationship, finding new ways to drive each other crazy with lust, as they try to continue with their acting careers and make the most of their incredible sexual chemistry together.

Thank you for the great story. Hope you can find a way to continue the characters.

Hot as anything and very convincingly written, great details - and non-details, such as skipping the non-essential dialogue/scenes/plot elements of the play.

Loved the pace and descriptions, all around one helluva hot, sexy story!

Jason

This is I ne of the best stories I've read. The other one being Scarlett's Challenge. Keep up the good work.

I honestly don't know why I waited as long as I did to read this. Every story I ever read by you has been amazing. I had to keep putting it down because i was getting too wound up. Keep being awesome.

Hey ykn4949, i really liked all your stories, and i'd read 90% of them already, pls make more of that t-girl stories, it's so awesome, thanks very much, i liked it.

I liked this story too, i read all of your t girl stories already, i like the onew woth the inheritance part but it lacks sex parts too, this story is good but i dont think it deserves a sequel, it might ruin the awesomeness, that's all thanks

Great story. I would have wanted them having sex together a little sooner...a little long when you know what's gonna happen. Absolutely love how you put them together at same place and time and had them playing the roles they were playing

The build up and tension that was created between them was excellent. Most people would ruin the story by having the girls jump the gun too soon or be too comfortable with committing incest but the story had just the right length.

I just reread this deliscously creative storyline that again drew this reader in quickly with its clever buildup and engaging characters. It is one of those wonderful tales that entices the reader into craving more with its detailed development that flows oh so well! Many thanks to this author for sharing their talent with us!

Great story....loved it!.....the passionate kissing....the licking and loving of the ass.....love your writing.....keep writing!

The sex and buildup was pretty well written, though the final sexscene could have been a tad longer and more descriptive

What really strained my SoD was exactly how explicit the theatre production was, especially how the sisters flashed their pussies in the final scene, which was more than just a little gratuitous, and the way it was described felt more like they were putting on a show in a sleazy strip club rather than on a theatre scene.

EXCELLENT BUILD UP...VERY EROTIC. FIVE STARS!

Fucking hot

This story was effing HOTTTT and deserves to go forward with more! These sisters have demonstrated/are demonstrating great acting skills enhanced by their true feeling and that they are not really acting and could go far.

Humans aren't perfect, and if you keep pushing on those psychological barriers long and hard enough, they break down, or even get inverted, as happened here.

The women had no other option but to become lesbian lovers. On stage, as well as backstage. A perfect storm of acting education, talent and sisterly love and care allowed them to actually reach that goal. So their sisterly relationship was both a curse, but also a blessing. After all, chemistry goes a long way.

Slowly and gradually, they put themselves into unnatural situations, again and again, pushing boundaries each time. Eventually, their bodies reacted instinctively and beautifully to each other.

Seriously though, I'd have preferred if their arousal and desire for each other came more gradually, rather than with the very first kiss (which was well done otherwise). It would feel more realistic if that came later on with the developing feelings.

Great story. Will there be a sequel?t

You should add another chapter of the opening night when they do away with the foam cone in the bed and just go at each other for real. The audience reaction and that of the theatre crew should be something else !

That I would love to read !

Well worth 5 Stars.

Rapier

This was an excellent, extremely well written piece of erotica. The focus on the emotional aspects of the relationship was touching; truly a really good love story.

This was indeed a great build up. All the uncertainties really made the story extremely erotic. This is definitely one of my favourites.

I've read this story so many times. It's one of my favourites because I love Eliza and Dana and i wanna see more of them. Please continue this story. I'd love to see a sequel chapter.

It’s an erotic story, and in order for it to be porn, it would require pictures of a very graphic nature.

Get over yourself.

Do your editing as you please, but don’t EVER under-estimate your reading public again.

Person below: chill out fam. It was a good story, very hot and I enjoyed it.

I cannot write words sufficient to describe this story. It is without a doubt the best one off I have ever read. Well defined characters and a great story arc and the finale was a real showstopper. Great work will fav both

Love the development of the your stories, too many authors just dive in but you always make it realistic and to me that makes it more erotic when they finally do have sex. You’re one of my favourite authors, please keep up the great work!

I filled in the few small errors and made auto corrections in my mind. I think narrator comments are better in situations where thoughts are brief and wouldn't be vocalized in the heat of whatever action is taking place. I enjoy stories where the reader can get into the mind of the characters without having unnecessary suspense of someone finding out and all the junk that ensues before getting back to the actual story. I attend a lot of theater rather than movies because every detail does not require being included. I have an imagination that fills in potential problems adequately.

Loved the story and have read it several times. Thank you.

Great read and so well written with great descriptions of the sexual and non sexual actions. Another chapter could have had these two fall in love for the long term. Gave the story a 5 based on content however, there were a few spelling and other errors, but none had an impact on this story. Great job!!!!!!

As "porn" goes, this...was beautiful. I wish more people thought/lived this way. There'd be a lot more love in our world and that would be evidently obvious. Keep up the great work.

Real quality stuff.

Loved it. It’s hard to find a good slow burn with two sisters. Smut sure? But this, with the longing and the want was incredible.

Maybe it was just how I read it, but I could feel the story speed through the intense scenes and slow down for the normal bits of dialogue. Can't say that's ever happened with any other story. 10/10 will definitely be reading again.

Wonderful story.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Great description of the scenes and feelings.

Brilliant! This hits so many of my buttons - sisters, lesbian, even backstage theatre. When I re-read it (which I'll do often) I'll skip the anal bit at the end, but that's just a personal preference.

I agree with those who want more. I got so involved with these two and believed the story so much (such is the quality of the writing) that it left me desperate to know how their relationship, and their careers, developed.

It is fantastic, the logic, the phasing. It's very well written, and really makes you crave more! I don't feel as it is porn as you say. More like it's q good story that happens to have smut. Well done.

Very hot! More than that it is a wonderful story and well written. It seemed so natural that they became lovers. The fact that they were sisters just made the story better. They would always love each other and do whatever they could for each other. We'd like to believe that they remain lifelong lovers.

While your story may be porn, i would call it erotica. You gave your readers characters to well rounded to be simple porn. It waa really fun to read.

Great story! I loved how the feelings came across so well. 5 stars for me!

HAHAHA! You *always* have to end a sex scene with an anal event! It's so so you.

5⭐️ Loved it!

Incredibly hot 🔥

Seems well written and really hot. Truth, dont like idea of licking “that” finger all that much

Wow..hot scenes..verysexyand incest!.great feelings!

Thanksforthis…more?

Great story. 5/5

This was a good story with a nice build up. Although, it cracks me up that this "play" is more of a sex show than a piece of theater. "Okay we finished the nude kissing scene, now on to the sex scene. Now lets finish off with a sex monologue." Admittedly, I'd be very interested in seeing a play like this haha.