All Comments on 'Sisters of the Cohort Ch. 01'

A well written Beginning the whole story needs fleshing out

great start keep it coming

Pretty good start I agree. The second page is much better than the first. I don't know that this story needs a continuation, (he was initiated properly!) but if you do it could be really interesting. Keep up the good work.

1 Word. MORE!

Great start to the story, I can't wait to read the rest!

Now that there is writing, is what that is!

the word rogue in this instance just doesnt seem right

The story had some pretty interesting things, I especially liked Mikeal's charmed tent at the beginnig, and the story of how he got it. ;-)

And the pattern of him spending time with women eager for sex, which always seems to pay off (aside from the getting sexed bit) makes me think he is blessed by some sort of sex-goddess. (But I guess I'll find out more about that in later chapters.)

Also, Mikeal's past was quite interesting and sad, appearantly heroes of fantasy stories always have to have dead or missing parents. T-T

Anyway, the fight with the skeleton warriors and necromancer was well written, and had me genuinly scared for Mikeal's safety. (Especially when it appeared that he had died.) But luckily he was alive, and is some prophesized warrior. Hurray!

What I really enjoyed though, was reading Lucinda's description, you've did a good job at that, and I also really like the name you picked for her.

The way they entered the sanctuary was also a nice thing to add, plus the fact that there are other, more luxirious ones, makes me curious to find out just how they look! (And you already did a great job at making this one appear luxurious, so yeah.)

The explination about the Cohort makes me want to find out more about them, as well as the gods. Does the fact that there are 5 (now 6) members mean that there are as many gods? How are they granted their longlivety, ect. (So you know how to keep people reading.)

Anyway, I can't wait to find out who the other members of the Cohort are, what they look like and what their role will be. I'm also interested in where you plan to take this story, so I'll try to read the second chapter when I got the time.

-Risax

he better still deliver that package.