All Comments on 'Sovereignty Ch. 08'

What is the great secret of Hopix that is so afraid to reveal Alan?

Have they declared they love to each other, then, why she are afraid? For losing her Fairixies status perhaps?

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

This is a great original story, but it could be so much better. Some areas feel rushed, especially with so many sentences run together. I would consider running your stories through an editor (there are many on lit who would be glad to help) before submitting them to lit so you can get proper feedback.

But please do something about your writing. It is getting sloppy and becoming unreadable. At least proof read it yourself before issuing. I even offer to help, I like your story so much.

I can't read anymore, it's like reading a different language, way too corny as well.

5 stars.