by Allyourbase
This story is one of the few I've seen here that is actually literary. Very well done!
Impressive, touching story. Complex and layered. My favorite on here. Very good.
You express the inner conflicts and mindfuckery of D/s better than just about anyone I've ever read. This is a devastating story, more heartbreaking and less arousing to me than the others of yours I've read. Or perhaps it's just that it's too close to home? Despite its bleakness I'm glad to have read it.
As someone else before me said, close to home. And the ending really gets you. I would love to see more of how it plays out between these two characters.
Having engaged in D/s relationships in the past, and experiencing that intensity.. reading this was like looking a mirror in some ways. I work in a male driven career doing very non-traditional work for a woman, and I've loved that difference between my experience, and life.. and the grandmother who raised 6 kids and obeyed her man.
Until that realization hit.. and your description of it, and the rage and the storm was so very amazing to read. The obedience to a man that is so much more than meets the eye. The traditional role a woman can take.. and thhe cleansing feeling left after you realize that kneeling and obedience are much deeper than a fine dinner and some role play. That submission is much more, and that the learning and pushing of boundaries in that relationship can be intense. It can border on non consent, and the growth from those lessons can be hard won, but so lasting.
I've experienced it, and reading this was like re experiencing it.. it was beautiful. Dark, yes.. but so beautiful.
Your writing is very intelligent and beautiful in all its wonderful nuances. I'm only finding my way around the non-con section, and this type of play is all new to me, but boy, is it hot! The quiet strength and stoicness of your man is a lovely read.
But more than anything it's very refreshing to read an intelligent, feisty, strong and self-reflective female perspective to the proceedings. It's just beautiful and very welcome, and I don't really have the words to describe or analyse all the ways that I appreciate it, so I'll just leave it at that.
I've never been into the whole name-calling thing ("whore", "slut"), as to me it just denotes a woman who enjoys sex, which seems so natural and normal that I find it difficult to identify with the shame etc. :) but I'm sure it works for many people, and you do make the connection with prostitution, which is a more interesting angle anyway.
Being a bit of a sucker for the girl being pushed further than the guy intended, and getting all hurt / broken / temporarily catatonic, and the guy feeling all worried, scared, regretful etc. (what the hell do you call that? martyr play?? LOL) I was hoping she would really have enough, and walk out all broken or something like that, and him finally seeing how it all affected her.. but perhaps in another story.. (hint hint :) God, I'm such a romantic. :)
All in all, incredibly well-written and cleverly constructed story, which gripped me tight the whole time. I'm guessing you're publishing your work for a wider audience as well and getting paid for it. If not, you definitely should.
Not just the sex but also the beautiful almost philosophical social commentary. I've never read such beautiful lines made about domestic life and religion. And in only a few simple sentences. Very nicely done!
... your stories give me very strange dreams. Not to say it's a bad thing, but I do feel like I may need to speak to a therapist...
please keep up the good work!
You capture the essence of submission in a D/s relationship so well. I have long experience with such relationships, and you get it better than anyone else I've ever read. Thank you.
That was amazing. This is literature and I wish it was a whole novel. Going right now to devour anything else you’ve written.
how uniquely poignant. a veritable reflection of the zeitgeist in marital society.
The past is so much simpler and easily digestible. Today you need to fight your coworkers as well as your own spouse for accolades. This will be our demise.
Smokepole