by RavenThunderclaw
I very much enjoyed the story so far. Very descriptive and emotions portrayed with the right sensitive touch. Please continue.
Yes -please continue - You have made a very good start -- good character development -- keep the story going --What happens next?
Only one request, and please do not be offended.
You ought to get somebody to clear up your occasional grammar mistakes.
You are making the persons in your story very likeable.
I agree...interesting characters and storyline....please keep writing. I do agree with the others. A good editor would be of great benefit to the story.
WOW...one hell of a story so far. Yes, u had some grammactical errors but not overwhelming. Just keep the story line more towards the girl & U. Don't know how deep u r into your present g/f but I dare U to make the switch slowly though. Its your story but try to keep it endearing & as romantic as u can. Looks like u r going to have fun writing the rest of it. How long is Mommy going to stay do u think?
I dont know where u live or anything about u yet, but if u need a proof reader as someone else suggested I would be happy to lend u a hand. Let me know OK.
Best of Luck with the next chapters......Denny
I enjoyed reading your story so far and hope you decide to continue. Thank you for sharing.
Writing was a bit awkward in places, but I enjoyed reading the story. Hopefully, the next update will be longer.
Also, I'm glad that Sam decided to break up with his current gf before boning Gwen.
Good story. Good construction. You need to get someone to edit your stories. There are a lot of errors.
Please write more, sure their are some errors but this is Truely good writing and a good story!