All Comments on 'Songbird - The Awakening Ch. 01'

A story in the shadowrun universe that focuses on the magic aspects of that world? Yes please, sign me the heck up!

My title A Demon's Lust is now a paperback. A less edited version is available on here.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1546502157/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1521703549&sr=8-3&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=a+demons+lust&dpPl=1&dpID=41kFyOp-wFL&ref=plSrch

Nice writing and an interesting concept. I’m really looking forward to reading more about Song.

TTFN,

Mollgan

Nice cast of characters. Chapter One needs more Sex. I don’t just mean spank material. (But that would be nice too.) What is the sexual relationship of the team? Who is attractive? Who is the horn-dog? Who is so consumed with Work, they have no time for Sex? Who is asexual or bisexual? Who is gay? Who is homophobic? Any magiphobes or technophobes? Technophiles or Robot-Fuckers? Are Techies natural attracted to Mages and vis versa? Opposites attract? Or do they repulse each other?

Are any of them paired (within or outside the team)? You need a baseline, a backstory on Song’s sex-life, so we know what sort of experience she’s bringing into the story. Was she sheltered and protected from relationships? Is she a Free-Spirit/Free-Love Wild-Child?

Song’s Mother’s Secretary/Nanny should have disappeared (or been spirited away) when her mother died, unless the Spirit wasn’t bound to Song’s Mother at all, and was actually bound to Song instead!

This story seems to be leaning toward a sexual/romantic relationship between Song and Ember. That makes sense. It also makes sense for Magic Users to regularly summon Sexual Playthings/Slaves, and sometimes/rarely fall in love with them. This is probably a huge taboo, a sexual harassment worse than incest. Sex with a Slave is Rape! Song’s Nanny/Secretary-Spirit, could he/she/it have been her mother’s lover? Could he/she/it also be Song’s true Father? Song’s natural and untrained magical abilities could be because she’s a Human/Spirit Hybrid, a demigod of sorts.