All Comments on 'Something Wicked Ch. 02'

Whore

It was a pretty good story about a hazard of cheating that doesn't get brought up a lot in these stories, the "What if your affair partner doesn't want to end things?" hook. Of course this story takes that and ramps it up to 11, but I think you wasted an opportunity here to cook Laura a bit more by having "Zach" slowly increase his terror campaign until she breaks or Brendan found out. A good opportunity for drama, side stepped. A lot of people get very annoyed if there is ever any reconciliation in these stories because the very idea offends their delicate sensibilities, but I think it shows a lack of nuance or perhaps real life experience.

Great stoey

Yes I know it's fiction but wouldn't end up this way in real life. Most likely divorced

Superb storytelling.

To the commenter below, because only pussies and people that want a loved one to die have guns for 'protection'.

The trouble with stories like this is that if a loved one has seriously risked their life to save you thoughts of loyalty, trust and love all become quite moot. Wtf wants fidelity if that person would stand by watching you get killed because they're unwilling to risk their own to save you.

Loved the writing, hated the story. Why didn't she and her husband go get guns of their own. Whether they were anti or pro gun, in this case they needed to protect themselves from this psycho.

I never would have taken her back, she cheated far to easily. How is it all the husband's fault they didn't have sex for months prior to the bachelorette party? Then instead of confessing when she knew it was a dangerous situation, she waited until husband get a letter from psycho. Nope, no way you take her back.

Anonymous pointed out Brendan's responsibility in the wife's indiscretion. Yeah she cheated, but WTF, you don't screw the wife for 7 months before this happened???!!!???

The wife will have physical and emotional scars for the rest of her life. Some of the misogynistic readers will not think this is enough

All that said I really enjoyed how the author got inside the wife's head

Thanks for writing

Don't know if you based this off Bradbury's sci-fi title or not, but it had some of the same creepiness. Would never have taken her back. Forgive, yes for his sake as well as her's but never in a million years would I chose a person who was so wounded by cheating and yet did it anyway. She has no concept of what love is and probably never will. She was scared for what she'd loose, more than the pain she caused others. All the way through all she wanted was to feel better by everyone forgiving her. Your attempt to paint her as even marginally a victim has fallen on deaf ears. She got off so easily and Brendan has made the pathetic choice of paying the price for her slut selfishness the rest of his life. He made a bad deal, she simply isn't worth it.

By the wicked shall the wicked be punished!

ZK

Brendan:

"I know things weren't great between us. I knew we weren't having sex. We even talked about it. Do you remember?"

I sniffled and leaned against the wall. "I do."

"Just wait for me until I'm done with school. That's all I asked. Just wait. Be patient." He snickered. "What a fucking fool I was."

===> yes you were Brendan. For seven months while studying in med school you cut your wife off completely? Wtf? Commenters are harping on here about the 2 months no sex after her one night drunken stand. And that woukd alert hubby. Of course it would normally. But they hadn't had sex for 7 months prior to that. Moreover, he missed their anniversary. He didn't just see her for granted, but instead just pit her on hold. Their marriage meant shit all while he was focused on graduating. I remember working on my PhD thesis and needing to work super hard for like 4 months to land it in time, after a couple years of specific research on the topic. I still made time to have sex with my wife at least once a week. Probably. More. Sure it wasn't romantic. No time for date nights. We still snuggled and touched each other and had at least a bit of intimacy. Finally the last 2 months were insane. I needed zero distractions. I packed her off cross country to her in-laws, and I inverted my schedule working from like 4 pm to 10 am every day so virtually no humans overlapped with me. I finished, defended my exam, my wife flew in that day, we went out to a department party in my honor of friends and students, with my wife also in attendance, and then she and I made love, played in bed, and fucked like crazy for a week. Your spouse is supposed to be thr most important person in your life until kids arrive and even them, come on. His solution is 7 months of celibacy? She takes 2 months (or six weeks depending on wjwre in story) to be wooed back (and try to bury her guilt) to have sex with hubby again. Which is bigger 7 months or 2 months? Brendan was an idiot. Wife is angry from missed anniversary, feels her husband doesn't desire her, forced celibacy for 7 months, has to be aching for release at her age, drunk, and being pushed by a fucking predator, is anyone surprised she had a one night stand. To her credit she got sick afterwards, showered and left that room. Brendan is SOOO upset that she came. Wtf? After 7 months she sounded freaking restrained. If it weren't for the psycho stalker entering into their lives, any husband who pulled that shit and then wouldn't forgive her especially Ithaca all her guilt and remorseful would be an inconsiderate, pompous asshole. Not condoning cheating, but the set of circumstances were insane and a big part of it was his fault. Yeah he is a fool. He didn't just let the fox in thr hen house. He left the gates wide open, burned the fence, painted the hen house with zebra blood and wa surprised that a tiger (albeit a crazy one) came by and decided to dine on the chickens (i.e. his wife). Sure they reconcile. But therr is zero examination of his own fucked up part of this whole sordid and dangerous mess. As an aside, wouldn't a medical doctor with a knife know better how to incapacitate someone when he isn't paying attention to him? Just a stab in the gut / side? He might not have been able to cut an artery or nerve that woukd have dehabilatated Zach's arm, but he could have almost certainly stabbed in a number of places that woukd have made him incapacitated or quickly die. Like the neck? Cut the carotid? Spine? Hell even kidney on that side. Good luck aiming a gun properly.

So.mamy timing inconsistencies in this story. It IA a taut emotional thriller, but first it says has been a couple months, then six weeks. Ok no biggie. But then it says it has been 8 months since her one night stand. And it is her anniversary. Right. Except her last anniversary, the one Brendan missed because he graduated from medical school and was out drinking and smoking with buddies (wtf, your anniversary dude!) was one week before the creep Zach snagged her in the other casino. But anniversaries are every year, i.e. 12 months. Huh? And to top if off the Bachelorette party in Atlantic city is several months before the wedding? That is not typical. Well written but wow, needed some editing.

WOW, Just wow

Laura cheated just before Abigail's wedding. Then, many months later, she and Brendan go to Abigail's wedding. Was there a postponement, or did the author forget by the second chapter?

One read through, not an editor, can find this.

"I don't know why"

Is a constant mantra of reconciliation authors who don't take the time or effort to craft an honest reconciliation. Most professional councilors note that it takes 2-5 years to recover from the trauma of infidelity. Getting cheated on is one of the most devastating and damaging things that can happen in a person’s life. It can lead to emotional distress, anxiety, depression, an increase in risk-taking behavior and actual physical pain. A partner’s infidelity can even change our brain chemistry.

well written, interesting plot. A few unrealistic points but nothing too distracting, nice job!

Extremely well written.

I do have one problem with this story as well as many authors that is this.

No man worth the soldier with a brain in his head when that lack of communication lack of sex and to the siege one for more than a week or 2 without really starting to dig into the reasons why.

It's something that happened.

And if it did happen after months of that only an idiot would refuse to consider that his wife was having an affair and take measures to determine if it was sure enough.

Very few people are stupid enough to live in denial for months on end

And a little sex will fix it all. This author writes stupid, wimpy low self esteem men very well. It is so gratifying how men are viewed in general. Women's can do anything they want, and disrespect hubby, but it will all be ok after bed time. Of course, this is accurate because this is the direction society is moving. In a few decades or less, we will have only willing cucks, or single men. The rate of marriage is dropping and women everywhere are bitching about the lack of men willing to commit. Well after decades of toxic feminism, they are getting the results, just maybe not what was planned. We are now in the midst of of a coordinated marketing campaign to further subjugate men,and make ducking mainstream and acceptable. Welcome to the new society.

I know it happens in some marriages, but I could not let it go for more than a week, if that long, and not confront my wife about why we weren't having sex, much less 9 months... there isn't much of a chance this marriage will last much longer no matter how close the drama pulled them back together... the excitement of the drama, like the marriage will wear off soon enough and reality will rear its unyielding head unless they get help... even then, the odds are slim.

Excellently written.

Why does everyone always forget that bad news never gets better with age. A swift confession leads to swifter consequences and quicker resolution.

Could easily be made into a movie!

A wonderful cautionary tale! 5*

no issue with RAAC

this is one of the better ones anyway

But what irkes me is the part/scene where she is able to move back in the house.

From the readers POV it may be understandable but since the husband didn´t know what we do (Zach realy waiting for her)...

I tried to imagine "my cheating spouse bursting into the house calling my name and crying saying the psycho waited for her and being concerned about my saftey"

... since crying and being sorry are cheater 101 behavior (sincere- like in this case or not), as is lying.... Would I trust her so quickly and without doubt that after her weeks and weeks of silence about the cheating followed by months (?) of separation to simply say "okay why not"? Why would/should he change his opinion about her moving back because of this outburst, could it not also be an act of desperation to come back?

I think a couple of more sentences could have made the transition smoother?

Anyway she got what she deserved, there was charakter developement followed an good climax and the reconciliation. All in all well and solid executed!

A brilliantly crafted tale of unforseen repercussions and the strength and understanding that can be derived from wounds.

LA

You are truly amazing!

Such a masterfuly crafted story, told in such a clear and almost visceral way that I could envision it happening before my eyes.

What an incredible, well-written story... I couldn't stop reading until I was completed the series... 5 Stars...

Well crafted story. You are a skilled writer, had me on the edge of my seat for an hour. That is hard to do. As for the plot and ending.? Two things. My vows said “ for better or worse” and I believe it takes a big person to forgive and a stupid one to forget.

A good story that demonstrates that true love can conquer all problems. Those pathetic scum who criticise stories like this that have a happy ending have no idea what true love is like and they should keep living in their parents basement cause no one will ever want them.

something doesnt sit right with me with this i normally like these stories and not the ones where either goes over the top but i think she was forgiven too easily if the guy wasnt a psycho she would of had no consequences as her husband just forgave her

She admits in the final paragraph that she’s still a cheating whore and a skank and yet were supposed to be glad the cuck puts up with her? Not a chance

And another writer joins the cuck shit brigade. Thee woman gets brainlessly seduced and poor hubby cannot control his feelings so the wife wins, he is a wimpy cuck, and all is right with the world. Last few paragraphs were priceless, the hubby is wrong agin, it is all his fault. Blah

I'm stepping out of my usual genre into LW. Came across this story, having read it I thought it was very good. I have read/partially read some other cheating wives stories in the LW category and found quite a few of them disappointing because they don't always look at the cheating from the cheaters perspective.

This story had me interested as it came from the cheaters perspective but also had some drama in it with a psychotic stalker.

I found myself sympathising with Laura she was in a marriage that had started to fall apart and was literally caught of guard by Zach. He had obviously targeted her at her sister's wedding reception and perhaps even earlier.

She felt immense guilt and probably would have owned up to Brendan about her cheating.

The author does well to convey the emotional turmoil and fear that Laura goes through and I'm glad that she and Brendan were able to overcome the event and get back together again. Had this been real life it would take a long time for Brendan to fully trust Laura again and would in the early years put considerable strain on their marriage.

and not bad, but imperfect american english. ridiculous use of "of off" instead of "on". just one sample: "Based off of the dark and intense looks he gave me". +, many other instances of unnecessary, superfluous "ofs" throughout. i just can't ignore the use of sloppy 'murrican speech in the written word. her talent can surely override those bad habits, but hasn't so far. still hope...

She caused it all with her decision. Forgive then leave.

Until person goes down they are a threat. Keep shooting till they stop moving. A handgun rarely stops a person with one shot.

Other than that the story was terrible. For better for worse allows cheating? That is a new one.

Even at the end, everything was about her. I this, and I that, even the hurt she caused Brandon, makes her sound like a martyr. She was and still is narcissistic, and because cheater will always cheat, sooner or later she will find or invent an excuse to cheat.

I’m glad I did.

Thank you for sharing this.

It is an honest portrait of betrayal, crushing guilt and human reaction.

So she consciously chose her path.

Wanted a little on the side.

Tired of just vibrator

Mad at spouse

Etc

Decisions are made

No

Drunk or drugged not really capable of making informed decision otherwise stupidity.

I just don't buy the " I don't know why I did it" that a lot of writers put in their stories. If you cheat there is a reason, call it. Clothes don't just fall off and dicks don't get inserted for NO REASON. Man up and tell it like it is!

I read 'blurry vision' and the situation was kind of similar except it was a guy who strayed and in your story, it was completely okay to vilify him and absolutely ruin his life. I can only assume that that is because you are a girl and somehow you think that morally you are superior.

When this writer isn’t doing appalling foursomes, she’s as good as there is.

Nice effort from the Girl. One sneaky problem here that lurks and lurks is the constant drama dripping off every moment. The hand wringing is very well wrung and wrought :))

The cheater gal spends soooooo much time basting in her own juices that by the time she gets her naughty pounding in the hotel room it ends up working against her redemption (in the mind of this drama skeptical high-T reader).

Yes, she DOES say she doesn't know why she did it, but she is perfectly self concious every second that brings her into that hotel room. She is a live wire. The point is, had she been more breezy, more devil may care, etc, a better case could be made that she "made a mistake".

But she didn't make a "mistake". She did just like mommy and daddy had done, despite the role reversal. Her palpably fucked up childhood, her boiling-bunny childhood metastasized in her drama lovin' girl soul and basically called the shots of her own destruction. Hey guys...run away, run away!

The hubby is a piece of work. Not only is his own DNA pickled in girly drama, but he also thinks you can go months and months...and months without taking wifey to drilltown. Whatever you do, Girl, forgodsakes do NOT give us the back story on him. He is damaged meat through and through.

Sometimes you just gotta slap the bitch and move on.

...nice variant on the risks of unsafe extra-marital sex.

Are all this authors stories cuck shit woulda not taken her back cheated because she could then he almost died ya when I kicked her out would’ve been it Zach could have her

Especially if you have plenty of time. A fresh unstained relationship is better to weather the problems that also come along.

"I don't know why" is annoying and something most people will accept.

In the scenario where Brendan stabs Zach, it reinforces my belief that ALL young adults need to have a year or so of military basic training, plus weekend drills. Or, at least, have to write a paper on the expanded implications of the airlines’ reminders that, if the oxygen masks drop down, you put YOUR mask on first, then assist others. Zach was hurt by the knife, then Hubby turned to Sweetie. He should have neutralized the scene first, then dealt with lower priority issues. Not necessarily by killing Zach (not necessarily not, either) but by making SURE Zach could do no more harm! Kinda surprising that a practicing physician would not realize that a motivated psycho might be able to overcome severe pain.

Otherwise a scary and different take on a one-night standwith a stranger. You probably know what your motive and investment is, but have NO idea about the other party’s issue might be. AIDS-Andy (the male flight attendent whose early spread of HIV was so devastating) fully intended to punish as many other gay guys as possible, as a misguided solution for his own situation.

Always a pleasure (tho’ oft depressing) to read GITM. Even her clinkers are pretty good.

5*

Unless you're in an arranged marriage to bring peace between two countries. I think he stayed because of exhaustion and not bothering to move on. She did it out of guilt or whatever. I agree, it will probably get worse. Thing is, cheating is about as fair as murder, so in the end, gotta suck it up or leave. Between, isn't good. But it seems set up to happen again since they don't seem to be very interested in each other that way...maybe I just missed it.

I think the story lingered too much past reconciliation...which isn't necessary a harsh judgment, it's just that it was built up over story and real time, that eventually it needs to end. Maybe by half a page.

And the erotica written in the first part was great, you should focus on that and make it even better. Most erotica here (revenge, consequences, etc) is about dicks and pounding (maybe such a callous approach and being cheated on are correlated, but sometimes inversely as you always have that wife that thought the hatefucks were love), not desire/conflict and what's basically an outline filed in with enough to drive the plot, but not like watching your parents having sex. You focused on the things that really get a person titilated, like a brush or touch or a certain move, the subtle things that make you lose your mind in anticipation.

Oh, and after reading a britease story, the first page at most, I started to develop a phobia about violent forced submission while the husband does nothing, not even whistling for those guys with the billy clubs. I'm very glad you kept that part of the plot clean and quick.

but, its just a matter of time until the erosion is complete. In order to prevent the past you have to learn from it and move on. She is constantly dwelling on what she did and feels like she deserves all that she has to endure. While this is justified she has not let it go. It will continue to eat at her until she does something self destructive and brandon leaves her. Even though her actions caused the problems continually feeling like she is a victim of her actions and not forgiving herself and moving on will cause a repeat.

THIS IS THE 1st STORY OF YOURS IVE READ,DEFINITELY WONT BE THE LAST , AFTER HER AFFAIR I THOUGHT BTB THEN AS THE STORY UNFOLDED IN A WAY I WASNT EXPECTING SO RATHER THAN A NORMAL LOVING WIVES IT BECAME MORE LIKE A PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLER, EXPERTLY WRITTEN, JUST 5*****.

I'd of divorced her as-soon-as I found out she cheated on me. Let her deal with Zach and his craziness.

I read your story because of the title. I had no trouble "seeing" the scenes and characters you crafted... a tribute to your storytelling skill. The story of a woman who made a very human mistake in judgement... not sure she'll ever know just why. The stalking accidental lover added a little of Steven King to the story. It could be seen as a cautionary tale, just as the movie you mentioned, "Fatal Attraction," scared the living crap out of every married man in America!

Don't worry about the Anonymous writers (I mean the other Anonymous writers), I am giving you a '5' for the effort. It was sexy, and I liked the 'noir' element of the story. I am just finishing a novel, but I will try to read some of the rest of your stories...

I like your style, GirlintheMoon!

M...142

Finished the story in a way that matched the tone of the first part. You brought it to an ending that is very much like what real people would do. Thank you.

I know the moronymous jackals will foam and snarl but they are morons. Don't let them change your voice!

A very well crafted piece of writing. *****

Meant to hit 5. Hate howmyou cannot redo it. Great work as always.

Thanks, I enjoyed it!

Had Zach been just a one time fling and Brenden found out about it, I could see the outcome going either way. Knowing this author, they would have reconciled.

But the stalking, dangerous Zach puts an interesting twist to the story. Whether the author intended it or not, most men would instinctively feel compelled to protect this woman regardless of their relationship. I suspect that Brendan is struggling with his duty as protector of the home and his revulsion at his wife's betrayal.

The emotional bonding between them in the life threatening last scene with each willing to sacrifice for the other throughs the balance to reconciliation.

Without the stalking angle I'd walk away from her.

The author's storytelling skill can not be denied whether you like her biases or not.

What you said is obviously praise for GITM's writing capability, but I do think the "potential" has been realised. She is among the super-competent.

Lue

Please keep writing you show so much potential I can't wait to see how you develop. Thank you.

Don't waste our time reading all these comments. You've got your mojo--spend the time writing--please.

No no silly, marriage is like baseball. Three strikes and You're out!

Sweet you can pick and choose which to keep. Disregard forsake all others(or any variant that says to be faithful)? No sweat just remind your spouse that your Vows also say For better, for worse! How awesome is that built-in get out of jail free card! Cause you know its not like marriage is anything like a contract where if any intelligent person would see as void if the other party violated any part of the contract.

RAAC stories on this site. Not surprised how this ended with RAAC considering all the author past stories. I mean seriously how can anyone not want to stay w/ a person that has betrayed you and brought a psycho on your doorstep?

My issue isn't so much that he/they didn't further attack Zach, but that they didn't simply get the fuck out of there!

Very nice wrap up. My one quibble is the fight with Zach- the husband stabbed him once in the side then decided to dialogue. In reality, when your family is threatened, people go postal- you grab and pull and tear and destroy, you don’t say “okay, now it’s your turn, sir, do your worst!” Other than letting Zach run around all diabolical, this was a good ending. Lots of bitter remorse and a damaged couple, though. Hard to believe they didn’t reconnect physically for so long. The physical connection is the easy part, the trust comes later.

I thoroughly enjoyed the story. You are a gifted story teller and writer. I would have enjoyed a longer rendition of the final scene. Maybe some explanation as to Zach’s motivation. That was the climax of the tale after all. That being said, still a great read. 5 out of 5 for sure.

Theakston

Less emotional that the first part but more rational and practically minded, especially in the husband's approach to forgiveness and reconciliation. It was made possible only due to his twofold acceptance of her genuine remorse and conrtite apology and the understanding that forgiveness would free him also.

Forgiveness isn't owed or even free, although it is a gift. There seem woefully few LW stories that comprehend this fact. GitM obviously gets it.

This deserves bookmarking if only for being one of the rarities here, not being a RAAC but a Reconciliation At Some Cost.

Great Job.

I think GITM caught a very deep vein of emotion,the wife who cheats isn't a slut,she is someone in a relationship that is under strain, and falls prey to the moment and does something she shouldn't and feels the weight of what she did,which is the sign of a decent person who know they screwed up. The husband reacts the way many men would but also I think realized that he had a part in this,that he may have assumed because he was in med school his marriage could take second place...and working a job that is long hours and stressful and intrudes into my life,it is too easy to rationalize the impact and expect those around us to understand,to play 2nd fiddle 'until it calms down',which is really expecting others to play 2nd fiddle always. Hubby loves her,but knowing a psycho is stalking her, he dumps her,letting his hurt override what he would do as a decent man,make sure she was okay,since he still loves her whether he can forgive her or not...

In the end they reconcile but it is different,less passionate but in other ways closer,and that is realistic for these things.

@anon a body shot is not unreslistic,people who talk about shooting the head or worse "shooting the gun out of his hand" have never shot a handgun. The torso is the largest area of the body and bc of the organs and blood vessels is a much better target to neutralize someone.

As far as why the hubby,a med student, 'doesn't know how to immobilize Zach with a knife",knowing physiology flies out the window when confronted like this,fight or flight overrides thinking. Not to mention as a decent person and also someone training as a doctor you hesitate to take life,it is why criminals often shoot someone who is armed trying to protect themselves,the criminal doesn't hesitate, a normal person will (it is why military people are trained the way they are,to try and make sure they won't hesitate).

Great writing overall

GITM is a great writer, no question about that. The rush of emotions in chapter 1 was truly an amazing thing to behold. I didn't quite see ch. 2 going this way, but I'm glad she did something different with it. The reason this is a 4 star story for me, instead of 5, is that the ending was way too rushed. While well-written, we spent too much time on the guilt wallowing and not enough time in the final piece of the story, Zach showing up. Too short, not descriptively written, in my mind. But I liked all the rest of it.

FYI, virtually all LEOs and military personnel are taught to aim for the center of body mass (i.e., the vital organs like heart and lungs) and fire at least two rounds. Thus the officer shooting him in the heart is not only possible, but likely....

Yes, I'm retired military, and that training was drilled into me on every trip to the range and "shoot/don't shoot" scenario for a couple of decades.

It bothers me a little that there is no explanation for Zach's behavior, but that is to be expected with a story told completely from Laura's perspective. Well done.

Excellent ending.....

"It's not like she's the life of parties and fucked a close friend. People are human. We all make mistakes. This clearly was a mistake." - Excellent point! I have to admit that I hadn't really thought of it that way, maybe I was too busy nitpicking!

As you say, it was an out of character, one-time slip, most likely never to be repeated. Count me more firmly in the reconciliation camp.

Nice job. Score still isn't high enough.

Nicely told story. Nice length. I went back and read all your loving wives stories and I an impressed with your writings. Glad to see you continue to write.

I didn’t see the lack of character development or explanation for his behavior as a weakness, but appropriate for what the wife, as the story narrator, actually knew about him. This was a story strength, not a weakness.

Having him killed avoids the third chapter, what happens when he gets out of jail in 15 years.

You are very good... Very good indeed...

-jaye-

I like the way this worked out. Zach is exactly as much a horror show as I'd imagined from chapter one, which fit the story perfectly. There are going to be plenty of people who comment with vitriol and hate, but I like the redemption at the end. I also like the fact Laura's error, no matter how much she regrets it will always be there, like a scar on her marriage. That rings true to me. Like a recovering alcoholic, drug addict or gambling addict, for Laura and Brendan the indiscretion will always be somewhere in their minds with the knowledge that not slipping back into the conditions that led to it in the first place will take constant vigilance.

A very compelling story. The way you painted Laura's mood at the beginning of the story made her fall believable, even as we hoped it wouldn't happen. Neither she nor Brendan is a paragon, and they both grow through the tale. They're both flawed people who want to become better. I find myself rooting for them. As for symbols: for me, Zach symbolised the evil that Laura allowed into their marriage, becoming more malignant until he's finally driven out.

All right, there were some lapses about time. The best stories are driven by characters, and you are second to none in creating and growing them for us. Thank you for posting this tale.

But I found the characters to be virtually the same as many of the characters in GirlintheMoon stories, especially the husband. I found myself not really liking the woman. But, really, I never do. The main issue I had with character authenticity was the decision she made to sleep with someone not her husband, after a lengthy abstinence, in Atlantic City of all places. Yuck!!

I mean, I get the notion of having an "out of her mind" episode, but the ease with which she went to the young guy's hotel room seemed unnatural and the dialog and turmoil she experience during and after the sex just seemed boilerplate.

The guy's character was technically correct, but not really inspiring. He loved her, which was his only real characteristic, that and getting drunk. Not really a likeable or admirable character. I mean, he was unable to get a license plate number after recognizing the person driving the car?? Not really believable, like a lot of the logistical substance of the story, but I guess it did advance the plot.

This was a typical GirlintheMoon story, woman strays from her marriage to no good end and mostly because she has the opportunity. Bare bones husband loves her and takes her back or doesn't? I'll probably re-read this story and have a completely different take. But that's a testimony to GirlintheMoon's captivating talent. Thanks for the good read Girl!!

Sorry to take more time, but I feel the wife actually deserved to be forgiven because the act was so out of character. It's not like she's the life of parties and fucked a close friend. People are human. We all make mistakes. This clearly was a mistake. So, if you really love a person, you have to forgive a single mistake--if you're a person who believes in being moral and just.

Seems like one of the mysteries in this tale was the identity of Zach. Unless I'm missing something, the story closed without telling us who Zach really was and why he turned out to be such a monster.

Someone has to die or got to jail.

To truly be able to forgive & move forward someone involved is usually nearly killed or raped.

Even in this story the guy Zach persisted after she said no, I shouldn't. A really good lawyer could get a rape conviction on that and her being drunk & not being able to defend herself.

But, as with all stories; nothing is ever the same once innosense is lost.

Very outstanding story. Others have said just about every nice thing that could be said about a story, but I still want to tell you thanks for letting us read this one for free. I have to agree with—I think it was Joe—who said you should be getting paid for your work. I, for one, have paid $1 and $4 many times to read Kindle books that’s not nearly as good as this and have been collecting royalties several years on stories that couldn’t compare to this. If you haven’t taken the plunge, I urge you to give it a try. If you need help getting it posted, I and I’m sure others reading you, can put you on to resources that will make the first time easier.

Once again, GOOD LUCK AND KEEP ON WRITING! cd

The cop shoots him through the heart. Please !!!

could that be a hidden conscience, TK U MLJ LV NV

I have read some of your stories in the past, but this one put you on my Favorite Authors list. I believe I will go back and re-visit your other writings. When the Elite of Lit. are commenting on how good you are you can bet you have reached into a world of erotic writing many can not. Good For You!!! Just as a side note I didn't see any mistakes in grammar and such. Well Done. I like your name to as I know who the "Girl in the Moon" is. May be different a reason for you. We all have our names and stories behind them. Thanks again.

Chrissie

TBC

It was a dead marriage until she cheated and then concentrated on marriage. The stalker was well written as this evil over the marriage. Well done amd write more!!!!!

You have the royalty of Literotica out commenting on your story. Blackrandl1958, Cpete, Hardaysknight, just those three, or any one of them would be enough to show how good you are. But there's more. Todd172, Stev2244, Amischeifmaker, Oshaw, LaRascasse, even people I usually think of as having really bad taste, like Luedon and ReedRichards think you're a great writer. If Randi, HDK, Cpete and Oshaw think you're special, you can take that to the bank, but you already know that.

The only sour note is Swingerjoe. He can't even give anyone a compliment without taking a swipe at somebody. I've noticed a lot of the good writers just delete his comments. I wish a lot more would. Thanks for allowing anonymous comments.

Is that things like this happen. Dark. You do a very good job of describing the frustration, and fear of dealing with a stalker, and involving the law. These are things people do not think about when making a truly stupid decision. 5*

Excellent story.

. . . are compelling. You don't need to be told how intense (and wonderful) your stories are, but this one was particularly frightening. Yes, it was depressing, but your writing is full of lessons and caution (does that make sense?). You never cease to amaze, and your stories provoke emotions that don't disappear so easily. You always seem to remind me how valuable my marriage (and our faithfulness) is to me and my wife. Your stories, and this one, are very much appreciated. You are one of the best on this site, for sure, and I want to sincerely thank you for your participation. Looking forward to the next one - they never come soon enough. Then again, I need time to get over the emotional trauma that I experience. 5 easy stars.

On the other hand, I can't really see any other way of ending it if the ending had to be based on reconciliation, so I shouldn't really complain. Perhaps chapter 1 boxed in the options too tightly?

Others can quibble about the plot holes and other oopsies, but this is definitely a fine page-turner of a story!

That being said, Laura DOES seem a tad stupid to run off with some stranger who hits on her in a noisy bar -- whether unhappy with hubby or not. And her heels DO seem a tad round when she decides almost immediately to fuck him, consequences be damned.

Thanks for another notable contribution to the "Fatal Attraction" sub-genre of LW. It's always a good day when one of my favorite authors drops another story here! ;-)

Not glamorized like some other story. Simple, concise and to the point. The build up to Zach's obsession was creepy and kept the reader on tenterhooks as to what was coming next. Good to have a happy ending and more importantly, a plausible ending.

5 stars again.

Once again, Girlinthemoon proved why she belongs in the top echelon of authors. The way she ramped up the suspense was nothing short of Hitchcockian drama. Thank you, GITM for your incredibly powerful story.

oshaw

I don't believe @GirlintheMoon tried to show some readers in this story...Why? This is a too good story for that...Part 2 was a growing of emotions and suspense, what turns this story into a very good one...Those who could picture Zack as some kind of readers, maybe they were looking themselves in a mirror when they were writing the comment...This story and @GirlintheMoon, didn't deserved those comments...4*

Excellent story. In terms of plot, if feel sorry for the husband - he paid an awful price for his wife's indiscretion. Wife did as well, of course. Writing is excellent as always from this author.

I just wish there were a few more like you on this site!

I saw what you tried to do there. You tried to be clever, but came up short, didn't you? It's okay. At least you tried.

"Did you really think there would be no consequences to what happened between us?...I just want to make you pay...For being a lying, thieving, worthless cunt."

Yep, that sounds like every BTB fan I've ever read. Spot-on, actually.

In this two parter and plenty to enjoy. Laura is a well conceived protagonist who made a very poor decision. But the plot is driven by a stalker who is never really revealed. His motives, as they would probably manifest in real life, remain pure conjecture. It would be nice to know what fuels his rage but its even creepier to be left in the dark.

The final scene was rushed and disjointed as one moment Laura is helpless, the next hubby is brandishing a knife and then shots are going off and the fuzz are coming in the door spraying hot lead.

The build up was great. Time plays tricks and lets us relax from threats. It would be fun to explore what the stalker had been doing during this time. The police investigation after the shooting could flesh this out.

Another great tale Moon Unit. They are always appreciated.

Who is Zach? Think about it. He is so dedicated to the idea of forcing a wife to cheat--to a violent and murderous extent.-- that he purposely seduced a married woman for the sole intent of stalking her and her husband to destroy the sanctity of a marriage. And he continues to stalk them for months-- or longer.

What type of psychopath is he? How fucked up must he be to despise marriage so much that he ruthlessly interferes with a couple struggling to forgive and reconcile with one another and the only end result is cheating and murder by an advocate of illicit sex?

The answer is staring right in our face: Zach is the embodiment of every creampie eating cuckold fan! Brilliant!!

Thank you, GITM for your superb tale of reconciliation and saving us from the ocean of untalented wife sharing cuckold lovers hacks like swingerjoe. For you to share your talent in this mindless stream of cuckold stroke stories that only excites the idiots like swingerjoe with the homoerotic fantasy of sucking dicks after screwing his wife. Trust me, swingerjoe and his ilk are really not worthy.