All Comments on 'Slut Wife - One Woman's Guide Pt. 02'

It's true there wasn't a story, this was a lucid but fanciful raison ďêtre for those men who apparently have a bit more faith in then myself in benevolence of ' most 'hot wives ability to keep their marriages from heading downhill faster then a snowball headed for hell. For those unicorn couples who prosper by this credo , I wish them well and envy their chaos compartmentalizing skills.

Bottom line : It was a lucid read, albeit nothing I'd adopt as life template and I thank policywank for sharing.

In the first line you say "illicit" when you mean "elicit". Illicit: surreptitious or illegal in some way; elicit: produce or provoke.

In part 10 you say:

"You have every right to expect your wife to support your needs and desires."

Really? Then what if you equally want to "cuckqueen" her?

and in part 12 you say:

"Once you have been with a true naughty girl you will never want anyone else."

You hope. On the contrary, it could just as equally result in the man wanting to enjoy both other "naughty" girls and others who are not so naughty ie faithful.

Your manual reads like an election manifesto, only seeing one point of view, while paying scant lip service to the other.

But as always I am impressed with the clarity of writing from this contributor.

There is something to be said about the turning of the tables between now and half a century ago. Then it was always assumed that it was the man who had widespread sexual desires while the woman was the home maker and child raiser. Now the perceived roles seem almost to be reversed insofar as the sexual capacity is concerned anyway. I would welcome some analysis of how this came about. Or maybe not......

Thank you for a great review of the hot wife lifestyle. I disagree with your theory that a husband's obedience is necessary for that lifestyle to work well. A husband who is comfortable with his wife exploring her sexuality outside the restrictions of marriage is not giving up his role as an equal partner in the marriage (unless he so desires).

Frank Redmont

But you missed several issues... Write more and be a little more involved, let your wife try all the ways she can have sex without your knowledge and without your participation or approval and let the experiment go on for several years and then find out that none of your kids are really yours. That might put some passion in your pencil.

Like Kimi, I believe this essay belongs in the Essays category. It isn't a "story" by any definition.

Unlike Kimi, I'll actually tell you why I don't like this essay, instead of hurling meaningless, juvenile, oh-so-creative epithets like "dimwit" at you. I don't like this essay because every step along the way...you're right. You're absolutely right, and that makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

Women are sexually superior to men. They can have multiple orgasms. They can get laid whenever and however often they like. And no matter how good you are in bed (or how good you think you are), your wife/girlfriend can always find someone else who gives her something you can't. And that sucks.

The myth is that women are happier being sexually-exclusive and desire less sexual variety than men. The opposite is true. And that sucks.

You busted another myth about "wimpy cuckolds." The first time I was with a "hotwife" her husband was a tough, blue collar, guy who power-lifted, rode a motorcycle, etc.. He was probably the last guy most people would suspect of being a "willing cuck." Every husband I've ever met who has a "hotwife" is the opposite of the LW stereotype.

Thanks for a thought-provoking, and highly-discomforting, essay.

Every new story involving cuckold's seems to bring out the trolls with no reading comprehension.

"I disagree with your theory that a husband's obedience is necessary"......even though the 3rd last paragraph right there on the same screen says "It isn't absolutely necessary that the cuckold be submissive".

Meanwhile another anon is babbling about a deceitful wife and having kids that aren't your own when everything in this and the previous essay talks about being aware and honest and not letting non-monogamy get confused with being mistreated.

Its all the same old nonsense of people believing that one equals the other. It is forced monogamy that leads to deceit. If she was a virtuous woman she would just stay at home and pretend she is satisfied with your little dick, beer belly and closed mind - that nonsense approach is what leads to deceit because that is the only option to get laid properly.

This is Part 2, but it really only rehashes the main points of part 1. Nothing new here.

While you don't require that cuckolds be submissive, you do strongly suggest it. This makes it more a fetish piece and the post more propagandistic than an honest exploration of the potential lifestyle. Despite what swingerjoe says, your stance is not even handed.

There is also a fetish aspect to the idea that women have more sexual capacity then men. It appears you have never watched a porn film. I do believe men can withstand more wear and tear on their cocks, especially if circumcised, than women can on their pussies. Many women quickly tire of being pounded. You seem to equate sexual stamina with being merely receptive and perhaps being multi-orgasmic. In fact, less than half of women, and perhaps way less than half (one study placed the number at 15%) are able to have multiple orgasms without a "refractory" period. It is just less obvious then in men. And the man who is into edging, and especially with the new drugs available, can fuck for hours. Those with RD (retarded ejaculation) find it to actually be a curse sometimes, though most women appreciate someone who isn't a one-minute wonder.

So, with a number of false premises, you can make anything seem true. As a fetish piece, however, it is a fun read. Since it is mostly a rehash of your first piece, 3*.

Category choice issues are obvious, enough said on that.

Biggest issue is YES, this is by far, NOT a balanced accounting, or written without bias or even malice (to a lesser degree).

I have no desire to rebut point for point. But the real issue is how you lack any meaningful discussion of what REALLY leads to cuckolding. And that is an hyper-extension of low self esteem.

What you call liberation, is merely a quest for validation. BOTH PARTIES have to be struggling with VERY LOW self-esteem to make the described cuck scenario work. And then? For how long does it actually work?

Missing is any sense of the self image of both partners united in the marriage. But worse, is missing any glance into the future of how this turns out. just imagine 20 years into the future of a marriage filled with disrespect. When all of the bulls are gone because they lost interest in the used up cum dumpster, where is the sexual superiority then? Now you will say that she needs to attend to his "needs" as well as the overriding idea of being subordinate to him. Yet it is ALSO clearly stated that the entire reason for this is that she can't respect him or even ANY man. This is why your logic falls apart. No relationship lasts for any real length of time without mutual respect, and that is why these couples have no future that ISN'T mired in abuse. You can say that it shouldn't be that way, but you are in denial that it is. You can say anything you want is "truth", and allow that it isn't that way for everybody, as a safety clause against absolutism. But until you really look in the mirror to be able to examine the harm that these behaviors REALLY cause, you are as misguided as anyone could possibly be.

I ask you, take your cucked husband. Find a TRUELY unbiased third party mental health professional. Have him be assessed clinically. I guarantee that any testing would find that he is suffering from some aspect of depression stemming from low self-esteem. Now bluster all you want because these tests are built around societal norms and stereotypes. But until you ACTUALLY research the REAL psychology (or psychosis) at work and present in these relationships, you shouldn't be writing an essay on anything, for anybody.

My advice is to stick to the fiction. Leave reality to the professionals who have spent years of study in achieving scholastic credibility.

I found your article interesting, informative and generally balanced. Who can argue that a woman has more capacity for sex since they do not have to have an erection and there are always horndogs out there who will sex anyone with a hole between her legs.

My comments are as follows: There is a difference between desires and needs. A person needs to eat and breath. A person does not need sex or sex with more than one person although they may desire to do so. I always read in these situations "my "needs changed." Bullshit, your desires changed. So if a woman or a man wants to open a marriage or relationship it has nothing to do with "needs" but desires. If the other partner shares the desire or is not opposed than things may be fine. But if the other partner is not inclined to opening the relationship and has a strong feeling against it there is a problem. In this case, I think there are many ways to try resolve the situation. Divorce may be the best option if one of the parties is going to be very unhappy with having to yield to the other's desires.

When I got married, decades ago I might add, monogamy was expected although there were certainly "cheaters" and probably more often the man in the marriage but certainly not always. My take on this is that it is still the expectation and if a person enters into a longterm committed relationship or is married, if they anticipate their "desire" to be monogamous to not be permanent, they have an obligation to discuss this upfront with their partner in advance. Later, if their needs change and they want to explore their sexuality with third parties and the partner feels strongly they do not want this without the prior agreement there is a problem. The partner that desires other sex partners needs to suck it up or he or she will be in breach of the contract they made with their partner since the parties entered into the relationship with either express or implied agreement to "exclusivity." The spouse wanting to sex outside the marriage needs to "suck it up" and live with the decision he or she made originally since they or the one that wants to change. They should realize that everyone does not have every desire satisfied and it is not the end of the world. I might desire to not be bald but desiring it does not mean I need it. My 2 cents. BTW I enjoyed your play on the word elicit at the beginning. Submitting to her authority usually helps the cuckold accept his role.

Finally, although I believe your piece was fair and balanced the following statement almost ruined it for me: "Submitting to her authority usually helps the cuckold accept his role." This may have inadvertently given away your true mindset and for me diminished the feeling of balance and objectivity your article was trying to achieve. Neither party needs to have "authority" over the other unless it is what both parties want.

anon.1

I always get a chuckle out of it whenever some self-proclaimed expert explains with 100% certainty that he knows everything there is to know about a topic on which he has zero experience, zero first-hand knowledge, and has done zero research into the topic at hand. It would be like me explaining to gay people why they're gay. Or explaining to a Scientologist why Scientology is a mental disorder. How presumptive!

Sorry, but there are no "studies" that "prove" anything about hotwife relationships. In fact, the only studies I've ever been able to find on the topic of married couples who willingly allow each other to engage in extramarital sex show that these couples are happier and healthier than sexually-exclusive couples.

And no, engaging in these types of open sexual relationships does not demonstrate low self-esteem by either partner. In fact, it's exactly the opposite. You have to be unusually confident in yourself and your marriage to even consider an open arrangement. It is the men who fear that their wives would leave them if they slept with a man with a bigger dick who suffer from low self-esteem.

Swinger joe has probably the best response, a lot of the commenters are talking about things they don't know. For example, assuming a wife and husband who engage in some form of sex outside martiage must have low self esteem, to be willing to do 'that,it comes from the view that monogamy represents the pinnacle of normalcy, which is a moral judgement. Are there people who go outside who are fouled up? Yep, but that is true of a lot of things, a person who drinks a lot isn't necessarily an alcoholic for example. It is like the view that submissives are wimpy ,abused people craving abuse while many are strong, accomplished people.

The essay is right on the dynamics, that the people have to be in a good place for this to work. I have seen cuckold relationships I felt weren't healthy, the the wife was abusive and the husband taking it, and cheating itself is not healthy because it is one way, non consensual. The idea it is always unhealthy comes put of the common wisdom ( which by now should seem to be a crock of shit, common anything is usually mostly ignorance), 'how could any [real] man allow his wife [ie his property] to fuck other men?' [Wimp,fag,abnormal,etv]. The true bias there is somehow the man owns the wife and her sexuality, and to let that go means giving up a fundamental right as a by a husband...which is bullshit. Cheating is wrong because it is non consensual, it is breaking the trust and unilaterally deciding what the rules are.

One thing the article doesn't mention is that the difference between a healthy relationship and one that is not is healthy boundaries and healthy boundaries can be fluid, but they are decided by both.The standard marriage vows in some ways are not healthy, because they basically default to monogamy and because f fear of judgement, everyone mouths them (oh but that is sacred covenant,etc...that is the same religious thought that made women property and reduced sex to being something dirty needed to make babies), and few people even talk about it,it is assumed.... a cuckold relationship where the wife has sex with the guy's boss when that was a no no is unhealthy, one where she does because he is turned on by that is not necessarily unhealthy ( doesn't mean it would be wise at all...). Healthy also means open communication, checking in, to make sure the other person is okay.

My big objection to this article is the whole crap about what the superiority of woman's sexuality, that men need to accept that sex with her husband must be a bunny hill,etc. To me that is projecting male sexuality on women. Many men wish they could have sex 12 times a day but are bound by male physiology, but the reality for women is varied, a lot of women may be able to have sex that much, but dint desire to, and her a lot more out of 1,fuck w the person they love then 5 guys on the side, it is arguing because they can, they want or have to, and it is going against the idea of a loving,equal relationship. Put it this way, instead of women being these hypersexual beings dragged down by male sexuality, take a look at the stats on women and orgasms, or how many women see sex as a duty, or would prefer to be non sexual, and it tells a different story. Women and men are different, but that does not mean unequal or that women ' settle for one partner or feel like they are on a bunny hill when they could have double diamond, that is not true for all or many.

Thought provoking, prob should be in reviews and essays , though

I have to admit, I have a curiosity about the mindset of cuckolding. Swingers make perfect sense to me, but cuckolding isn't easy to grasp.

At one time, I thought that the cuckold had to have low self-esteem in order for the relationship to work. It was the only explanation that made sense. But I have had conversations with a few men who enjoy watching their wives have sex with other men. Most of the time they think of themselves as swingers and not cuckolds, but the sentiment turns out to be the same because women will always have more opportunities for sex than men.

One guy that is a very good friend of mine has besn married for over 30 years. He and his wife still kiss each other goodbye, slap and pinch each other's butts, and look at each other witj those "I love you" eyes. When i found out that they were swingers, it blew my mind. He told me that one of the biggest turn ons for him was to watch his wife in a threesome without him.

He opened my mind up. Now, I'm not going to try swinging, but he did make me realize that wrong for me doesn't necessarily mean plain wrong. We each have to maintain our own marriage with what works for us. One size doesn't fit all.

Nice job author. Wrong category, though. 3's from me.

Just a note. Stories that explore the kind of relationship above did, I think, belong in LW. However, stories that explore the more abusive kinds of relationships that this author appears to say are other than healthy do not. They do have a place. In fact a couple places in Literotica. Those that center on enjoying the humiliation or abuse easily fit in BDSM. I mean the "M" is for masochism. Or they can go in fetish. Good LW stories tend to focus on relationship dynamics.

Do either one of you hold a degree in psychology? If not, shut the fuck up, neither one of you know what the fuck you're talking about. I got to laugh at the bluster of these idiots who will say anything to further their unhealthy swinging relationships. You want to share your wives, fine, do it, but don't tell the rest of us how it's a healthy relationship. What do your kids think of your fucking around, are they all for it, or didn't you bother to tell them yet that their mother is a hot wife, willing to spread for any man she desires. Since when have humans become animals, seeking only sexual gratifications?

How do you know it's unhealthy? Do you have a degree in psychology? If not, then by your own reasoning, shut the fuck up. You have no idea what you're talking about.

P.S. - Do you tell your kids about all the things you and your wife like to do sexually? What a stupid thing to say.

I found this to be a well-reasoned and thoughtful contribution to an on-going discussion in the LW category, which also elicited (not illicited) some equally thoughtful comments. Congratulations Ms PolicyWank.

Unlike many contributions in the LW category, which state unequivocally that "this way of behaving is right and all other ways are wrong", this essay accepts a wide range of possibilities in marital sexual behaviour. But it also makes the point that compromise may be necessary and doing something knowingly that will hurt a partner is not acceptable.

I agree with most, not all, of the points made in the essay. But all the points are worth thinking about, and I presume that was the author's intention -- to get readers thinking (or at least those capable of doing so).

Lue

I find this man hating feminazi rant degrading, I refuse to believe that my own and my husband's worth is only in what dangles between his legs and the hole between mine, does sex take up ones whole day, 24/7? there is no mention of the shared love, companionship, lives, interests, parenting, careers. So maybe we don't hear heavenly voices singing the Hallelujah chorus everytime we go to bed, thats life!, get over it! We trust one another to not turn into a cheating slag or sleaze the minute the spouse is out of sight of the other. We have been married 40 years, so I would rather our outlook on marriage than this authors.

"So maybe we don't hear heavenly voices singing the Hallelujah chorus everytime we go to bed, thats life!, get over it! We trust one another to not turn into a cheating slag or sleaze the minute the spouse is out of sight of the other."

...which is why you're reading an erotic story on an erotic website in a category dedicated to extramarital sex...err...why?

If the idea of extramarital sex offends you so, you're in the wrong category, honey. (And the title of "Slut Wife" probably should have clued you in as to what this is about.)

I suggested in my comment that not all commenters were capable of rational thought.

Exhibits A & B -- the last two anonymice.

To the third from last Anonymous, may I suggest that you re-read the essay with a somewhat more open mind?

I certainly didn't receive any message that ". . . my own and my husband's worth is only in what dangles between his legs and the hole between mine". I read an essay that suggested tolerance and understanding of the range of possibilities in relationships between husband and wife. It included the possibility that one partner may say "no".

Lue

Between my reading the three Anonymous comments and posting my reply, the two idiotic ones were deleted, presumably by the author. (One was the usual Frontshit, etc lamebrained comment made with monotonous regularity.)

Lue

I didn't read a rant. I didn't read anything that said a person's value is tied up in the genitals. I read an article that said a person's value is NOT tied up in their inclination to abide by other people's view of how to live their lives. It was geared to men (and their wives) who are or are interested in becoming cuckolds.......including cautionary notes.

The anon rant comment reads like the ill informed statements that have been made in the past about homosexuality or inter-racial relationships. You presume that by even raising the topic this author is advocating a lifestyle and foisting it onto others. Its not true and you know it. Just like homosexual teachers aren't molesting your children or trying to make them gay. This author is just refusing to abide by your norm and not talk about the things that make you uncomfortable is not the same. She isn't criticizing your sex life - she is just denying your right to criticize hers.

Perhaps there is a reason you feel insecure enough to infer a criticism of your sex life that wasn't in the text.

Did Cyferx actually use porn as the evidentiary basis for concluding that a cock can withstand more wear and tear than a pussy? LOL. Ya that is indisputable evidence right there???? Moron, porn is geared to guys and their delusions. A woman "can't take anymore" is guy friendly code for "she is bored and doesn't want anymore" or "the guys watching already blew their load so we are just wasting film now".

Try not to follow the storylines and you will see that the women in porn are superior to their male counterparts in every way. Ever notice it is always a new hung stud that is just "ruining" some tight little pussy and she can take a smoke break and come back and be "ruined" again.

and to add, I was okay with concepts 1-4. After that its just crap excuses for a heartless uncaring woman to cheat, disrespect and hate her husband. That is pathetic! No where does it mention that maybe she is inadequacy in bed. Maybe the husband needs more. Like a loving caring wife or a hot slut in bed willing to try new things with him. Nothing wrong with sharing, but it needs to be together with respect for each other. Marriage is a two way street. If either spouse is not happy then they need to communicate with their spouse and work it out or divorce. Not too complicated if you ask me.

LW lately is full of MDs in psychology...One even said she used some writer's stories to treat his patients...Poor patients...So today a new MD has showed up to help wives to cuckold their husbands...Are the universities in the States offering free MDs? No rating...

What an interesting and well thought out essay about the cuckold.

As mentioned before in my stories (mostly true), my wife was a huge slut before I met her. She readily admits she fucked several dozens of men. Initially, she slept with guys due to low self esteem, but as she matured, she found power in her huge boobs, the power of sex, and did it for enjoyment.

I've always been turned on by dirty women and have embraced her past to spice things up. Ever since I've know her, she has dressed provocatively, showing off her tits and cleavage. She always has attracted male attention, due to her flirty manner, as well as for her body. I'm well aware that most guys she meets can't look her in the eye. I'm fine with it. It's part of what attracted me to her in the first place. I didn't look her in the eyes at first either.

Having been together for a long time now, we do have an open relationship. I've hooked up with other women, she's hooked up with men. Not sure how that makes me a cuck. She gets more, for lack of better word, uptight, about me fucking other women than I do about her getting other dicks.

It's one of those scenarios where, as the husband, you have to set expectations. I am fully aware my wife can get fucked anytime, anywhere if she put the slightest effort into it. So there is that inequality that you have to accept. While she has certainly fucked far more men during our marriage than I've fucked women, that's just the way it goes in such a situation.

There are so many monogamous relationships out there, where sex barely happens. I wouldn't want that. Because we keep it fresh, where we fuck other people occasionally, sex is still interesting to us. She knows I love to hear her stories of fucking other men, and when she talks about other men cumming on her big tits or fucking her 2-3 times in a night, I find it hot. I married a slut to begin with, might as well let her keep on with it. I also fill her in on the things I do, and while she sometimes gets a little jealous (which admittedly is preposterous), she understands that I have to get my fix as well for this set up to work.

I truly don't get jealous. I want her to stay interested in sex and I encourage it. She's had quite a few cocks bigger than mine during our marriage. Might as well get turned on by her stories and dirty talk about fucking a huge cock.

I don't do creampies. When she comes home after being fucked, she takes a shower and washes. When I fuck her after the shower, and she's been stretched out like the whore I imagine her to be, I am incredibly turned on thinking about her pussy being a sperm receptacle. (Because of our set up, she's still on The Pill). Cum Dumpster Kelly. It is what it is and I won't apologize for it.

Is our marriage perfect? No. We fight like normal couples. However, she's never used sex with another man as retaliation. That's an unspoken boundary we haven't crossed.

Have I fucked women who were better in bed than her? Yes. Has she been fucked by guys better than me? Yes.

You tell me what's better: a sexually repressed relationship of monogamy where once a month (if lucky) a couple may do missionary or an exciting relationship, where sex happens a couple times a week, both husband and wife are happy, satisfied, and STILL greatly enjoy that part of their relationship?

.

If you want to know which sex organ is more durable, just check the surfaces. Other than a uncirced cock, dicks have a well-keratinized surface all over. They are rugged. Vaginas are lined with a fragile mucus membrane, non-keratinized, only the rectum has a more fragile membrane. This is why they are the number 1 (anal) and number 2 (vaginal) forms of sex that are at most risk of exposing the person to HIV. Mucus membranes are subject to tearing and injury from simply being fucked. (The lining of the mouth is the toughest of these three orifices.) So, yeah, a dick can fuck longer without injury than a vagina can take it if that dick has been circumcised, which is the norm in the US (though that is slipping as of late). The only thing in the way is the male orgasm or otherwise losing an erection. So, the idea that women naturally have more sexual capacity than men is fallacious, even if we are only looking at intercourse (not oral, etc.). It is just that the norm for sex is the achievement of orgasm and when this happens for the male the show is over for while, the dreaded refractory period. If the man is intent on pleasuring the woman or women as long as possible, however, it is quite within his power to do so by delaying or denying orgasm altogether, merely edging his way through the encounter. Men on a hair-trigger may not be able to do this, but many to most men are.

As for the porn reference, it was to point out that most men in those films fuck for very long times, essentially as long as they want. So the suggestion that men don't have the same capacity for sex as women is pretty much based on stereotypes, not facts. If anything, there is evidence that men, at least circumcised men, have the sheer durability to go longer than women if they so desire.

The one point I don't ever see made about cuckolding is that no matter how much they claim that the woman is in control, why is it every story seems to have the "bull" as an alpha where he even dictates to the bitch. All that seems to suggest is that the idea of cuckoldry is just based on disrespect for the husband since wifey seems to surrender control to the "bull(?)".

You raise an interesting question, Anonymous "why is it every story seems to have the "bull" as an alpha".

Maybe it is because they are just stories and these are the fantasies of the authors, or perhaps that is what the authors think the readers want.

I can't speak from wide experience and I will bow to the expertise of PolicyWank and others such as SwingerJoe on this topic, but I certainly find those stories of rampaging 'bulls' and subservient cuckolded husbands quite unrealistic.

Lue

PW,

This post and your previous one are well laid out. And within the parameters and limits you posit, the ideas are consistent. However, there is a question that has bothered me for years about this approach to marriage. If the woman is free to love and make love to any man and she does, how does she show love to her husband? He is no longer unique. And as you point out, he is not able to meet your need: emotional or physical. I can see where the wife gets something out of this...all her desires met. But, wonder why such a woman would marry. I appreciate that there are some men that are innately submissive, but in this post and the previous one you went to great lengths to explain how to manipulate the husband into agreeing suggesting he is not consciously a submissive.

You also said "But neither love or sex are finite resources. What she gives to them does not take away from you and in fact may add to the totality she has for you. " But, time finite is which in fact makes love and sex FINITE resources. The time and effort spend loving and having sex with another man is time your husband will not receive. You mention coming home and letting your husband have sex with you. Are you trying to tell me that hours of good sex with another man or men will not tire you out? You don't need sleep? Even a HOTWIFE needs sleep so the husband will not be getting the wife's best.

I gave this post and the previous one 5* not because I agree with the logic, but because PW is attempting to provide some logic to a situation most men and, I'm guessing, most women would not find comfortable. It is a common theme here so on a fantasy level it has appeal here, but real life hardly leads to enough time for the wife to satisfy her husband or her husband to satisfy her. This become particularly difficult if they are mismatched in sexual desire. Typically, younger men have a higher libido and then the pendulum swings the woman may well have a higher libido particularly if the man has a high stress job. Actually, the presence of high stress job for a woman actually leads to the same issues.

PW, I look forward to seeing how you believe you show love to your H when he rarely if ever receives anything special from you other than being restrained in a cock cage.

By your reaction, anon must have hit a nerve. Maybe anons reasoning was it is a unhealthy practice from his point of view. Do you tell kids about your sexual preferences? No, but you can bet they'll find out. Kids are not stupid, they'll either stumble on it by accident or hear it from other kids. You can't keep this type of behavior secret for ever. What then? You don't have to have a degree in psychiatry to know it's an unhealthy environment you're creating for your family. It really doesn't matter what anybody says, you and your fellow cuckolds will defend your lifestyle to the death. Spiny it any way you want, but the way I see it, sexual gratification is your only concern. The drive to get off with strangers. Really a sad endeavor.

re:luedon- cool it, your protectionism of swingerjoe is amusing

... on which trees do all these idiots grow with their own wisdom and understanding of the world?

I can't relate with Chapter 7 and 8. It's because I have a higher libido than most if not all my previous and current (female) sex partners. I am currently monogamous, have been FWB and FB with plenty of women before and as such, outside a relationship I wouldn't mind to the third but really? Are you serious? My GF is so proud when she can me dry! I know from reading experience that most cuckolds can't keep up sexually with their wives and girlfriends but as in everything, there's outliers. Now, who's POV describes an outlier (mine or yours) is to be determined, especially if one only focus on one specific group like people in asymmetrical relationships. Oh, and an experienced man will never have problems with the ladies. Women talk, and reputation builds, at the very least. "Wining and Dining" house/roommates or friends who go out in "Ladies Nights", it's rather easy if you're a good lay and very, very discreet. Eventually, every girl/woman will want to have a go at you and learn from themselves if the rumours are true. Plus, inside the lifestyle you sure know about " bulls", right? Those tend to have "harems" of hotwives and single women/unicorns. You're totally forgetting that type of men and especially those amongst them that eventually enter into a relationship. Some stay on the lifestyle as Stag/Vixen couples or even in Asymmetrical, de facto MaleDom relationships. I personally chose not to, as I found someone I can call a soul mate that I will never want to share with anyone, even though I wouldn't mind "being shared" myself.

To respond to two earlier comments.

I also see the hypocrisy in the woman who rules her marriage but submits to the alpha bull. However, I have read all of this author's stories and you will find she doesn't go for that scenario either.

As for cyferx I am not sure where he got the idea that sexual capacity is linked to the durability of one's genitals. It isn't......unless of course your dick is a cheese grater. The constraining factor is the ability to get an erection. And every man has his limits.....whether he cums in a minute or an hour......whether he is done after one ejaculation or five......he runs out of steam. And every man's "steam" declines with age. A small proportion of men are truly exceptional but even they cannot keep up with any woman who chooses to go the distance. At most a woman gets tired, bored or sore...... but at most she needs some lube to carry on indefinitely.

As the point has been made - the proof is in every whorehouse the world over. All are filled with women employed solely to get fucked all day long. Unless the men are abusive those whores do not get to the point of being unable to be fucked. It's just the basic physiology of men and women. As is the fundamental truth that far more women are unfulfilled after a sexual encounter than men. Not every woman is a great lay but as long as she lets the man do his thing the man will almost always orgasm whereas the reverse is emphatically not true.

My wife has fucked a lot of guys. She puts it this way. 30% of the time it is mediocre and she was left unsatisfied. 30% of the time she was satisfied but would have preferred more. 30% she was sated and it was just right but she could have continued. 10% it was too much but she was still able to please her lover (although a couple times she choose not to). The proportion where she was unable to continue because her pussy wasn't sufficiently durable = 0%.

@policywank

Thank you very much for the couple of articles you have written on ethical non-monogamy (ENM). I often feel that the authors of erotic stories, specifically in this category, have little background in real world practices. It would be nice to read more believable stories where the characters had to struggle with the choices they make and how that makes them feel.

To the haters and doubters out there. People really do have open marriages and they really do "make it work". Success is hard to define compared to monogamous relationships where the only successful relationship is where the couple grow old together, never cheat on one another, and then one day one of them dies. That is a successful monogamous relationship. Success in a ENM relationship is defined by whether or not everyone in the relationships are free to discuss their needs and whether they feel that they are getting those needs met. But since society places such a high value on the longevity of relationships... yes, ENM relationships can and do last for many years just like monogamous relationships.

ENM is a giant catch all. All it really means is that all of the people involved in the relationships agree to have some level of openness in the relationship. On one end of the spectrum there are swingers who value open sexual relationships but downplay emotional involvement. On the other side there are the polyamorous folk (like myself) who seek out open loving relationship and tend to downplay the sexual (although it does happen... no denying there). But there are a myriad of ways for folks to express and explore ENM.

For the readers, this article focuses on cuckolding, which tends to focus on the sexual experience. It also touches on kink/fetish concepts such as dominance, submission, power exchange, roles, boundaries and limits. For those interested in such things I would suggest reading The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy as well as the New Topping Book and the New Bottoming Book (by the same authors). The focus of these books is on sex and how to have ethical relationships whether those are ENM or BDSM relationships.

For those who continue to hate and judge... stop. It's okay if you don't like hotwife and cuckold stories or articles about how people can have such relationships. But if that really isn't your thing try not to ruin it for those of us who do like to read such content. Go read some stories that get your rocks off and that you don't feel judgy about. You'll feel better and so will we.

Understand that people live like this but I really can't understand why. If you can't be loyal or need variety then don't get married. It is humiliating, disrespectful and degrading to find that the person you love wants or needs other men to satisfy her. Also I know people who try it like this or swinging but in my experience the extremely high percentage wind up divorced. I believe that because of the act is not normal but could work for others. I personally would never or could never live with this type of life or understand why anyone would waste their life live as the other spouse. Relationships are about doing and trying things to make your partner happy but it works both ways.

I think the last anon comment, perhaps inadvertently, reinforces the author's point in a way. The comment asserts one version of what represents loyalty and support. One version of what is normal. And as the author has noted those simply are not absolute truths. They are personal preferences or cultural norms. Those that choose ENM (as defined by the earlier anon comment) are not choosing to be disloyal or not giving to their partners. They just see those things differently.

As the author indicated......why is it up to one spouse to live an unfulfilled sex life in order to demonstrate their loyalty? Why isn't it up to the other spouse to give them freedom to enjoy themselves? There are many elements of a marriage that involve indulging one's individual preferences that do not necessarily lead to short changing your spouse. Every round of golf takes far longer than a simple afternoon delight. And either can put a spouse in a relaxed, receptive and generous mood.

We call this not getting married.

Statistically, marriages that open themselves to other partners, one sided or not, fail. The ones that 'succeed' do so only on the narrowest of terms, and usually over a very short term, particularly if they didn't start that way.

This ENM is an excuse to abuse. You use it to convince yourself that you're not hurting your partner or that they're not hurting you, but statistics show, over and over, your marriage will NOT last.

So, why should they sacrifice their desire? Because they vowed to do so, and honoring that vow and honoring their partner is more important than their sexual gratification. If monogamy isn't what they desired, they shouldn't have married. To my mind, the violation of the marriage vows is tantamount to rape of the unwilling or reluctant spouse.

Foregoing concerns regarding paternity, infectious disease transmission, and other societal concerns, non-monogamy in a marriage is always destructive to it.

That bears out in the statistics. You can argue all day that your case is different, but in a few years, at most, you'll see that you were wrong.

We could argue all day long regarding what the statistics show. But they are irrelevant to the assertions made by the last commenters.

Nobody gets to say whether or not my choices are valid or whether my marriage is legitimate. Whether you are one lone voice or every person on earth agrees with you is of no consequence because you and they have no say in these matters.

Even if you could provide incontrovertible proof that my marriage is 99.9999% likely to fail that wouldn't make my choices or my right to make those choices any less valid. And my marriage would be no less real as long as it is intact - which is defined solely by my wife and I.

The percentage of people who believe monogamy is what defines a marriage does not make it so. At the centre of any effort to adjust to an alternative lifestyle is the basic premise that other people do not get to define what is normal or acceptable.

There is no threshold of support above which this premise changes. The capacity of your statistics to affect the legitimacy of my choices is arrived at by multiplying the statistic by the proportion of my life you are entitled to judge which is 0%.

All those statistics (none of which you cited by the way - you just claimed that they were definitive with no proof) demonstrate is that which we already know. This lifestyle is not for everyone, fraught with peril and not something to be taken lightly.

But as I said before, I know a couple who have made it work, continues to make it work, and doesn't seem like they will stop making it work. I'm not an advocate for or against open lifestyles, but I can see how they could work if both parties are on board and on the same page. Like everything else, communication is the key.

I couldn't get on board with the cuckold thing, swinging seems like where my boundries lines would go to and stop, of course without actually doing it I couldn't say.. I'm not demeaning anybody for their choices, I guess I'm just not that guy, whether it be jealousy, or whatever. As the author states though there are various forms of the hot wife/cuckold relationship. I dont see any of them being for me, but hey, its not my party and do whatever you like.

I just threw my two cents in because it was a interesting read.

Left a clean but noncomplementary comment on 6/15. It has not posted. May be it is in process; or may be it was censored by the author and will be cut. If the latter, I won't waste time posting again...

This paper reminds of the justification for the Final Solution. An extremely well reasoned and logical justification of an insane premise. The premise being that women are superior to men because they can have sexual intercourse longer, and therefore men should be subservient to women to the extent that they should become their slaves.

There are so many sane counter arguments to this premise that I hardly know where to begin. First, is the contention that women are physically superior to men using this single criteria. If we are using physical superiority as justification, men are superior in almost all other ways. On average, men are stronger, can run faster, leap higher and farther and can jump higher. Should women be men's slaves because between the two genders, he is the mostly to be able to reach the book on the top shelf?

But how about non-physical attributes? Shouldn't they count? To name just one, how about kindness? The "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you", the rule of behavior deemed so important that it was named the Golden Rule. Are sadists like this author, who butcher that rule, superior to kind people? In what universe is this true? Or how about the many other attributes in this category?

Lastly, even if we buy her premise of superiority, is her behavior justified? Some people are always at the mercy of others. Should these "superior" people make slaves of these "inferior" people? If so, this sounds like the perfect justification for child abuse or abuse of the elderly, handicapped, etc.

In sum, this is the self-serving rationalization of a monster. Serious people should not take her remarks, however well presented. seriously.

I take her comments as perspective for people who choose the hot wife/cuckold lifestyle rather than advocacy for it. In both parts there is frequent mention of the fact that it isn't for everyone.

There is also recognition of the reality that men are superior in other ways......and they are not willing to be held back and pretend otherwise. So you go run and jump and bench press as best you can and let the ladies find real sexual satisfaction as best as they can.

We can all find the balance that suits our life. I prefer mind without too many self delusions and a happy wife who just happens to be a slut.

Survivor's assessment seems to be based upon the same old false premises that: a) monogamy is the standard that all spouses want; and b) when faced with a conflict between fidelity and sexual fulfillment it must be that fidelity prevails.

Imagine if you went to a friend and insisted that they end all of their other friendships and devote themselves only to you declaring publicly that you are the only friend they could ever want. Most people would interpret the "golden rule" to suggest that asking this of a friend is unfair and selfish.....not that the friend who cares for you should be compelled to reject all other friends. Most if not all of us recognize and accept that we connect with different friends and colleagues in different ways and embracing that diversity is healthy.

Many people see the dynamics of the marital relationship as different than friendship. That is fine. But the premise that it is inherently exclusive is a personal perspective not an absolute truth.

Women are sexually superior. If the roles were reversed men would insist on being permitted to exercise their superiority just as we do in the aspects of life where we are stronger. Monogamy is one of the many constructs developed in part to ensure we as men are buffered from the realities of those aspects of life where we are not superior.

While I agree that the genders are different or "superior" if you choose to interpret differences this way, it does not excuse the slavery of others. I hold that slavery is always wrong. You might excuse it by arguing that he is a voluntary slave. I counter that while not physically forced he was emotionally forced.

Was she upfront with guy and told him before he was emotionally involved that her desire and intent was to enslave him? No, she does not advocate this. Instead, this woman gets the man to fall in love with her by presenting a false face. Once he has, then she intentionally by small increments manipulates him into eventually becoming her willing slave at the expense of losing her "love". In reality there is no love involved from her to him. Only intentional manipulation from the start. In my book, this is so wrong and evil to do to another person.

There is a term for what this author advocates: Emotional Blackmail.

Honesty plays no role in her strategy. Her paper consists of using various tricks and lies to gradually "train" her victim. Then once she gets the victim to the point where he recognize her as the master and he is her slave, then all montrous options are open to her.

Ever heard the term "Power Corrupts and Absolute Power corrupts absolutely"? Translate that into a master/slave relationship. Humiliations and painful punishments that initially satisfied her need to inflict cruelty will need to be increased over time to yield the same satisfaction. How big a dick can her slave tolerate in his mouth and ass at the same time? When he sucked off the family dog, did he get the dog to cum in the time dictated to him? Did he wimper or complain at all? If so, severe punishments are in order. Spanking no longer satisfies. Maybe a dinner of dogshit would be fun to watch. How about restraining him and see how many safety pins can be inserted into his testicles at one time?

But how to get him to agree to these progressively horrible acts? Simple - find out what he values and then threaten to destroy it if he resists. Film his most humiliating activities and then threaten to release the evidence to people he values, his employer or the net to destroy him mentally.

All these techniques are not novel. Many are written about on this site. But these are the unintended (at least to the slave) consequences of this path.

You are channelling your observations and assumptions about every story in this genre and projecting them on to this author. I realize it is easier to justify your animosity but lumping all people who share a certain perspective into one but that doesn't make it accurate.

Valid criticism focusses on a the totality of what the author has written - not selected observations or extraplolation of what you assume she thinks or where it will lead.

Your rants read like the homophobes who read about one gay priest and extrapolated that to mean all gay men are abusive pedophiles intent on turning others to their view.

This author's guide is somewhat manipulative but it does provide cautions and guide posts along the way to determine if the man is suited to thus alternative life or not. Nonetheless it might surely be abused to some cuckolds detriment. But then all relationships and all of society is full of various means of coercing us into doing that which we don't want. Traditional practices and assumptions about monogamy and male/female roles enslave many people into situations that they don't like which lead to unhappiness. And millions of people stay in unhappy marriages for fear of the consequences of leaving including the wrath of their ex. It is no more valid to assume a hot wife will use nasty means to force her cuckold to comply than it is to assume any wife will spread nasty rumours in the wake of a break up. Some do and some don't.

Either way this author is not advocating any of the nasty abuse you describe. And those things are not the automatic result of this lifestyle any more than getting old and fat in a sexless and unhappy marriage with a nagging shrew are the automatic result of a traditional monogamous marriage. It is only by regarding alternative views as wrong and "other" and homogeneous that what can get to such broadly flawed assumptions.

This "guide" together with part 1 definitely crossed the line from teaching into manipulation. But so do the "teachings" of every major religion, society, culture or value system of any kind. All involve some degree of conditioning and coercion to comply, whether that be physical punishment, social exclusion, negative judgment or whatever. On TV manipulation comes with a laugh track as long as the manipulator is a hot chick or a likeable dufus.

For each group we classify our manipulations into those things that are for your own good, those that are wrong but harmless and those that are harmful.

It is hypocritical to get up in arms because this author or people who advocate this life style are manipulative or coercive. She/they aren't being any more manipulative than others. It's just that there is a difference of opinion as to which type of manipulation this is. For those that are conditioned to believe in monogamy this is inherently harmful manipulation whereas condemning a woman for her sexual urges is the "for your own good" kind of manipulation. How you or I feel about these things is opinion not fact.

There is no reason to suppose that the wife who manipulates her spouse for any number of reasons or objectives will continue to do so without limit - whether she a faithful traditionalist or a hot wife. Likewise there is no reason to equate a difference of opinion on sexual fidelity with inherent cruelty. This author's views are controversial but there is no evidence that she takes pleasure from her husband's suffering. She takes pleasure from her own sexuality - how that affects her husband is pure speculation.

Quick comment: you really see no difference between manipulation from a government, church, etc and manipulation from your life partner?

Sure I see the difference between manipulation by religion, government etc as opposed to your life partner. And I could argue side of which is more odious. But our personal relationships - spouse, family, friends - also feature manipulation. I am not advocating it or saying that all people are manipulative all the time but it is quite common.

There are lots of examples of spouses manipulating one another and that being deemed acceptable based upon societal norms. The difference between those scenarios and this one are in how acceptable we deem the purpose of the manipulation not the acts of manipulation themselves. And that degree of "acceptable" is subjective. We have stereotypes of a spouse manipulating for money, to get their spouse to put up with an insufferable in-law/friend, to forego activities they enjoy, or to be compelled earn the opportunity for sex with their own spouse. Those are all deemed acceptable - if you really love him/her you will accept these selfish foibles.

But extramarital sex is not. Even if the spouse is not putting out at all. It is ok to deny sex to your spouse for the thinnest of reasons and it is incumbent upon them to stick it out. It is never ok to seek sex elsewhere.

But those are just stereotypes of what society tells us. Manipulating your spouse towards accepting non-monogamy is not inherently more wrong or more manipulative than manipulating them to do anything else. You might feel that way but that is a personal values set - not a universal one.

Cucks, she will make attachments with some of her lovers, and you will probably be hurt by this.

This author is very insightful, and while she is advocating for the lifestyle, she is honest about its pitfalls,

I think that like almost everyone in our soxciety, she overplays the alpha/beta thing. I think most guys that think they are alpha, and almost all guys who cuckoldress women think of as alphas, can be taken down in short order by any reasonably experienced guy. Especially if he enlisted the help of his buds.

TWO comments about the cuck life:

Femdom does not necessarily include cuckoldry, Although many now days seem to think so.

Secondly, almost all of the cuckold essays by men and most of the ones by women gloss over how fortunate a Women is to have an otherwise decent and supportive man who is cool with being a cuck. This is especially true if the cuck actually likes his wife as a person and soulmate. It must be very hard to do so in that circumstance, a great sacrifice, I both could not do it, and don't want to do it, and I am VERY switchy/explorative about things.

Thank you for a good read, even after decades of alternative sexuality, you made some points that were illuminating for me, KUDOS!

PS To all you haters, grow up, if you don't like cucking, don't do it. She is not advocating cheating, just an option for those who are willing to take the risk.

This part seem to be more for the men, but I learned a lot reading it.

I fully agree with SlutAddicted . There is a lot of idiots commenting on this article most i would say have never experienced anything of what they wrote. I agree with the original OP. My wife and I have been married for fifty eight years and she has been to bed with twelve different men in that time some for years and guess what we still love each other as the day we were married. How does that fit into your stats.

kkkkk claro deixa o amante mandar flores e deixar o relaciomanento crescer ela é uma mulher tudo nela é intenso vc n pode acompanhar ela é de ser esperar q ela ache q faz o papel q vc n faz se por acaso ela ficar meio apaxonada e o amante querer algoas serio n precisa se preocupar ela só sair ppr algumas hora,dias,semanas talvez anos mas rlx ela volta n é como ela ficar apaxonada pelo o amante dado q as mulheres são mas emocionais rlx ela VOLTA PARA VC HAHAAHAHAHAHAHSH

Why even get married in the first place if you’re a guy, fuck the slut don’t marry one!!!! Keep your stuff and your money! Like the author said, it’s easy for guys to get off, women should always be secondary in a modern man’s life. This shit is ridiculous, taking away the only justification for men marrying in the first place. If you what to fuck a slut go to a prostitute and think, would I marry this women, cause that’s exactly what your wife becomes as a hot wife. Your friends and coworkers will get in line for their chance at the slut and ridicule you behind your back. Can you imagine going to one of her work events!! Oh the looks you’ll get as the resident cuck! This can all be avoided by remaining solo, the way of the 21st century man. Let women enjoy their “superior” sexual ability to lay there and let multiple partners pound away on them night after night, but not on some man’s dime. She can now support herself and live the dream life as a slut and not be dependent on a man. Alone and pitiful is the end result for almost all hot wives, good luck when hubby wakes up and finds he’s no man at all and wonders why you’re even in his bed.

I can certainly see that for many people monogamy is the preferred route. But that is quite a different matter from what the last commenter has to say. Apparently in his mind having sexual exclusivity with one woman is the ONLY reason to get married. Moreover this sexual exclusivity is something she offers because she is "on his dime." So basically he wants to pay for her sex - in effect treating her like a whore but also insisting that he control her exclusivity. What a neanderthal? What woman wants that nonsense? And why is a woman who enjoys her sexual agency "laying down to get pounded" while a man who enjoys his sexual agency is a "21st Century man"? This is just garden variety misogyny. It is not so much an argument for monogamy as it is a douche-bag who is angered by the prospect of women refusing to be treated like chattel.

The past 2 comments bring out excellent points, they really do, bitni still don't see what the point of marriage is in a non monogamous situation, because even in a monogamous one marriage already has a silent partner. The state, which decides what you get to keep and lose after the marriage, and a lot of the perks (tax and such) married people have. Why enter this agreement with someone if you aren't already completely equal. I mean... Honestly, who is buying a house in this market just so some slut wife can bang other people in it. They're A LOT of variables people aren't considering. When fantasy meets reality someone is bound to get hurt or shocked. Also I agree sexual superiority can't be just lying on your back. A man who can 2 women cum consistently is FAAAAAR superior to a when who can make even 100 men cum. CMV

That last comment is a little too incoherent for me to understand. Nevertheless, it highlights the fundamental flaw in any argument that is based upon "why bother to get married if X". We all have our unique reasons for being in a relationship and our own unique expectations of a relationship. These things are entirely personal. What other people think of our purely personal perspective is of no consequence whatsoever.

So much of what we hear from people who are so vehemently against this alternative lifestyle is rooted in their own version of how a relationship should work and the abiding beliefs that they are somehow objectively correct and represent some sort of universal truth. Meanwhile most of what they see as truth is nothing but personal opinion supported by an unwillingness to embrace any other opinion.