Songbird - The Awakening Ch. 01

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"Vedi? È venuto! Io non gli..." I stepped back into the falling water and let it rinse the lather from my hair, closing my eyes so a not to get soap in them.

I heard a strange hiss, like water hitting something hot. Then a warm hand touched my cheek. I gasped, going stiff all over, afraid to open my eyes. Then I heard Ember's voice. "Please," he whispered, running his hands through my hair. "Please, keep singing."

As a general rule, naked bodies meant nothing to spirits, and few really understood metahuman nudity taboos. Some didn't realize such taboos existed until they'd upset someone. Ember was not here to oogle me, and would likely not understand if I accused him of doing so.

"Please," Ember begged, his voice so soft I could barely hear it. "Please, I'll do anything you want. Just keep singing."

I opened my eyes. Ember stood before me, fully clothed, and, despite the shower's spray, completely dry. Any water that hit him hissed away into steam. His red hair had been replaced by flickering flames, and his brown eyes were opened wide is awe and desperation.

I took a deep breath. "Mi metto..."

Ember closed his eyes, a look of absolute bliss on his face. I saw his lips form the word "Beautiful."

I continued to sing, all shyness forgotten in the face of such platonic admiration. I had a good voice, and my mother had paid for expensive singing lessons to train me to use it. She had considered it an exercise in discipline and self control, and had been upset, to say the least, when I'd expressed desire to become a professional singer. After that, I'd been forbidden to perform in public. Now she was dead, but my career as a singer was still denied to me. Drawing that much attention to myself wouldn't be safe.

When I finished Madame Butterfly's aria, Ember sighed. "That was beautiful."

I smiled. "Thank you. I've got a good voice. Now, would you mind getting out of the shower so I can finish washing?"

Ember shook his head. "There was more to that than a good voice! You have power."

I looked down, embarrassed by his praise. "It's just good singing, Ember. I mean, it's certainly very pretty, but-"

"It was not just pretty," Ember interrupted me. "It was magic."

I blushed. "Thanks. Please let me finish my shower."

Ember opened his mouth, closed it, sighed in frustration, and left. I finished cleaning myself in silence.

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GrantLeeStoneGrantLeeStoneabout 5 years ago
Great start!

Nice cast of characters. Chapter One needs more Sex. I don’t just mean spank material. (But that would be nice too.) What is the sexual relationship of the team? Who is attractive? Who is the horn-dog? Who is so consumed with Work, they have no time for Sex? Who is asexual or bisexual? Who is gay? Who is homophobic? Any magiphobes or technophobes? Technophiles or Robot-Fuckers? Are Techies natural attracted to Mages and vis versa? Opposites attract? Or do they repulse each other?

Are any of them paired (within or outside the team)? You need a baseline, a backstory on Song’s sex-life, so we know what sort of experience she’s bringing into the story. Was she sheltered and protected from relationships? Is she a Free-Spirit/Free-Love Wild-Child?

Song’s Mother’s Secretary/Nanny should have disappeared (or been spirited away) when her mother died, unless the Spirit wasn’t bound to Song’s Mother at all, and was actually bound to Song instead!

This story seems to be leaning toward a sexual/romantic relationship between Song and Ember. That makes sense. It also makes sense for Magic Users to regularly summon Sexual Playthings/Slaves, and sometimes/rarely fall in love with them. This is probably a huge taboo, a sexual harassment worse than incest. Sex with a Slave is Rape! Song’s Nanny/Secretary-Spirit, could he/she/it have been her mother’s lover? Could he/she/it also be Song’s true Father? Song’s natural and untrained magical abilities could be because she’s a Human/Spirit Hybrid, a demigod of sorts.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Interesting

Nice writing and an interesting concept. I’m really looking forward to reading more about Song.

TTFN,

Mollgan

charmscalecharmscaleabout 6 years agoAuthor
A Demon's Lust

My title A Demon's Lust is now a paperback. A less edited version is available on here.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1546502157/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1521703549&sr=8-3&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=a+demons+lust&dpPl=1&dpID=41kFyOp-wFL&ref=plSrch

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago

A story in the shadowrun universe that focuses on the magic aspects of that world? Yes please, sign me the heck up!

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