All Comments on 'Sorority Pledge Ch. 02'

Good writing.

Hopes for more to the story

It has intrigue...awesome sex...panache...mystery...so much to savor...waiting for the next installment!!!!

Really good writing and an interesting turn of events. I hope you'll continue to write follow-up episodes of this still evolving story.

But please do all of your readers a favour - even if it sounds a lot like a grammar nazi:

Please make use of an editor: especially for your use of "your" and "you are". I'm - as someone can easily notice - no native speaker of the English language either, but even for me it is simply agonising to recognise such ludicrous mistakes.

Apart from that, this could still be a marvellous tale to be continued.

Was glued to the screen reading it...Love the twists and turns its taking so far..

Please continue with this story line.. Maybe perhaps He can be Hillary's dad and Samual can be Peters Dad. That would be a twist...

Keep up the good work..

This story is running in XNXX,COM under the name Truckin.

I guarantee I wrote every word. Then I read it through 3 times making sure it flowed well. 2 sites 2 different audiences.

Peter did what he thought was right when he realized his feelings in high school. Got the same treatment from both mom and dad. And is now getting penalized for it from both her and Nate. Nice.

Fairly well written. Good sex. But that one point irritated me. I sure hope you do not have him turning into a greedy person, that would be a shame.

Val

I hope #3 is out very soon. Excelent story telling and just cant wait to see dad? uncle? One thing for sure I want to see the money hungry bitch mother/sister get cut down to size. ty/ bill

By the start of page 2 I was done with this story. To think that Hillary would prostitute herself for a bunch of sorority bitches is beyond ridiculous. She has fallen completely in love with her brother and wants to spend the rest of her life as his lover and partner. Why would she not simply quit the sorority and get an apartment with her brother? While I stopped reading at that point, logic would make the prostitution out of the question. How does one profess undying love and then quickly turn around and defile that love?

Pretty much what LancerInLA said. Didn't sit well. Turns out that because a dying uncle bid sooo much money for her -money that incidentally meant little to him, she felt it was ok to whore herself out??? After all that effort in setting up the true love aspect of the story?!? Plausibility was cut a little thin there... remember, you already set her up as reasonably privileged anyway.

In my opinion anyway, the writing needs to be either hot porno action or erotic story telling. Mixing the two doesn't really work well. In this instance anyway...

I could have left it a love affair between Hillary and Peter and in turn bored the reader. From the first chapter I thought I established that Hillary isn't a saint. Also, remember that she wasn't going to do jack without Peter's approval. It looks like you need to hit the button for romance stories. I have one of those you might like.

I don't understand what the other commenters are complaining about! Finally, here's a story that is more than a cookie cutter jerkoff story, with a plot and interesting character development!! Ghost hunter, please don't listen to them and continue this story. It's wonderful!!

Great writing. Even more incest. Would be interesting if Peter is won by his mother in a mutual masked bidding as part of another charity auction and he reveals that he knows that she fucked both of her brothers and that he could be their sons, after he fucked his own bitch of a mother. Of course that would be after Hillary tells him of their family's incestuous past.

A different twist would be for him to somehow end up fucking his father's sister and find out that incest happened on both sides of their family.

On page two or three, Hillary was topless after her blouse came off, having chosen not to wear a bra for the auction -- opting for a vest over her blouse, but on page four she was snapping her bra back on as she was getting dressed the next morning. That type of mistake causes an interruption in the flow. Also, you do need to know the difference between "your" and "you're" when using them. Great story, but you need to spend a little more time proofreading -- maybe read it out loud to yourself -- before submission. Intrigued to see how this story develops.

I think you did great. A twist I never saw coming and I think it is great! Can not wait for the next chapter. Keep it up

Usually incest carries the day, but you developed quite readable story here. I was as interested in finding out who she was fucking as how she was fucking. Although in both situations I already had a pretty good idea who they were it was interesting how you allowed that to unfold. It is a good bit of writting with the right amount of detail build a credible backdrop for the story to evolve in. I've particularly enjoyed it and look forward to the next installment. Thank you for sharing with us.

It wasn't just made once. I saw it three times.

Loving this story.