Slut Wife - One Woman's Guide

As an example I can say what would work for my husband. Pick a restaurant, book it and wear something that will make his jaw drop......and tell him if he wants the prize when he gets home he needs to eat my pussy before we leave the house. On the way there tell him I just got a new piercing and can't wait to show it too him. Stick to him all night like he is the most handsome man in the world.....and never pull back one millimetre because of what someone else might think. Afterwards take him to a bar or go dancing or find some live music (blues or jazz for us). Make it a whole night of foreplay. When I get home tie him to a chair, put on some raunchy music and do a striptease then insist that he pay for my services before proceeding (make him go to the ATM if he must). And when he can take no more let him fuck me bent over the kitchen counter.

This scenario is unique to my husband but notice the range of sexual pleasures I am offering to him beyond simply physical stimulation. When I showed him this description he said the best part was being ordered to lick my pussy.....not the licking itself and not being asked or offered but ordered.

On another occasion I might just buy tickets to watch his favourite team and go along dressed up like his filthy little tart. That little feast of sexuality is very pleasing for him regardless of what happens after.

Whatever works for him, but be careful here not to get caught up in gender politics. I would never let a man tell me what I am supposed to be. But it is up to me to know what the man I love enjoys and if he accepts me as I am, I am willing to do those things for him. And I will not let others tell me what is or isn't acceptable.

Put your mind to understanding what he wants and engage his whole mind, body and spirit. Forget every taboo and deny him nothing (or at least rethink your limits without regard to social norms). Make yourself his sexual goddess and provide an experience he knows he will almost certainly never find elsewhere.

No matter how much your man has learned and opened his mind along the way, accepting the full range of your sexuality requires him to address his own preconceptions and society's judgment head-on. That hurdle has been lowered and by catering to and accepting his deepest sexual desires you will have now provided the motivation for him to clear that hurdle and actively embrace a new perspective.

Step 7 - Broach the Subject of non-monogamy and make a move

Hopefully by this point your husband has come to accept your sexual superiority and has begun to make tenuous connections between that and your inevitable sexual prerogative. You have instilled in him confidence in your ability to wield and control that power. His expectations for the nature of your sexual relationship have been modified. He now understands that the things he was raised to believe to be immutable are in fact elective and quite fluid. As a result, he has been unburdened from the compulsion to control circumstances and your sexuality to adhere to society's standards.

He is ready for an alternative perspective and has most likely already contemplated it in some detail. When a man sees what you have shown him he instinctively perceives the prospect of you being with other men, he is keenly aware of the possibility and is at least curious. Chances are that all the emotions of desire, jealousy, humiliation, arousal, fear, anticipation, apprehension and titillation and more are roiling inside of him. The question is which will win out? If he has come this far you already know the answer.

Many men would likely have already raised the possibility of a swingers club or a threesome. If not, take your time and pick the moment to do it yourself. Personally, I am not a big fan of swingers clubs but they can be a great place to start. There is no pressure to pick one particular person, you start with equal access to sexual opportunities and the venue is isolated from real life and allows you to take things in several different potential directions. It is a good forum to reinforce many of the lessons you have been teaching him and demonstrate the superiority of female sexuality.

It is important at this stage more than any other to have open communication. Talk about some of the things I outlined at the beginning of this guide. Make sure you have common views and understanding and put no topic off limits.

Many people suggest establishing some parameters. Personally I think you do want to set some basic rules around common sense topics like safe sex and what to do if you see someone you know. But you can't know what you will find pleasurable or appealing in the circumstance or who you will be attracted to. You don't want to be in a position of having violated a rule due simply to your innate and involuntary feelings. For me the whole point is unfettered exploration and experimentation which is hindered by rules that are designed to pre-determine outcomes or mitigate jealousy. Remember this is just a stepping stone. Jealousy is inevitable and must be faced.

Take your time to get comfortable but make a conscious effort not to hold back to protect his ego. Interact with any man you want even if it is someone your husband doesn't seem to like - he needs to see that it is your prerogative. Be flirty and open when you feel like it and not when you don't - he needs to see that you are not driven by anyone's expectations. Present yourself in a sexual way and encourage male admiration and attention - he needs to see your power and men's desire for you. Indulge your sexual desires and let him see how much greater your sexual capacity is than his - he needs to see your sexual superiority first hand.

On this last point it may be necessary to manage the experience without letting him know that is what you are doing. If you know your husband is spent for the evening, keep fucking. Seeing you enjoy yourself with another man (or knowing it is happening in another room) at the point that he is physically unable to get it up will erase any last vestiges of denial about your sexual superiority. Yet it will be in an environment where other men are experiencing the same thing so that he can see that his sexual inferiority is not personal to him. The same concept applies to group sex. If he sees or knows of you being with multiple men he will know that he cannot replicate that experience with multiple women and internalize the sexual superiority of all women.

Although you must enjoy your sexual liberation on your own terms, keep in mind that you are teaching him for the long-term. In order to push his understanding you may need to push yourself outside your comfort zone as well - on your terms but for his learning.

When the night of swinger sex is over play it straight. Don't gush but don't deny. And whatever you do don't be patronizing or condescending. If there is any aspect of his experience that was less than stellar the last thing he needs is sympathy from you. No matter how well intended you must remember that you are his wife who just spent the evening getting fucked by other guys - he cannot separate the message from the messenger and you need to get used to that.

If you choose to engage new sexual partners through another means, make sure it is reciprocal at first, be careful who you choose and do it in stages (i.e. just Fridays nights to start) rather than a free for all. Take your time, reinforce the lessons you have been teaching him about female sexuality and try to maintain a secure but honest and challenging environment for him.

I remember one evening when my husband and I had been to a swingers club. I was already pretty wild by that time and very sexually outgoing. He usually had as many partners as he could handle (which was a lot fewer than me) but this night he seemed unusually reserved. By the time we got home he was very horny. I did not indulge in the lie that all the other men had left me unsatisfied and so I needed him. Nor did I pretend like I was doing him a favour. I just fucked him. I think that was more or less the point at which he let go of the notion that it was incumbent upon him to compete with me or fuck as many women as possible. He accepted himself as he is and started to engage each experience in the way that he enjoyed rather than the way that he thought he was supposed to enjoy.

In his case he is something of a voyeur. He still fucked other women at the club, but he found a rhythm that worked for him knowing full well I wasn't going to pack it in just because he had already blown his load. From that point forward it was clear that he and I would have different sexual outcomes because of the nature of who we are, which had nothing to do with fairness or equality.

Eventually we found the swingers club environment somewhat limiting. It was only about sex, a bit too formulaic and provided limited opportunity to have a more personal experience with only those people with whom we choose to socialize. We wanted to combine the latitude to choose the who, where and what to do flexibility of traditional social interactions with our sexual freedom. So we started socializing with other couples outside the club.

Step 8 - Open it Up

At this point you have indulged in the physical act of sex with multiple men and your husband has come to accept that reality. His potential negative reaction has been buffered by having been with other women but he sees that he is unequal. Simply by virtue of circumstance he can see that your sexual experiences will be asymmetrical and he knows not to expect equal outcomes.

But the totality of your experiences is still very much constrained by the fact that you are tethered to your husband and that you have only experienced physical intimacy with other men. The limitations of casual sex haven't changed since you were single. It can be fun but overall there is a lot of wasted time, risk and uncertainty for a physical experience that is frequently mediocre or disappointing.

As I have suggested at other stages of opening up your sex life, please stop and check your attitude. It is the circumstances that have imposed this constraint, not your husband per se. Do not resent his presence. He may be "in the way" of a greater connection with one of your other sexual partners. But It would and will be the same with any other person whose mere presence undermines the depth of connection with another. There will come a day when you want to send your lover away to be with your husband.

The true benefit of being a hot wife is being able to experience the full range of physical, emotional and mental intimacy with multiple men each of whom provide a different experience. As a woman you are uniquely able to appreciate that range of experiences and have more opportunity to do so. I am not talking about love, but I am talking about a personal connection.

Your husband will have as much or more difficulty accepting such a connection as he did the actual physical act of having sex with another man. Traditional social conventions give you the tools to first bridge this gap by establishing the reality of those one-on-one connections independent of sexual relations. Men know that if a man engages in regular one-on-one social interactions with a woman he finds attractive, he likely wants sex. Maybe it isn't a 100% chance like some men would argue......but it is at least 80%. That is why even simple non-sexual relationships with other men raise feelings of jealousy. Use those non-sexual relationships to build his acceptance then extend it to your sexual relationships.

Start taking opportunities to expand the limits of your interaction with other men. Open yourself up to or pursue opportunities for one-on-one interactions with male co-workers or other people you know socially outside the "sex scene". Make that part of your regular social interactions independent of your sexual activities Yes they do want to fuck you but that has always been the case and that doesn't oblige you to do anything. Embrace the experience, absorb that desire and feel that control. The tendency to feel uncomfortable is rooted in the compulsion to deny male sexuality or feel obliged to indulge, reject or feel threatened by it. But you have learned by now that you don't owe them anything and if you are in control you have nothing to fear.

Next, when you and your husband hook-up with other couples make a point of taking your chosen partner out of the immediate vicinity of the others for more prolonged personal interaction. If you are going to another room to fuck spend more time socializing both before and after. Have a dip in the pool together, play a game of billiards, watch something on TV or the internet - anything that makes it clear you were enjoying his company not just his cock.

When you and your husband want to get together with other couples, you make the arrangements and do it directly with the husband of the other couple. When he or other men call leave the room with the phone making it clear that there is a private conversation in process. When you have a one-on-one conversation with other men in a social setting use your body language to let others know that it is a closed conversation. If your husband intervenes change the subject and don't let him insist on being "let in" on the conversation. Let it be known that you know personal things about other men - what they like to eat when you invite a couple over for dinner, what they like you to wear when you go to the swing club, etc.

Your husband may notice these things and raise them with you. Do not be dismissive or make excuses. And don't be indignant either. Remember you are in charge. State forthrightly that these were private moments between you and the other men. You are not trying to hide anything and are not violating the parameters of your marriage and will not accept him policing those interactions. Where sexual (swing or swap) partners are involved make the point that it would be rude to preclude a personal connection and it would cheapen the experience for you.

In many ways this may be one of the most important tests of your husband's ability to accept the role of cuckold. And if you wish to truly know you must not equivocate. The first time he feels "shutout" of a personal dynamic you have with another man it may have a greater impact than when he simply sees you having sex with another. Even if for only a short period you will be putting that other man first......choosing him over your husband. It is a small rejection that will drive a large jolt of humiliation. You will quickly know if he can manage it. And if he has come this far you may be surprised to find him enjoying it to some degree. You need not be imperious but you must not bend - it will undermine your authority and, if he is enjoying being put in his place, take away from his enjoyment.

Soon you will be effectively dating from within the existing parameters of your relationship. And you will have normalized (and made undeniable) the reality that you have relationships with other men. There is a unique connection and affection separate from but not a threat to that which you share with your husband. Make sure it you apply this approach evenely so he doesn't feel neglected. If you are on a date or having private time with your husband, be just as definitive in not letting others interrupt.

From this point it is a relatively short leap to having sexual relationships with men outside of the swing/swap scene or whatever parameters exist. It is time to suggest a fully open relationship. Explain that it isn't really so different than what you have already been doing but would be less constraining and more fulfilling for both of you. The tone of the conversation should be that you are telling him what you want not asking for permission or asking what he wants. You aren't imposing this on him and he can still say it isn't what he wants. Some may see this as manipulative. I see it as leadership and it is often appreciated by those being led.

Step 9 - Take full control

If you have come this far you are already in charge. It remains to be seen whether you will remain in an open marriage or advance to hot wife/cuckold, but there is a strong chance of the latter due to your husband's fundamental nature and natural social dynamics.

Once your sexual options are truly opened up you will advance while he falls behind. Bluntly put, you will be a rare unicorn among horny stags while he will just another horny stag seeking any available female. Men will accept your terms for sex while your husband competes with every other man. In fact he will be coming from a place of weakness because whereas the absence of any long-term relationship potential is neutral to positive to your male suitors it is a drawback to the women your husband pursues. While many modern women don't need the promise of a long-term relationship to engage in a sexual relationship most are turned off by the complete absence of the possibility. Likewise men will be anxious to be as sexually adventurous as you like while many of the partners your husband is able to find will be far more restrained than you.

This disparity leads to the opportunity to take control of his sex by offering a better option. Fill in the gap that he is missing by going the extra mile to service his sexual needs. And facilitate some variety by attending the swing club or continuing "swap" get togethers with other couples. He will soon see little point in the fruitless pursuit of other women. At the same time make it clear that none of this comes with turning back the clock. You find those swing/swap experiences sub-optimal so you will do it for him. But for your own enjoyment you will continue dating as you see fit.

To solidify control over his sex connect your servicing of his sexual needs with him being available on your schedule. When my husband and I were at this stage there was one night when I had a date and he was going to watch a game with friends. He would be home by 11:00 so I wrapped up my date and got home just before that. I was waiting wearing a slutty outfit when he got home. We had great sex that night and he didn't even raise the fact that I'd had sex with another man a couple hours before. The next time I went out I very sweetly told him that it would be great if he was home when I got home. He was. And from that point onward he was more than willing to wait for me to get home from a date. He soon admitted that he much preferred to spend the evening with friends or alone with one of his hobbies than chasing other women and the fact that I took care of his needs made the option pointless. There was a basic practicality to the way I brought about and he justified accepting these new parameters. But it was clear that knowing that he was waiting his turn for my sex had a dramatic impact on his state of mind. He wasn't just accepting. He enjoyed being put in his place.

I also found that other women we knew through the swing/swap scene quite liked him and would be open to a one-on-one encounter. But they didn't want to open up the opportunity of him pursuing them just like I wouldn't want their husband's to pursue me directly because we had all found that the weaker position men find themselves in often drives more desperate behaviour which creates problems for everyone. Those women and I agreed to facilitate those opportunities for one another's husbands as long as it was under our control. For each of us it was effectively the other woman that was insisting that we control our own husband's sexual activity which eliminated any resistance from our husbands.

The quality and frequency of my husband's sex life soon became mostly under my control. If he wasn't going to make himself available at the end of my date night I would come home later or not at all. He would be forfeiting dirty, exciting, "what ever he wants" sex with me for a long shot chance at mediocre sex elsewhere. If he didn't behave himself in pursuit of our other female friends they would tell me and he would be cut-off immediately. And as any swinger knows a single guy isn't getting into the club without his wife.