All Comments on 'Spinal Meningitis is No Joke Ch. 07'

I sort of feel like Beth will be with a guy at the party and I really hope that doesn’t happen.

Loved all the chapters so far, my only criticism is that it occasionallly says “Lynne” instead of “Leanne”

Parts of this chapter seemed a little rushed, and for some reason the beginning of the chapter was confusing.

But it’s still hot stuff. Keep up the good work.

Loving the content of your story but feel that you may benefit from an editor or proof reader as Leanne’s name kept changing to Lynne at times. Other than that minor detail keep up the good work

I love anal more than anyone else. And obviously this story is supposed to be over the top... But I thought is was ridiculous that he was sliding his baseball bat of a cock up her ass without preparation. And I thought it was a missed opportunity for the story to cram all that into one relatively short session. For me it took the story from fun to ridiculous.

You've dropped a few balls, literally speaking.

Lynn, Leanne? Slow down, do read-alouds and you'll catch those.

For someone who had threatened him regarding sex with Beth, she didn't have any problem shoving her bff to the side when the First Opportunity presented itself. What's done is done, but you should have this kind of thing story-boarded - major events in the development with each girl should make sense with what you had planned/stated earlier, unless you Choose those 'unplanned' events to impact the story.

Unprepared anal with a baseball bat? Bullshite and bad bullshite to boot.

Not only that, but the only way it is possible is if she is a major buttslut, which means she has steady anal sex with... who?

Lastly (on the anal topic) it would make more sense to say "next time, when we can prepare and take our time" instead of blending their first time into a marathon of supposedly hurried sex.

The sex is quite hot, the story is suffering a bit from it, but hopefully you'll pick up the plot a bit more next chapter.

I almost whined out "Do I have to?" but managed instead to say, "Not yet, just a second."

Imagine a girl changing/checking swimsuits and the whole shop catcalling her..wth? Next they decide who he dates? Next his mom comes into the shower and plays with his precum? Next they have visitors and his sis sits on his lap and kisses his mouth infront of them..?

Damn whatsup with the mom teasing him? Flashing her pussy? Showing nipple? Going in the shower? Lotion him head to toe naked? Drinking his precum?

I’m a fairly regular reader of Literotica. The scene of Josh and Leanne in the bathroom is one of the best sex reads I’ve found on the entire site. Well done.

Who is this Lynne that keeps appearing?

I starting to suspect the author is a virgin.

This has got to be one of the blandest stories I've read. The beginning chapters were supposed to be the hook, to draw us into an actual plot: instead, every woman who looks at him immediately wants to fuck him, he remains a passive generic indecisive guy every time, and the same things keep happening again and again.

You have good talent for the micro, for writing the little scenes and descriptions of people and sex acts, but please pay more attention to the macro in the future: to characterization and story development.

Как у них легко с аналом!! Без смазки, подготовки, очистки, в конце концов!! Завидую) Тут каждый раз подготовка начинается за пару часов минимум)