All Comments on 'Starlight Gleaming Ch. 17'

I was waiting for this chapter and it was well worth the wait. Well done. Very well done.

TerrytheTraveler helped a great deal with catching errors, but several still slipped through. I think I'm in love with vitamin D. Not quite as tired all the time, and not sick as often, and based on this tale, my error rate is much lower. I'll take it.

I had two tough spots that required rewrites before I was happy with them -- the opening scenes with meeting Calia and Ixma, and the fight scene at the temple. I wanted to rush through the first part, but realized I needed to pay attention to the details. His relationship with Janetta and the others was still rather new, and he'd been gone for a long time. The fight scene, though, proved a tough one. I wrote it through five different times, didn't like how it came out, and scrapped it until I had it where I thought it should go. Enough action to be believable and to give the other characters their bit of time in the light. Or so I hope. I did have fun with the chase scene between Ranji and Janetta. But what do I know? I write erotic fiction.

Thanks for sticking with it. I've had a request for a Bard's Tale next, before I do another chapter of Starlight Gleaming. So look out for 'Bard's Tale 04 - Holly Wood' to come out next. Slainté

So worth the wait. Looking forward to A bards tale submission and then another chapter of Starlight Gleaming. Thank you for both your time and talent!

I feel bad even mentioning this when you've given us such an awesome story.

But....

The aiming device on a firearm is a sight (as in to see) not a site (as in a place)

I'm sorry, but that one grinds my teeth

Correction added to the fixes that will be submitted soon. Well sighted. Thank you.

I do this to save the mandibles. Slainté

Thank you, I was starting to wonder if this was ever going to come out. It was great.

Cheers for that.

The poorest of chapters done so far TJ.... totally poor... The total feel of the story which we found upto chater 15 are so watered down... I don't know why I pestered you so much ..... Stop writing any further and give it to others to try. This is the reason we pushed so far to complete the story quickly to bein correct tempo.

Also what about this Indian dress,language and customs while the Mayan system was fully different.

Please read the entire story again and rewrite the chapter.

Sinuhe

I'm totally caught up in your world. I'm comfortable with this as a way for the characters to,catch up with what's been going on and establishing us for events going forward. I like the length of the chapters too bad they take so long. Keep up the good work

I just read the whole series over the past few days and I'm hooked!! Thank you for the stories - can't wait to read more!! And anyone else crave hot chocolate and chai tea while reading this?? I can't imagine what makes Ranji and Janetta break up from Chapter 1, looking forward to reading more of the story!

Beautiful story as always. Lived up fully to my expectations. Hope you get better. Ignore the hater, he/she is just jealous of your abilities.

Almost done with reviewing to fix pesky errors. On the one hand, seeing each one of those on the web page is like a Homer Simpson "Doh!" moment. But the fact that I'm catching more of them is indication to me that at least cognitively, I'm getting better on the D3.

Why all the Indian stuff? Ranji is of Vedan extraction, where Ranji and both of his parents were born. I'm using the modern equivalent to convey a sense of differentness, as servants and many others are wearing local dress. The Empire of Chimorro is ruled by Queschua (Inca). Within the Empire are many semi-independent states, and within them, many tribes. The Shtomar or Sleeping Mountains where Ranji's parents live are the foothills of the Andes. Part of Caibo valley is now Lake Maracaibo.

Again, I'm playing fast and loose with history by so including Maya, Nahuatl, and the other modern tribal groups. But we have no records for the most part of who actually lived in the region 13,000 years ago. Modern archeology insists for the most part that everyone was living a lithic culture and racing to expand over the continent. (One professor likened it to their crossing Beringia 12,000 years ago, and practically running and spreading out until they reached Tierra del Fuego. "T'ain't likely, McGee!") The Empire is not just Mayan or Nahautl or even Queschuan, but an amalgamation of thousands of various tribes under the rule of one. It's not a federal system, but rather a feudal one, with a lot of local culture identifies retained under the Imperial government. As mentioned earlier, the Eagle, Jaguar, and Shark temples were Central American martial orders that were adopted by the Empire.

In Chapter 16, Ranji spent a great deal of time in what we'd call California and Mexico now, passing through a more laid-back, frontier region less under the influence and control of the central government. The city of Raydam is smack dab in the middle of Chumash region. Chatolklan's estate is in areas once owned by Sierra Miwok. Emilo lives north of the Frisco area - perhaps in Yuki, Pomo, or Coastal Miwok. Zinja is Oexecan; nowadays, that state is in the southwest coast of Mexico, but at the time of the story, it's actually south Texas extending south to the states of Nuevo Leon and Tamaulipas. Cholan is an Islander - Carib or Arawak, though it wouldn't be beyond the pale to think there might be some west African in the mix, too. The East Islands and Seven Nations are buffer states, and see them as having a lot of trade and foreigners; it's the means by which trade goods from Atlantis and Chimorro reach the populations of their political rivals. People do emigrate - which what Ranji's parents did.

For those interested, while I'm working on the fixes and outlining Bard's Tale 4, I am also outlining chapter 18 for Starlight Gleaming. There will be visits to Cholan's family, Ranji rescues Melannee, Ranji and Janetta get... well, you'll just have to read it to see what happens. Buwaahahaaaa. (And for the record, both of my exes gave me the evil eye whenever I did that; apparently I did the evil villain laugh too well. And yes, I did play with my mustache.)

Slainté

I just finished chapter 17 and read the comments. I don't know who or what the one is that signed as Sinuhe but if it doesn't like your writing then it can just stop reading your stories. I believe you've got a ton of followers that's just to happy to read your story. All I can ask is how soon till we see chapter 18 and I hope you are well now.

TK

TJ you don't have to explain yourself. This is your universe, your rules, your imagination. This category is SCIFI/Fantasy, who cares if it does not fulfil all the nuances of Central Southern America 13,000 years ago, that is just the flavour, not the absolute.

It is a parallel universe not this one ANON, so if the story gets up your nose and sensibilities, don't read it, and certainly don't lambast it. Here, stories are free, from the giving hearts of "Amateur" writers, they are not professional, hence there is no need for readers to act as professional reviewers, being acerbic reflects badly on you, save that for the professional writer.

THAT was totally worth the wait!

I concur with hakdrakken, completely worth the wait, just very painful to wait this long. Most of us know you went through a bad spell with your health, hope you are good now and then maybe we can hope to see chapters more often although this one was nice and long.

Thank you very much, keep up the nice story and ignore the negative critics out there.

TK

They should be up in a couple of days. I was surprised by how many little ones squeaked by. A few of them I'm embarrassed about, as I have 40+ pages of notes about this series. I'm sure I missed more, but I'm turning my full attention to Bard's Tale 4 now.

For me, a glaring error was describing the Kite as AHH, which is incorrect. Here's the actual entry I wrote up for it:

AHR-17 Kite - Attack Helicopter, Reconnaissance. Lio Airways. Two person craft, pilot and recon operator with infrared, ultraviolet and high quality, long range scanning cameras, as well as ECM/ECCM capability. Reflective plating for foiling radar, and sound suppressors to nearly silent flight. The Kite is an important tool for finding and targeting enemy forces for Ground Service elements. Often armed with a pair of 20-round rocket pods for attack and defense. Retractable landing gear and jet-assisted engine.

-----------------------------

FWIW, for several times over the past week, I wake up having dreamt of what happens in Starlight Gleaming 18 and Bard's Tale 04 - alternating days, so no, it's not an epic or even crazy weird crossover...

Though admittedly the Skyra set of stories has had its share of tech visits. More than a handful of characters were refugees from defunct campaigns run by other people. There were a couple of people who had campaigns that I myself enjoyed playing in. But periodically they'd get bored and the world would suddenly be destroyed. Mikel Landers and his first three wives were mine from one of those situations. I was attached to them and couldn't bear the thought they'd perished. So, I contrived that they escaped and found their way to Skyra through one of the world gates. The remarkable Landers Sisters were the result of me figuring out what happens when a sexual athlete marries five women. Three days later, I had 15 pages of lineage charts.

No projections on when SG18 or BT04 will be done, but Bard's Tale stories tend to be shorter, other than the really long set up of Tale 01. And yes, I'm hinting there will be more than ten by having a leading zero. That way they'll sort properly on my story page. I have a 3-inch binder full of notes detailing adventures encountered by Reison and the three sisters covering the eight years of their lives together. And that was before I went to online gaming with Reison's player (adding another player). I have two huge text files, so when I get to that part, my story production should be a lot quicker. But that is at least year or so down the road yet.

Thanks for hanging around! Slainté

Beautiful job! Sorry to see it end.

Does your comment means that you're discarding Starlight Gleaming and if not how long before we'll see another chapter of it.

I'm just one of those readers who don't go on to read a new story by the same writer if the one is not done or unless the writer flips between stories to keep them all up to date. There are just to many half written stories on here by writers who only went halfway with a story, got us hooked and then stopped with the story. It's very frustrating when this happens so please set us in the clear about your intentions on SG.

TK

Correct TK. It is becoming a practice of some writers, that they flip between different stories without considering what the common readers like us actually wants. True they have every right to write whatever they want to produce but if this dilutes their quality they don't want to take responsibility.

Personally I think TJ should sit with the total manuscript in one evening, go through it and notes he made and than try to complete next and last 3-4 chapters at the earliest.

This will help all concerned and not writing bards tell which very few wants now.

Writing when I am able. I understand the frustration about wanting more chapters. I follow several here on Lit myself. Lien Geller, DarkPulse, Bobalous, Writerannabelle, SciFurz, RedFirebrand, and others - and if I missed naming anyone, think of it as a space issue. Check out my favorites list. I miss bashfullyshameless, but his contract with Amazon prevents those stories from remaining on Lit, and at least he's making a living at writing.

I started the switching back and forth as there are several unfinished series there on my list. Because of health reasons and solely focusing on Starlight Gleaming, it has been over three years for followup for some of those series. Where does the time go?

If I could, I'd be writing full time. I did have fun writing the chase scene in the house with Ranji and Janetta. In the meantime, safe flight and safe return. Slainté

Yes I kept reading stories and then the writer stops the series and starts a new one and expect us to just be ok with it. A series/writer that did this too many times (Pars001) I actually told him I refuse to read another story started by him as I was already following two of his stories (A Guy and His... and Lost Empire, love them both). He stopped writing the new series after a while and just now started another new series and completely stopped writing the other. It's VERY frustrating to start reading a story just to come to the end of the chapters but the story is not done.

The BEST writer ever who does not fall into this with the alltime best story on any site ever is Tefler with Three Square Meals, at chapter 99 now and almost done with a big milestone 100, wish all writers will try for something like this to have sooo many followers (actually addicted followers) like Tefler.

Please TJ, your story is good, don't neglect it.

TK

A testament to the characters you build, the backstory you provide and a writing style that I appreciate ever so much. Thank you for sharing your talent. /Magic Hug

Plunking along in Bard's Tale. Sometimes it takes me a few days to switch gears.

Often when I'm writing, I see it like a video in my head. Bits of chapter 18 are already floating about in my head.

My face leaked too when Deedee died, and again when they put her ashes into the ground. I'm getting fond of Sisi as well. Thanks for reading! Slainté

Love this story, thank you for continuing it. My only comment is, you could slow the story down a bit. The pace has been insane. Maybe a slower investigation?

Are you ever going to continue this story or should I give up on reading your stories anymore?

Put this together in book form, and I'd buy a copy! Love, love, LOVE this story!

Forget this writer and his story whose muse have an accident.

Health issues continue to be a problem, and the past three months, I'm only able to work part time. Which makes it even tougher. New doctor (the old one got a better paying one some place else), and the experiments continue. The bad leg pain since Feb has abated with some physical therapy, so that is one bright spot. Frankly, though, I'd keep the leg pain, because at least I could sit and write. The migraines and seizures keep me from doing anything for long stretches at a time.

No, I have not given up on the story. I am writing. I would love to be more productive. I work on that everyday - mostly because I like to eat and have a warm bed at night. I'm writing because I love it, and it's pretty much the only thing I do these days. Sometimes, too, I write 20-30 pages, only to scrap it -- for going in the wrong direction, not being true to the story or the characters, or simply being crap. Still working on Bard's Tale 04. I have the next 10 years of that story outlined (I had the foresight to take notes during Reison's original adventures), and some of the later sections are even in first draft form. If you haven't tried it, give Bard's Tale a try. And, not trying to be flippant, there are a lot of other good writers that should hold your interest until I post next.

I have also been outlining what will be in Starlight Gleaming 18. Please have patience. I truly appreciate the interest, but will forgo the nasty comments. I will get there eventually.

If you want a teaser, here's two: somebody gets married, and Ranji runs into Melannee again - in Atlantis. I take that back. Two people get married - and not to each other. Slainté

I think you're taking us for a ride

I guess you stopped writing completely now?

Bard's Tale 4 went off to the reader last night, so now I'm turning my attention back to Starlight Gleaming.

My health issues aren't bull. I'm sure there are others out there much worse than I am, but last month, I was only able to work 48 hours. Fortunately, my roommates are willing to work with me. Losing internet would be a bummer, though. Part of last month was conjunctivitis in both eyes misdiagnosed as viral, so it was 10 days before it got any treatment. Seeing anything was a struggle for almost three weeks.

On the plus side, I received an absolutely delightful email from a fan, a retired veteran, who wrote that the phrase, "I am a warrior, and I am still standing" resonated, and gave some solace.

Anyway, I'm not the fastest writer. Probably too many times I'll write something, say it's junk, and delete 5, 10, even 50 pages and start over. The scene has to be just-so before I move on. I re-wrote the first 30 pages of SG-17 about five times. The burial scene only twice, but mostly because it made me cry. (Yeah, an imaginary friend died and I got emotional. Nothing to write home about. It is what it is. If I re-read the story, I'll probably tear up again. I like dogs and cats, too.)

I will complete Starlight Gleaming. And it will be posted here on Literotica.

If I somehow don't get to finish it, it won't be because I'm pining for the fjords of Norway. It'll be because I'm no more, I've ceased to be. Expired and gone to meet my maker. A stiff. Bereft of life. Off my twig. Kicked the bucket. Shuffled off my mortal coil. Run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible. I will have fuckin' snuffed it. I'll be an ex-human. (No apologies to the Python boys; they were always doing something completely different and might even approve my irreverence.) Now, I think it's time for me to misbehave.

Bard's Tale will be up in a week or so; once it's back from TerrytheTraveler (a shout to my sole volunteer reader! Huzzah!). I will the corrections, then upload it. Meantime, I'm working on SG-18.

If this ever goes to film, I want Michelle Rodriguez to play Janetta. Zoe Saldana would be cool as Zinja, but she's not tall enough. SRK (Shahrukh Khan) for Ranji. Kristana Loken for Melannee. Amusing, I know. And they're all aging pretty fast to play 20-somethings. But if you're inclined, I would be amused to read your suggestions, even for alternative leads.

Enough blathering. Anyway, have a grand day. Slainté

TJSkywind,

I read this story in 2.5 days and it is one of the best stories I have read in a longtime. i am so glad you are not finished with this story and more chapters to come. there are so many open characters and it drives me crazy thinking about how you are going to bring it full circle..... Example, Orchid (Melannee) will they meet again and will she be the one to take out Minister SuPay. Will Supay be caught and put to death by the Emperor. Will the good Draconian's meet with Ranji and set a trap. Will Ranji's Father, get the personal defense shields and the personal cloaking devices done in time to help Ranji take down the trash. The renewed relationship of Janetta and Her mom.... OMg my mind is whirling with all the plots you have going.... thanks for the great read...

Despite continuing health issues and continued Rx experiments by the doctors to help, I am writing. Still having some days when I have trouble even seeing text on the monitor. Had hoped to get an important fight scene finished today. Nope. Eyes wouldn't focus for most of the day. Started working better a couple of hours ago, and now the eyes are twitching again. Sigh. Have about 90 pages in pretty good shape thus far, though (that's about 9 Lit pages); but that's only a quarter of what I want to accomplish in this chapter. I may put the marriages and visit with Melannee off until chapter 19. Depends on how fast I can finish the writing and how things come together.

On another note:

Was notified today that I won the Reader's Choice award for March 2017 for Starlight Gleaming, Chapter 15. Yeah, I just got the notice. Stunned comes close to how I felt. I'm also humbled, especially considering one of the other contestants was Etaski; she is a great storyteller who has also struggled with health issues. I haven't read anything by TehCorinthian, but apparently he's a stone's throw away from where I live, and also recently dealing with health issues. Is this a trend?

Anyway, many of the chapters I can see show over 10,000 readers, but only 200-300 actually vote. To everyone who voted, thank you. To everyone who voted for me, consider me gobsmacked.

And a sincere congratulations to Etaski and TehCorinthian. Slainté

I hope this finds you feeling better. You are a wonderful author and I hope to read many more of your stories. Take care of yourself first, we will wait! Safe flight, safe return.

Keep on trucking if you can, this story is great and has helped me wait for more Three Square Meals.

Either way amazing story and hope we get more in the future.

Are you writing still now or stopped. No excuses please.

Working hard on chapter 18. Writing whenever I can see the monitor and can sit upright without problems. The marriage scenes will probably end up in next chapter, but I have not abandoned the story. The health issues really do impact my ability to be as productive as others. I remain committed to finishing it.

Teasers -- Ranji finds out why Doyya returned as a full lieutenant. Charunt reappears. The Order of Quetzal takes an active interest in Calia.

Still trying to keep my job, and due to frequent illness, only worked 48 hours last month. Health issues continue to be a serious issue, but after three years of increasing problems, things might be moving forward. Blood panel last month showed three anomalies. This month there are four. Could be a lot things yet, unfortunately. But physical evidence of something wrong is a step forward. I found the anomalies by going through my lab results myself, though, and not my doctor, so there's that. I'm not pushing up daisies yet.

Have a great holiday season, every one. Slainté

The last episode was done one year ago. What a writer. May be he have forgotten to write as more adept to excuses.

Thank you for such a great story. Hope you're feeling better. Anything that you share with us is greatly appreciated. A suggestion made to other writers with health problems, can you dictate and have someone transcribe

I'm still writing. Despite what people think, it has been five months, not a year since my last story was posted. Bard's Tale 4 was 18 Lit pages, or a full 180 page novella, and came out in August 2018.

I am nearing the end of finishing Chapter 18, and I'm working hard. Still having days when I can't even read words on a page. After more than three years, there is finally a diagnosis, and the issue now is can they find the cause to determine if some of the side effects are reversible -- dizziness, tinnitus, shooting body pains, migraines, vision problems, and worse, sometimes cognitive issues.

My reader has read the first part, and it eagerly awaiting the rest of the story. Time to get back to writing. Slainté

Its good to hear that, hopefully now you can focus on improving your health since it is the most important thing. Dont listen to people cribbing about the delays, they can't understand what you might be going through.

Looking forward to the next chapter; this series has been incredible and a fun ride and I hope you know there are 10x as many people behind you as might seem from the comments :)

I would love to give some dictation. It's been positively years since I...

Oh, pardon me. My mind is in the gutter; if you feel uncomfortable, please step aside so I can float on by.

Which reminded me of a hilarious scene by Sarah Millican on one of her shows. If you don't know who that is, you can look for her on YouTube, "Sara Millican learns to talk proper." It's a hoot. Sarah is so lovably earthy. I believe she has a Midlands accent, but when she wants to as evidenced in her comedy specials, she is perfectly capable of doing South Briton (think BBC announcers).

The suggestion of giving dictation was vastly appreciated, and probably not in the way intended. (Yes, I'm in a mood.)

For a normal writer, dictation is fine, but I write adult fiction, and that mucks things up quite a bit. It's the same reason why finding editors and readers is tough. A lot of people read adult fiction, but a great many professionals won't touch it. Adding to that is my own writing process. I do a first pass when I write out the story, and go back through and add details. I don't try to give ALL the details. Just enough to convey the scene and let the reader build the rest of it in their mind. Then I go through a third and fourth time, looking for errors as well as sentence clarity -- that sort of thing.

Thanks for reading. Slainté

Very surprised to hear you like Sara Milican, I think she's hilarious myself and just so you know, she has a northern accent, she's from South Shields to be exact, a city in the northeast, same place I'm from :), loving the story so far, keep it up.

Doctors continuing to search. Blood panels were more normal, but EKG had some issues, so there's that to deal with.

Plunking along as fast as I can, as long as I can remain upright to type, and my mind can put sentences together. I hope to finish my edits and get chapter 18 off to my reader within the next week. Slainté

Chapter 18 is out finally after more than a year. I'll have to read everything from the beginning as I've forgotten the storyline.

TK

I think if you check, it was less than a year, and in between, I did a chapter of Bard's Tale.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day! Slainté

Love this series! I hope more rolls out soon! I hope your health is better!

To have SG20 done by the end of October.

I know it's frustrating to wait that long. Most people can read 200 pages in an afternoon or over a couple of days, and then they say, "Next! Come on, already!" I experience the same for the people I follow, too.

Thanks for your interest. Slainté