Still You Want Me Ch. 01

I look at Colin for confirmation and he nods his approval for tacos. Juan, our waiter, arrives, looking as annoying as ever.

Ugh.

"Charles! Tuesday's usual?"

I confirm. Juan looks at me, then at Colin, and does a double take.

Colin is a strikingly beautiful man. He's the poster child for perfect business casual attire. I'm sure, if you'd search Pinterest, you'd find a picture of him. He's somewhat taller than me, six feet or maybe six-one? His brown hair is full of natural highlights and perfectly styled for business. His big, hazel doe-eyes, along with thick, black lashes, pull everything together. I want to eat him.

He's wearing tight, dark jeans, a grey button-up shirt, and a dark-grey blazer. Everything about him is casual. I doubt he ever tries too hard, which makes him more attractive. I don't think he realizes the effect he has on people...specifically, me.

Juan looks at me and I instantly dread what he's about to say. I mentally pinch the bridge of my nose as I brace myself.

"Is this the reason you were busy this weekend? If so, I forgive you!"

Wink.

Really, Juan? This isn't professional at all. I'm at a business meeting! I hooked up with him once...six months ago! It was clearly a mistake.

Colin almost spits his water out. He obviously thinks Juan's comment is funny. I, however, do not! Half teasing and half wanting Juan gone, I instruct.

"No, Juan. He's only a colleague. Now go start our tacos."

Colin looks at me with amusement. I don't know how I feel about this. I mean, I don't want this to be his first impression of me. Trying to play it off and still keep my confidence intact, I roll my eyes and chuckle.

"It's not—"

He raises his hand to stop me.

"Let me guess. He was a one-time deal, a while back, and you can't shake him because he works here and they have the best tacos."

Well, yeah. I nod my head with defeat as I confirm his guess. I decide to challenge him and up the ante a little.

"You're good. Ok, mister know-it-all, give me your full profile analysis. Bring it on!"

I gesture for him to come at me with everything he has. I'm amused and don't think he'll actually pinpoint me.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?"

I nod and raise my brow. He leans back and loosens his tie as if to prepare for a total take down.

"You were born into wealth and business, your father was gone a lot so your mom pretty much raised you, and you probably have one sibling...a sister?"

I confirm.

"You always had whatever you wanted, friends in school came from similar backgrounds, and they were all like you—rich, good looking, cocky, drove the best cars, had the biggest parties, and bedded all of the girls, or boys, you wanted."

I give him a knowing smirk because yeah, it's true and he smiles.

"You probably didn't hang-out with anyone beneath you and you were accepted to a good college. Maybe you had decent grades, but your college was chosen because it was your dad's Alma Mater and you were in the same fraternity as your dad. You know, connections!"

He shrugs like, duh, obviously!

"Everyone wanted to be your friend because you had unlimited funds, unlimited friends, and unlimited lovers."

He stares at me for a moment, holds up one finger to let me know he's not done, yet...he's thinking—

"You're not gay, you're bi. Or, at least, you were bi in college...equal opportunity, right? Sex is sex is sex! You're a trust fund baby and my guess is, your daddy generously paid your way through college. You had partial access to your trust fund after graduation, but you have to work for the rest of it because daddy wants you to know the value of a dollar. You'll, eventually, get full access to it in the future. You probably have a ridiculously expensive apartment and a stupid expensive car. Two Rolexes, nay, three! And, you work-out four days a week because image is everything."

He sits back, with his arms crossed, and waits for my response.

I don't know what to say. He pretty much nailed me on the head. I look at him for a moment, then I laugh.

"Okay, okay! Wow, you're not bad! It's not perfect, but apparently I'm pretty easy to read."

I eye him, skeptically. Maybe he already knows me. Is he a stalker? Ha, I wish!

"Where was I wrong? You know, for future analysis."

As he smiles, he shows his perfect teeth, perfect lips, and perfect face. He's so cute!

"I'm not bi...anymore. I figured out, during my sophomore year of college, it wasn't for me. I have a house instead of an apartment and I have four Rolexes."

There, that usually impresses people. Tapping his fingers together in the universal hashtag sign, he laughs.

"Good, God! Basic-rich-kid!"

I ask him.

"What about you?"

I want to know more about this hottie because there's something about him that's grabbing my attention. I also want to deflect this conversation away from me because it's not exactly highlighting my best qualities. He grins.

"What about me? Take a shot at me. Profile me."

I laugh.

"No way! I'm terrible at reading people and I don't know you enough to start. All I know is your name is Colin and today is your first day at ClarkCo."

Actually, I am good at reading people, since that's been part of my upbringing. I can't read him, though, and it's driving me crazy.

"What do you want to know?"

Our food arrives and I divide the assortment of tacos between our two plates.

"Anything, I suppose. Where are you from? College? Family? What car do you drive? Hobbies? Where do you live?"

Knowing I can't ask, I think. Do you like men? Do you like me?

"I'm from Portland and went to Columbia University, on the other side of the country, on an academic scholarship. My parents still live here. I have no siblings. I don't have a car, but I need to get one because the Max Line (public transportation) is a joke! I don't have any specific hobbies although I've been doing some DIY lately and I like that."

He shrugs a little, pretending there's nothing interesting or relevant about his life.

"I've been so busy with school, I haven't had much time for hobbies or anything else, for that matter."

Without taking my attention away from the tacos, I casually ask.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

He half jokes.

"What part of or anything else was confusing for you?"

I quickly raise my hands in surrender and he smiles.

It's not really an answer so it's time to fish further.

"What about in college? Did you have a girlfriend then?"

I don't want to be obvious, but I want to know who he bats for. I can't get a good read on him. Hopefully, he's gay, but he's most likely straight. He shrugs and says.

"No. I haven't dated much. I'm not into one night stands, and most people in college aren't looking for anything serious, so I decided not to waste my time."

Oh, God! He's one of those high virtue types, but I guess that's...cute?

"Ok. So you're twenty-something?"

I'm guessing twenty-two and fresh out of college.

"Twenty-five."

He's older than I'd expected.

"Okay, so you're twenty-five and you've never dated anyone?"

I'm surprised because he's so incredibly attractive! Something about him draws people in. He draws me in! How could he not have a line of people waiting for him?

"I didn't say never. What about you? Do you have a lot of boyfriends? I mean, besides Juan?"

He teases me by flashing me the most delicious smile. Normally, I have no qualms about discussing my promiscuous nature, but suddenly, I'm very aware it might cast me in a negative light.

"Um, not too many. I mean, not too many boyfriends. Don't get me wrong, I'm well versed in physical relationships, but I like to keep things simple."

This is not my usual nature so I'm struggling to maintain eye contact.

Keep things simple?! That's not the message I want to convey to him. I mental berate myself for saying that.

"Honestly? I figured that much. You appear to be a love them and leave them type of guy. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, only that it's your thing. Different strokes for different folks!"

He looks genuinely indifferent about the situation and finishes his tacos. He has me pegged perfectly, but that's not what I want to be, at least, not to him. This type of thinking is foreign to me so it's terrifying.

He volunteers his first actual question.

"So, where do you live? In Portland proper?"

"I live in Lake Oswego, where my parents own a house, and the commute sucks, but I guess it's not so bad in my stupid expensive car."

I tease with a smirk and hope I'll charm him with my humor and wit. He claps his hands together and laughs.

"Ha! Of course you do! I can't believe I didn't guess that! Charles Gabett would live in Lake Oswego."

I laugh, too. He's so adorable, I don't care that he's burning me. We still have thirty minutes left for lunch and I'm hoping to spend the entire time with him so I ask.

"Do you drink coffee?"

"No, I've never acquired the taste. I like tea, though."

He's gathering his jacket and leather messenger bag as I almost trip over my chair.

"What? You don't drink coffee!"

I'm shocked! It's rare to meet someone who doesn't like coffee. For me, it's a lifeline...I need it!

"Nope. It's not my thing."

He thanks me as I hold the door open for him. As we walk beside each other, he bumps his shoulder against mine and my heartbeat quickens from the unexpected contact.

"Let me guess. There's a Starbucks or Dutch Brothers right down the street."

He's still profiling me and it's making me feel uncomfortable. I don't know why, but suddenly, I'm feeling very self-conscience.

"Yeah. So?"

I'm nervous and confused. Is it a bad thing? He lets out a gentle laugh and says.

"You're so basic, it hurts."

He grabs his heart and cringes with exaggeration before continuing.

"Do you have an original bone in your body or do you follow the sheep over the cliff?"

He's mocking me, but there's no malice behind his words. Again, I don't know how to respond. It's as if nothing I do is good enough. I know it's not true and I know he's only teasing, but that's how I feel. My bruised ego speaks.

"You'd think there'd be more choices around here, but there's not. There are three Starbucks and two Dutch Brothers, unless you want to go five blocks down? Go ahead, I won't stop you."

I don't actually want him to leave me, though.

"What! It's Portland! They have more local businesses than any other city."

He appears surprised at the lack of small coffee shops.

"Anyway, Starbucks is fine. Actually, both of these companies started in the Pacific Northwest. Starbucks started in Washington and Dutch Brothers started in Oregon."

I notice he's walking with his hands in his pockets, which is something he does a lot!

We stop at Starbucks and I try to pay for his drink, but he refuses. I've never had this problem before as most people welcome my generosity. We walk back to work in relative silence. I'm not being as talkative as usual because, strangely, I'm nervous and afraid I'll say something stupid. Again! Uncertainty and hesitation are not qualities I'm known for.

Colin thanks me for lunch and we part ways on the fifth floor. I wish we were working on the same project together because I feel a pull toward him. I want to know him, I want him to like me, I want to see him laugh, and I want to make him laugh.

Except, I don't need to be spending more time with him at this point. What I need to do is get my confidence back.

I try not to watch him for the remaining work hours, but he doesn't make it easy. He looks hot when he's focusing on his work, when he's laughing with Bethany, and when he's earnestly listening to his colleagues.

Dang! Everything he does is sexy!

At five, I walk to the elevator, stay back, and let the first group go down. Mostly, I'm waiting for Colin. He doesn't appear to be in a hurry to leave, though, as he's slowly gathering stuff from his desk. When the elevator dings and opens, he looks at me and I nod for him to come.

I'll hold the door for you, it's no, problem. I think to myself. He shakes his head no, but mouths thank you.

Ouch! Rejection?

After riding the elevator down, the door opens and I see Colin is ready to walk out of the front door. How did he get down the stairs and across the lobby so fast? He must've bolted because that's five flights!

I try to catch up, without being too obvious, but by the time I cross the lobby and walk out of the doors, he's gone! So, I walk to the parking garage, hoping to spot him on the way, but alas, no sign of him.

I tell myself I'm not disappointed, but I am.

* * COLIN * *

I have an apartment close to ClarkCo in downtown Portland. Normally, an apartment would be stupid expensive because the housing in Portland is stupid expensive, but this place was a total dive! The first time I walked through it, I was mortified! I thought I might need a tetanus shot...no joke!

**

My best mate (Glen), from Columbia, had inherited it, along with a couple of other apartments, from his grandparents. He couldn't see its potential and didn't want to invest any time or money to make it livable or sellable, so he was willing to allow me to buy the dump for pennies on the dollar.

Perfect!

I didn't want, or need, anything fancy and I loved DIY shit. I needed a break between graduation and jumping into work anyway so I bought the building and got started.

My upstairs apartment was actually only part of the building. Underneath me was a vacant business location that needed TLC and then it could provide some income revenue. Since it was a commercial area, there's no yard, but I was lucky enough to get a small, single-car garage with it. Parking downtown is horrendous so having a garage was going to be a lifesaver. I was currently looking to buy a used car because the public transportation on the west coast is nothing, compared to New York!

Anyway, I spent nine months, between graduation and now, fixing up the apartment and business space. Honestly, I didn't expect it to be so hard!

Naïve was me.

One too many DIY shows had me feeling pretty invincible. I'd watched so many YouTube tutorials, I know my clicks and views made those vloggers rich! I ended up hiring out more work than I'd anticipated and went, significantly, over budget. I did do a lot of work myself, though, and since I got the building so cheap, I was still saving a ton of money! My apartment's not completely done, of course, but it's good enough for now.

**

I love my apartment! The big windows, in both the living room and the kitchen, are not quite a wall of windows, but almost. You can see the beautiful view of the streets and buildings of downtown Portland. The way the area is set up almost gives me a panoramic view and I also have a peek of the Willamette River.

The kitchen has a window facing the street, a little bar with two stools, and it's where I have tea and an English muffin with cheese spread for breakfast each morning. I can see ClarkeCo from the window. One of the draws about this apartment (besides the price) is the fact it's only a block away from work.

I didn't want to mess up my business rental so I ended up hiring professionals to finish the downstairs so things would be done according to code.

Months ago, I received sixteen serious inquiries from potential businesses. I narrowed those down to four and then, finally, to one.

Greg and Degen have been working, non-stop, for the last month to get things ready for their business. The opening of their coffee shop bistro (my favorite thing) is supposed to be next Thursday. They're going to serve local Stumptown coffee, Jasmine Pearl tea, and a menu of mostly locally-sourced food for breakfast and lunch.

They're best friends who have always dreamed of running a business together. They love supporting local, small businesses and give generously to the community. It's been fun watching their dream become a reality and I'm hoping to get people from the office to become regulars.

I pack lunches most days, but I'll definitely eat there when I can. I'm passionate about supporting small businesses because they're the lifeblood of the community!

I finish my breakfast, throw on my tie and jacket, and I'm out of the door. It only takes me about ninety seconds to walk to work, but I decide to leave a few minutes early so I can talk to Deb...privately.

* * *

Deb looks up and smiles. She's trying to hide it because we don't know each other. Deb is in her fifties by now, she has super curly, black hair, eyes so dark they're almost black, and the palest skin you've ever seen. Her husband works a few blocks down the road at an accounting firm and they have a daughter, Natalie, who's my age.

Natalie and I have always been close and she's recently been helping, a lot, with the renovations on my apartment. If I were into things like fag hags, then she'd be mine, but I'm not so she's my life long BFF.

Deb's been here for as long as I can remember. She used to let me help transfer calls, shuffle paperwork, run all of her errands, and do most of her grunt work. I loved spending time with her and I'm probably a little too excited to see her every day. She whisper yells.

"You're here! You're finally here! Oh, my! I get to see your face every day!"

She looks at me for another minute before she leans in and says.

"Holy body change, Stan! You've grown a whole foot and gained a hundred pounds! You're unrecognizable!"

"Close enough. Brett said puberty hit me like a Mack truck and I suppose he isn't totally wrong."

I'm blushing. I hate it when people talk about my transformation. I was barely five foot, three inches tall and ninety pounds when I graduated high school. I was small and goofy with shoulder-length, brown hair and hazel eyes, which I hid behind glasses. I think we all thought I was doomed to be small forever, but half way through my freshman year at Columbia, things started changing.

It was so awkward for me because my friends joked that I was Heimlich (from A Bugs Life) when he transforms into a beautiful butterfly. It wasn't exactly a perfect reference, but we all had a good laugh from it. To this day, they still call me Heimlich.

Actually, I don't know how tall I am (roughly six feet, I think?) and I never weigh myself. I'm not bulky with muscles and I'm not super slim, but definitely fit and I traded the long hair for a more professional cut and contacts have replaced the glasses.

"No kidding! Well, you look great, kid!"

She looks around and then leans toward me and quietly says.

"Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me."

She winks and goes back to whatever it is she does.

I leave Deb's desk and start walking across the lobby when I see Charles. He's doing his morning routine of making contact with each person.

Schmoozing. Boy, does he look good doing it! Everyone lights up around Charles. He makes them feel as though no one else is in the room and then he moves on to the next person.

Rinse and repeat.

I don't normally like the Charles' of the world, but I decide to step into stride with him anyway.

"Morning, Charles. How was your commute?"

Why am I smiling like a fool? Oh, gawd, stop!

"Wonderful. You know, with my stupid expensive car, it's always fun!"

His lip curls with humor. He's never going to drop this because he's a money baby and they like their things.