All Comments on 'Sister's Love'

I really enjoyed this story, it had a nice setting despite a rather quick pace, fun characters with tantalizing past, emotions that feel alive, a super sweet and loving ending, and even superb potential for more down the line.

All that is great but the errors present curbed that experience immensely, from wrong placed commas to spelling errors to wrong adjectives, you had it all. Better look up the difference between sense and since, the former is what you should have been using this whole story. And half-mast does not describe length but the stiffness of a penis. I strongly advise you to get an editor for your future publishings.

Still you deserve a solid 4* for the story itself.

I agree with the first comment, the story itself is not bad, but your grammar is atrocious. You have a serious habit of placing commas where they don't belong, and you need to work on your spelling and word choice.

English not your first language?

You constantly jump from past to present and it really hurts. The rest ist difficult to read.

One star for effort, hell you posted the story.

One star for it being interesting.

Very nice story. The writing was quite rough. You would do well to rewrite it with some help from a good proof-reader.

Over and over, readers have told you that your writing is atrocious. So, what do you do? You ignore any advice sent your way and keep writing substandard stories.

Either learn to write or just stop it.

Get an editor and proofreader. The premise is good, but a mistake nearly every line is ridiculous. Simply put, high school vocabulary and 5th grade punctuation.

To hell with the grammar-Nazis. Keep writing. The story line was good and while you did make some mistakes, it didn't keep the tale from being entertaining.

not break.....

Very, very rough .

Absolutely atrocious grammar. You're plot was divine, though the ending wasn't my cup of tea, but your grammar kept throwing me off. Not the worst I've seen, but it needs drastic improvements.

Needs a shitload of editing and proofreading, if the story didn't have so much potential I would've quit reading it after the first few paragraphs.

For telling us this story was edited, and by whom. I've said it before and I'll say it again, your so called "editor" did you no favors what so ever. I'd hate to see the "unedited" version. As soon as I read the line, "I done started to get stirrings..." I knew I was in trouble. I should have stopped then, but, bein g a glutton for punishment, I kept reading. So many wasted words, it's easy to see when this story was 3 Lit pages long. I'm not sure what's worse; Ortay for thinking he edited this, or you for thinking Ortay edited this.

Please continue the story.

... how many people can post anonymous comments about stories in this genre, and manage to put their feet in their mouths - like the comment, above, where the person says that the plot was divine, but the ending wasn't his/her cup of tea. It's an incest story about an 18-year-old girl and her 19- or 20-year-old brother. (We're told her age, and that she's younger than him, and if he was 21, he could buy his own beer.) But it's an incest story, about their very special love. How else could it end happily (for the two lovers), but for them to figure out a way to get married and stay together for the rest of their lives?

First off, I didn't read the whole story. After the first few sentences, I had a nagging feeling that this might be challenging read, so I checked the comments and yup, suspicions confirmed. Just to check for myself, I went up a bit, and the first thing I read was "Los Vegas". Right... And a bit above that, it says something along the lines of "if she wasn't moaning [,,,] she went back to moaning. That just doesn't make sense.

It takes quite some effort to write and submit a story. If your readers give up because it's essentially unreadable, it means that all this effort hope to waste. Try to improve the grammar and readability. It's really important.

It was real hot read. Thanks for your effort.

The best I've read. Just the sort of sister I would have liked if I'd had one. A really lovely girl.

Just read it for the third time. My favourite story of all and I LOVE THIS GIRL!!

I agree 18 yr olds volunteering for the military should be allowed to drink and are in Europe or any country with a lower drinking age than the USA. BUT they are volunteers to maybe die for their country most 18 yr olds are not. HELL most 21 yr olds are too fucking stupid to be allowed to drink!

Finish this please because I since that there is more to this like how do you tell your parents

Your stories are good but damn I can't read them because of the way you write them. It is just to hard to read a paragraph that could say the same thing in a sentence or two.

Great start to this love story, however, this really needs to be continued. But after seeing the published date on this story I guess it will remain as so many do here on Lit, unfinished and the ending will be left to the imagination of the reader. 5 stars

I love the story, but i cant give more than a 3 star due to the writing. Your grammar is terrible, and your sentences are clunky. Your dialogue needs work. Of course, I've not read your more recent stories, but this one was lacking in the writing. I hope you've improved and continue to improve because it really is a good story.

First off I am not a writer, if this is your first time I suggest you make arrangement for some classes, The story could have been hot but way to much personal dialogue, you wrote everything you had in your mind. Keep writing I look forward to seeing your improvement

Loved this story love a sister like this

It was very sexy