All Comments on 'Snowed In'

Pretty hot, but I didn't buy some of it. The sis admits she'll fuck anything in sight. So they fall in love? She'll bone anyone soon as he's out of sight for a day! He's in for seeing her "cheat" on him first chance. The story attempted romance, but missed. Technically very good, and the seduction was nice.

In Part 2, Adam gets to fuck his mom in her tiny, stinky, asshole. Gil gets to lick his cock as it saws in and out of mom's crinkly butthole!

Loved the storyline, and totally want more with mom.

...for the comments so far.

The comment about not buying it all helps me a lot. As for the sis cheating in future - maybe. Since this went into the V-Day Contest, it had to get done quickly due to the deadline. I could continue it with subsequent scenes where Gillian and Adam progress. That way we could potentially see how it works for them - or not.

As for getting involved with Barbara (the mother)? Well, that will take a little thought and planning for the suspension of disbelief - but it's an avenue to explore (no pun) ;)

GA -- Da Nang, Vietnam -- 3rd of February 2015.

There was enough oil in the tank for heating—thank God—but for light they had to use candles. They had hot water but no fridge, although with snow waist deep outside a fridge wasn't too much of a loss.

++++++++++

I have been in Da Nang, S. Vietnam in February and there ain't no way in hell you'll ever find snow waist deep - Ruined the story right from the get go - I didn't give you very many stars.

Erm ... the paragraphs preceding the story itself are a foreword - you know what one of those is?

BTW, I'm not looking for stars, I'm more interested in feedback - as which your comment fails to qualify.

I could delete your comment, but I prefer to leave it up as testimony to stupidity.

It's patently obvious to even the feeblest intellect that GA (Geronimo Appleby) is in Da Nang right now, from whence he posted this story, on February 3rd, yesterday. He was noting it in the foreword; didn't you notice the squiggly letters, telling every other person on the planet that it's a foreword? Apparently you didn't pick up on that, probably because you're an idiot. 5 stars for the story, and three swift kicks in the ass for you for being such a waste of food.

Hell, every semi-intelligent half-tard knows he meant Vietnam County in GEORGIA! Da Nang, Georgia gets several feet of snow a year, being in the high altitudes of the Swiss Alps. In fact, I think they're hosting the winter olympics in 2030.

In the words of Napoleon Dynamite, "You IDIOT!"

Actually, a pretty good story, well-developed, and the sex scenes are hot. I'm not one to tell authors how to write, BUT (1) with Gillian being such a slut, what is the likelihood that she'll stay faithful to Adam? She may have already given him a disease. Long-term love would be great, but . . . (2) PLEASE don't get Mom in the sack with Adam and/or Gillian. Intergenerational threesomes are just awful, and what starts as a sibling twosome should stay that way. (3) The vocab sounds English, but are there places in England with that kind of weather? Maybe in Scotland; but could this be Australia or NZ? It would help to know.

I loved it. A well-paced, very hot story. You're a good writer, whose vocabulary and good grammar are a good example for others. You definitely create excellent images with your words. Many thanks.

Yes, there are indeed places in England as depicted in Snowed In. Take a look at Derbyshire in the area around Ashbourne. There are hamlets nearby that suffer just such situations. I know of one remote cottage close to a quarry, which is actually the place I had in mind when I scribbled the scene, that has experienced being cut-off for days, leading to weeks.

don't stop now tell us about mom and dadcan't wait for part four tenbears43

Five Stars!

Nice concept keep wrtting and pls continue the part of adam and gil in different place in different weather love to looking forward. Pls make gil more horny in next and pls ad some suspense so that while reading time will think what will happen next.rest all nice and thank you for writting.

1. Re: "cuprous" as in: "'Did you really fuck Alan?"' asked Adam, cuprous jealousy rising hot in his throat like bile." "Cuprous" means containing univalent copper. It is a chemistry term. Perhaps you were fishing for an adjective based on "cupidity" which derives from the Latin "cupiditas", referring to avarice, lust, rapacity…. I'm nitpicking 'cuz:

2. I appreciated page one, as it focused on the internal moral conflict, the competing passions to be good vs. following lust, the frontal lobe at war with the animal root of the brain.

3. Incest stories should be all about such stress/conflict, the battle between the desire to be good and the power of a carnal passion.

4. This story, however, retreated from this core mission, employing two standard cliches that defuse the conflict/stress and thus erase the power of the incest story.

5. Namely, A. the bad sister, the slut who has no moral conflict, who's desire is purely lustful and without worry for consequence, who seduces the morally conflicted brother/father, pushing him into the act almost against his will, thus giving him moral cover. If left to his own devices, he would have stayed on the good side. Her actions, her lust was the actual cause; he tried to control his. This not only places moral responsibility only on her shoulders, but makes her much less interesting, much less real.

6. And then, B., the second cliche: They fuck and then profess their undying love for each other, the suggestion being that they are each other's true love and that they somehow will be together forever. Thus justifying the incest - it's ok, because it wasn't just a fuck; they in fact love each other like a husband and wife. Again, this is a moral cover. Incest shouldn't be about two lovers who happen to be siblings, but between two siblings who find themselves struggling with lust for someone they are never, never to touch.

7. Why try to free the incest from its socially unacceptable state?

8. It's this very socially unacceptable state that, again, is the potential energy of incest fiction.

9. By employing these two cliches, you eviscerate the story, you gut from it the very conflict between lust and doing what's right/socially acceptable, the drama that gives such stories their force.

10. The story would have been hotter if they both struggled with lust vs. being good, if they woke up in the morning horrified yet then were fucking again by lunchtime….

...I used cuprous deliberately, to suggest the taste of the emotion.

What are you, an English teacher? Why don't you simply shut the fuck up and enjoy the damn story? It is because of fuck-headed cunts like you that the really good writers stopped submitting their work here...stupid ass bitch

Well done, so so entertaining.

Very intelligent, sexy and witty. You should write literary shit for the New Yorker.

Your improper and awkward word usage of words kills the story

because your sentence structure is pristine, eh? ha-ha!

He thinks the author's writing is 'crap' and demonstrates his expertise with this:

"Your improper and awkward word usage of words kills the story"

Talk about awkward, "word usage of words" is what if not improper and awkward? By the way, sentences end with periods. You can't put eleven words into one sentence without more than one mistake. Don't give up your day job.

amazing sexy and exciting and i love the ending

Amazing ending you should make more but this time mother and son

Don't listen to the "sideline editors". As almost any prose can be improved, such is the case with yours. But the story is VERY good. Your command of the language is admirable. I think that you have great potential as a writer.

Make chapter 4,5,6

I agree with others, you have a good storyline. You have more than enough room to continue a tail of remodeling the house and falling deeper in love.

for the back biter's -- let them show their work so we can hold it up to the light of day

Ever notice how the self proclaimed editors never sign their work -- Had a commander who was of the opinion that if you don't have the GUTS to sign your work, He didn't have the time to make an issue of the complaint.

How well written this story is is a nice surprise after sifting through unedited erotica. I like this story...makes a girl happy.

I wanted to read all of it to see where it went. Loved the idea of being snowed in. I was really expecting Mother to ask him how Gil and he got along a the end. Save that for a future chapter. You have to add more chapters and tell us how he figures out or attempts to figure out how to be with Gil.

How about some sex mixed in there the whole story builds and theres almost nothing put into the actual act of sex you just skip it like its not why were reading

Such an awesome story. The narration is fantastic, made me jack off 3 times.

Needs a sequel.

needs a few more chapters to tie up the story. We want to know if they do end up together forever.

This is one of my favorite stories. I did wish there was a follow up to let us know how things turned out.

I didn't enjoy it once Gillian went into slut mode telling Adam who she had fucked. Even though they profess their love for each other I don't see how Adam could ever trust her to be faithful to their relationship given that she admits she loves to fuck and suck.

Decent storyline spoilt by Gillian's admission.

this one begs for a sequel

This really should be made into a series, maybe just one or two more. It would be interesting to have a conversation between Adam and his mom then it leading somewhere. Please do make another

please write more of this one maybe get the parents in on it

crashed and burned when Gil admitted she was a dirty slut. You couldn't climb out of that hole no matter how you tried.

i love bro/sis love stories. it is pure love like no other. keep up the good work.

I knew his mother knew! Parents are smart like that

Thanks for a wonderful, well written, imaginative story!

If a story ever begged for a sequel. this is it...

Great story. This should be made into a series. Cuck hold dad and his friend, there only release is to use them selves or leave the family all together. Take mom and sisters friends in domination with his sister. Leave Adam with a permanent hard on and a new energy solution that he sells and make billions on.