by sexipixi
Lovely writing!!! Please write a chapter 2....soon, pretty please :-)
Nice sexual experience, but I would have liked more character development. Quick to orgasm, and short. Would it not be interesting to be at breakfast with the two, and listen to their feelings the next morning! You write well and craft a nice situation, you sex is well written, I can feel their wetness in your words. But I really don't know their feelings, their reactions. Please keep writing you have started well
I felt the author rushed through the details of the story. The details felt rushed. The grammatical errors were atrocious to say the least. The story didn't read well, and in this case, I am glad it was over right away.