All Comments on 'Slave Unbound Ch. 09'

FML these people are sickening - so kudos to you for writing them!

Thanks for sharing

Tess (uk)

Hahaha, well, I'm glad I've managed to make sickening worth reading. Hahaha

I have tried very hard to make the story worth while, despite how evil so many people in it are. Again, the idea is to show the dark and the evil of the world as a stark contrast, to make the people who are of real virtue stand out the more. I've always found characters surrounded by nothing but corruption who manage to maintaint heir integrity to be fascinating ones. I've also always loved villains that you can 'love to hate'. While some characters are meant to be purely repugnant (the Baroness), others are meant to (hopefully) be so devilish as to be delightful.

Very interesting start to this story. Found parts slightly awkward but other very fluid. Perhaps you did this as a contrast much like your good/evil contrast stated below.

There are very likely some very awkward places that are so because of finding myself having to pull back a lot on the intensity I had originally planned to bring into this, due to it being posted on a public site. The site itself has rejected chapters before due parts and I've received reader complaints that made me realize that I wouldn't be able to make this story as dark as what it was meant to be. So, there have been a lot of places where I had to go back and 'lighten' some things that made them not flow as well and other places where I had to make a course correction to keep things more 'acceptable' so that the chapters actually get published on here at all.

In addition to that, the book is being written as I go, so there are sometimes things where I had meant to go one way and ended up going in a somewhat different direction later, meaning that the earlier part didn't line us as well as intended.

My plan is to go back through the whole novel, once it's finished and do a 'not for open public' version that better cleans up inconsistencies, adds more sensitive details that had to be dropped out, and returns a bit more of the intensity to the story. That version will be made into a .99 e-book.

Ugh I love how complex your characters are and the world building! I love seeing the game of thrones-esque political mind games. And I find the dialogue and pacing incredibly realistic, which is one of the most important things for me.

Personally, I like it when stories are extra dark. It makes the stakes much higher and feels more realistic than if everything goes perfectly for the protagonist. Although on the other hand, I love to see the wronged characters get their revenge, and I almost always prefer a happy ending.

I created a new email and literotica account just so I can comment on your stories :) Would absolutely buy your book!

Thank you very much. I'm really glad you are enjoying the story and the characters. It always amazes me when someone likens this book to Game of Thrones, given how popular that series is. I wouldn't have considered my stuff even close to being on par. I always imagined my work more along the lines of the old Forgotten Realms novels from the 80's, if a bit more adult and dark.

Leita goes through a lot, but does have a lot of luck with avoiding some things. Part of that is a tip of the hat to the original material from which this story is based (a table-top RPG game), where her character was blessed with some pretty amazing luck on rolls.

I do plan on turning this into a fully published book, which will have some significant adjustments made to the story to make it a bit more edgy and dark. Posting it on a public forum like this means I have to stay within certain lines, which often have to be extra black and white due to people on the internet wanting to exploit loopholes for bad acting. There were a few parts early on where I had to 'lighten' elements to avoid censorship from the site. (Which I actually understand and don't have a beef with.) However, the professionally published version will allow me to re-instate a few elements that were a little to questionable for the staff here.