Stable Boy

"I'm happy for," he said. "I'm sure it hurts, but this had to happen, right?"

"Yes. Yes, it did and although it does hurt, I feel pretty good about the future. I can't say I'm as optimistic about staying with my mom much longer, but this has been a much-needed break from...well, from everything."

Again, there was a long pause before Parker said, "Okay, not...everything. I...I'd say you're the one exception to the rule."

She could tell he was smiling as he said, "Okay. I thought you were going to say Dawson and Joey."

Parker laughed but admitted she did miss her horses.

"I've missed you too, Parker," he said without prompting. "I can't tell you how many times I've thought about you and our kiss."

Her stomach did another flip-flop before she said, "Me, too.

"So um...are you free now?" she heard him ask.

"The divorce won't be final for several months, but otherwise, yes, I'm free."

"I'd like to see you, Parker. Soon."

Another tummy roll and Parker said, "I'd...like that."

"Would you let me fly to Florida so we could spend some time together?" he asked his voice filled with hope.

"I...I wouldn't try and stop you," she said sweetly. "Now my mom is a very different story."

She told him briefly about her mother's worldview and Austin laughed politely.

"Wow. Between my mom and yours I'm not sure who got the worst of it." He quickly apologized for implying her mother was anything like a drug-addicted woman who, um...slept around.

"We can't choose our parents, right?" she said after assuring him she took no offense.

"Let me do some research on places to stay then I'll book a flight and a rental car. I mean, if you really do want to see me."

Parker managed not to laugh as she told him, "That's my line, Austin. I'm the one sitting here wondering why in the world a guy like you would even be interested in someone like me."

"Good question," he replied.

"Hey! Don't be mean," she said hoping he was teasing.

"Yeah, why would I want to spend time with a woman who's drop-dead gorgeous, thoughtful, caring, and incredibly giving? Hmmm. Maybe I should rethink this, huh?"

Parker found herself on the verge of tears as he told her the kinds of things she'd longed to hear from a man for so many years.

"You okay?" he asked when she didn't reply.

She grabbed a tissue and dabbed eyes then said, "Yes. I'm fine. I just haven't heard anyone say anything like that in a very long time."

"Well, if you do choose to spend time with me, you may get sick of hearing those kinds of things because I tend to share my feelings rather easily and often."

He heard a small hitch in her voice as she relied.

"I'm willing to risk it."

Austin laughed politely then said, "So let me do some checking and I'll call you back. Unless you have a recommendation on where to stay."

"No. I'll be happy with whatever you decide," she said just as sweetly as before. "And for the record? It doesn't take a lot in the way of stuff to impress me. I've had stuff and I'd take genuine love and friendship any day."

"I didn't think I could be more impressed with you, but shame on me. I was very, very wrong."

There was another lengthy pause before Parker said, "Austin? I can't wait to see you."

"Same here, Parker, and I can't tell you how glad I am you called. So...I'll call you back soon. Oh, what time is it there, by the way?"

"I'm three hours ahead of you, but you can call me anytime, Austin. Day or night."

"Talk to you soon, beautiful," he told her.

"K. Bye, Austin."

Parker felt as happy, if not happier, than she had the times she'd been with Austin before. She smiled when she realized she felt exactly the way she had when a cute boy had asked her out for the first time. It didn't matter that that had some seventeen years ago. It felt just as good now as it had back then, and for the first time in years, Parker believed she might one day not just feel happy, but actually be happy again. She had no idea whether or not it would be with Austin. What mattered was that she knew that neither life nor love had forever passed her by.

Parker sat there in the warm night air listening to the radio while she waited for Austin to call back. The only station that was crystal clear was an oldies station and she was enjoying songs she hadn't heard in years or in many cases had never heard before. One in particular caught her attention and stayed with her after it was over.

She couldn't remember all of the lyrics, but she had the melody and some of the words down and found herself singing out loud:

"Do you believe in magic, in a young girl's heart, how the music can free her whenever it starts..."

She filled in the missing words with nonsense syllables then continued:

"Do you believe in magic? Come along with me, we'll dance until morning, just you and

me, and maybe, if the music the right, I'll meet ya tomorrow so late at night..."

Parker sat there singing and let herself imagine dancing with her handsome young stable boy as the music freed her; freed her from a marriage gone so horribly wrong, from the feelings of oppression she felt with her mom, and freed to love again, and yes, to make love again. But no thought made her happier than that of one day holding a baby in her arms with its father, her husband and best friend, right there beside her.

Parker was in a kind of self-induced state of being on Cloud Nine when her phone rang. She was so deep into her dream state, it startled her but also made her very happy.

"Hi, there! What did you find out?" she said her voice brimming with excitement.

"Quite a lot," he said without offering details.

"Oh. Um...that was helpful," she teased.

"Two options. Your choice," he said in response.

"I'm listening," she said unable to stop smiling.

"First is..."

Austin gave her the rundown on where he could stay and Parker agreed it shouldn't be in Fort Walton. There was no need to introduce him to her mother unless things progressed to a point doing so became necessary. Still, just the thought of that kind of possibility pegged her happiness meter to its limits.

"Okay, so I'll meet you in Pensacola—at the airport tomorrow afternoon then," she said once they'd agreed.

"I can't wait to see you again, Parker," he told her.

"Yeah, same here," she told him in her sweet voice. "Oh...Austin? I never did ask, but...how old are you?"

He could 'see' the face she was making just by the way she asked the question and it made him smile.

"Having second thoughts?" he asked pleasantly.

"Noooo. Just...curious. That's all," she informed him as she winced while waiting to hear his answer.

"I'm 21," he announced. "So...now are having second thoughts?"

She'd assumed he was about that age, but hearing it really drove home how much younger than her he was. Even so, she had to admit he acted and spoke like someone with much more life experience, and based on what she knew about him, that made sense. He'd seen more in the last 6-7 years than many people see in a lifetime and yet he remained balanced, pleasant, and optimistic. So yes, chronologically there was a pretty sizable gap, but in terms of his life experience, Parker felt very comfortable being in a relationship with him. She certainly wasn't afraid of him and felt completely safe when she was with him. In fact, she felt quite a few things when they were together and all of them were good.

"Not at all," she was able to say truthfully. She waited a second or two the asked, "Don't you want to know how...young I'm not?"

"Honestly? I don't care how old you are—or aren't."

Parker could 'hear' him smile as he spoke. She also knew he he serious when he said, "I'd feel the same way about you regardless of when you were born."

"I'm almost afraid to ask how you feel about me so maybe I'll let that go for now."

"Why?" Austin said cheerfully. "I'm flying all the way across the country to be with you, Parker, so...does that help?

"Yes," said as sweetly as she could. "It helps. A lot."

"So, yes, you will see me tomorrow and with any luck every day after that," he told with a smile she could hear.

"That's a lot of days," she said now smiling brightly herself.

"I hope it is," he told you. "See you soon, beautiful."

"Bye, handsome," she said feeling sad their conversation was ending, but thrilled at the prospect of spending the next week with him and quite possibly...all of it.

"Where did you say you're going, dear?" her mother asked after Parker told her she'd be gone for a few days the following morning.

"I didn't say, Mom," she replied politely.

"Does this involve another man, Parker? Need I remind you you are still a married woman in eyes of Almighty God?"

"No, there's no need to remind me. I'm painfully aware of that fact all day, every day."

"We reap what we sew, my dear. And you sewed the wind with that godless man who turned out to be a homosexual, something that is an abomination unto the Lord."

"Yes. Yes, he is gay, Mother. But is that really such a bad thing?"

"You can't be serious, Parker! The Word of God tells us that the adulterer, the fornicator, the effeminate—that means homosexuals—and all who do such wicked things will not inherit the Kingdom of God. So if your 'time way' is with some...new man of yours, be very careful, my dear. Anything you do will be considered adultery in the eyes of a just and holy God!"

"I'll um...I'll try and keep that in mind," Parker said unable to keep her sarcasm from spilling out.

"Parker? God is not mocked! Whatsoever you sew so shall you..."

"I know. I know, Mom. I'm a child of the devil on my way to hell," she said trying not to be snide but not doing a very good job of it.

"Parker? You are now back living under my roof, and unless you can respect my beliefs then you will no longer be welcome here. I cannot and will not compromise with evil. So if you willingly become an adulteress, then don't bother coming back here," she said in no uncertain terms.

"Okay, Mom. You got it. I'll go pack my things."

"Parker, don't be unreasonable. We need to discuss this and...pray about it. God will show you the wages of sin and if you'll just ask Him, He'll save you from it! He'll remove these sinful desires from you and place in you a new..."

"Mom?" Parker said loudly interrupting her mother. "You'll always be my mother, and I'll always love you. I'm also grateful for you letting me stay with you. I truly am. But I am a grown woman who's been on her own for many years now. Respectfully, I don't need a mother anymore, but I could use a friend and friends don't tell each other how to live their lives."

The two women stared at one another for several seconds before Parker said, "I'll be out of your house in a few minutes," then headed to her room to pack.

Twenty minutes later Parker had everything she brought with and carried her suitcases to the door.

"Goodbye, Mother," she said not sure if her mom would even reply. Several seconds passed in silence. Parker opened the door then picked up her luggage.

"Parker? Wait," her mom said.

She set the bags down and turned around. She was shocked when she saw tears in her mother's eyes and was almost moved to go hug her but she just couldn't do it.

"I...I made such a mess out of my own marriage," her mom said without looking at her.

"I...I was so...cold and unaffectionate with your father. His drinking didn't destroy our marriage, honey. He turned to it to bury the hurt and the pain. Going to church made me feel better about myself, and I found all this emotional support and...well, that made it easier for me to let your father go when he decided to move out. I never told anyone the real reason why he left or started drinking."

For the first time since all that happened she felt like she was talking to her mother again; the mother who'd raised her and once been her best and dearest friend.

"Mom, I had no idea," she said as she moved toward her.

"I was too ashamed to tell you, honey. I wouldn't even see a marriage counselor for fear I'd have to admit I needed to change so I let your father suffer in silence until he could't take it anymore."

Tears were streaming down her face as she said, "I don't know if you can ever forgive me because I can't even forgive myself, but Parker? I am so very sorry."

Moved to tears herself, Parker put her arms around her mother and held her.

"Of course I forgive you, Mom."

"Thank you, honey. I've carried this guilt around for over 20 years and...I've never once told your father how sorry I am. He...he was such a good man."

With that her mother lost it and cried until crying became the deepest kind os heavy sobbing.

"Then let's go see him," Parker said.

"I...I don't know if I can even face him," she said barely able to speak.

Parker had only been to visit once and he was very drunk when she arrived and he passed out within an hour. She was pretty sure he wouldn't even remember her being there.

"Right now?" her mom asked her voice shaky and full of fear.

"No. Let's go tomorrow morning. We might just catch him sober enough to appreciate what's going on."

"I know he hates me," she said. "And...and I can't blame him. I...I hate myself, too."

Parker continued to hold her mom until she cried it all out.

"So...are you going to come back by tomorrow morning?" she asked when she finally stopped crying.

"No, Mom," Parker said with a smile. "I'm not leaving."

Her words brought on another bout of tears, but these were very different tears than the ones she'd shed from decades of guilt and self-loathing.

The two of them finally had a long, honest conversation about many things that night, and by the time Parker finally went to bed she almost felt like she had her mother back. Her real mother. A lot of damage had been done, but Parker could not only forgive, she made a promise to try and forget knowing that would be the much harder thing to do.

The following morning, they were standing in front of the rundown shack where Sandra's former husband, Edward Collins, lived. She rang the doorbell then reached for her daughter's hand who held it tight until the door opened.

Edward was a sight. His thinning, gray hair was a disheveled mess. He had 2-3 days worth of gray stubble on his face, and he was wearing a dirty, stained 'wife-beater' tee-shirt and yellowed boxers.

"Hello, Edward," Sandra said. She could tell he didn't recognize her.

"Daddy? It's me. Parker. Mom's here with me."

He'd just woke up and was getting ready to take his first drink when the doorbell rang. He squinted, looked at Parker then back at his ex-wife.

"Sandra? Is that really you?" he asked as he ran his hand through what hair was left on the top of his head.

"Yes, Edward. It's me. May we come in?"

The visit lasted well over an hour as Sandra poured her heart while leaning on her daughter for strength and support.

Parker felt herself choke up when her father told her mother the very thing she'd told Kurt.

"I don't hate you, Sandra. I never did and I never will."

That caused her mother to start crying again which caused Parker to cry and her father to say, "I need a drink!"

Everyone laughed even when he did get up and bring a bottle of cheap gin back with him. He took a long pull then said, "I'd love to be able to quit drinking."

Parker wasn't sure, but she thought she saw a tear in her father's eye, too. She moved next to him and said, "Daddy, I'll pay for rehab if you'll go."

Sandra then said, "And I'll support you any way I can, Edward. I...I promise."

He took another long drink then coughed. A small amount of blood came up which ended up on his tee-shirt.

"I'm too far gone," he told them with a shake of his head.

"No one is too far gone, Edward," Sandra told him.

"I swear to God if you say one thing about..."

Sandra also moved next ti him then said, "No. No preaching. Not this time. Just please let us help you, Edward. Please?"

"Yes. Please, Daddy?" Parker said trying not to cry.

After a long period of silence, he turned to his daughter and told her, "Okay. Set it up and I'll try."

Parker found two places willing to take him that day—if she had half the fee upfront. Both were well...ungodly expensive—but the money didn't matter. She dad a very sizable amount in an account and Parker was willing to spend every dollar if need be as getting her father well again did. By one o'clock, he was checked in and by two had taken a shower and had a thorough medical exam. Parker and her mother both hugged him and promised to visit as soon as visitation was allowed.

He still reeked of alcohol, but at least there was finally hope.

Parker had just over an hour before needing to head west to Pensacola so she dropped her mother off, changed clothes, and got ready to leave.

"You look nice, honey," her mom told her sincerely.

"Thanks, Mom," she replied.

"I'm not going to be able to change overnight, you know," Sandra said. "I still can't condone your seeing another man while you're still married, but..."

"But?" Parker asked with a smile.

"But you are my daughter and I love you very much and I really do want you to be happy."

"Even if I'm 'living in sin'?" she asked pushing her luck.

"After the hell I put your father through, I think I can at least try to not be too judgmental where my daughter is concerned."

Parker hugged her then said, "That works for me, Mom."

Just as she was leaving he mom said, "Have fun, honey, and be good. You really can be both, you know."

"Mom?" Parker said in a friendly way of warning.

"Okay. Okay. I'll back off," she said managing a slight smile.

"I'd like you to meet him sometime," Parker said.

"Well, some...time is what I need, honey. Give me some and we'll see, okay?" she said sincerely. "Is this...serious?"

"I don't honestly know, Mom. But I think it could be. In time," she said enjoying the play on words.

And with that she was on her way to meet the stable boy she realized she'd fallen for. She couldn't assume he felt the same way, but he had flown some 3,000 miles to see her, and he was obviously attractive enough to meet beautiful girls his own age anywhere he wanted so...maybe, just maybe...he did.

Parker felt like she was sixteen again waiting to be taken to the prom as she stood at the gate where Austin would be arriving any minute now. She was a basket case of conflicting feelings and emotional highs and lows as the minutes ticked off. Then suddenly she saw a jet taxiing up to the gate and her heart began pounding like crazy.

Within minutes, the door to the ramp opened and passengers began steaming into the waiting area one or two at a time until she saw him. She felt silly when she squealed excitedly when she saw him. He heard it and smiled as their eyes made contact. He walked quickly toward, one hand behind his back.

"You are so beautiful!" he said as he produced a beautiful bouquet of red roses. "I hope these didn't get too smushed in the overhead bin."

"Oh, my goodness! Austin, they're perfect. Thank you!" she said as she went to kiss him on the cheek. The flowers were a smushed mess, but to her they really were perfect.

"Uh-uh," he said as he pulled away. There was a stunned look in her eyes for a moment before he said, "I've been waiting too long to kiss you again to settle for a peck on the cheek.

Parker's expression changed immediately just as he pressed his lips against hers. The kiss lasted several wonderful seconds on when it slowly ended, all Parker could say was, "Wow..."

Austin brushed her back and said, "I've thought about that kiss a thousand times."

"Was it worth the wait?" she asked still feeling sixteen.

"Oh, yeah. And then some," he assured her.

He took her free hand as they walked to the baggage claim area.