All Comments on 'Sovereignty Ch. 10'

I have been following your series & it's a great concept. However, I feel that it lacks substance in the details...the fights, Alan's interaction with the others, and the dialogue. I strongly suggest enlisting the help of an editor to help polish your story & take care of those details. There are many on lit that would be glad to help. Also, try to read some of the hall of fame stories to see how they take the time with details, as that can really add the substance that many people look for. Three Square Meals is my favorite series by far, but it's also long because of the amount of details Telfer puts into it. Life As a New Hire is another good series for details.

Hard to tell what's dream and real...