All Comments on 'Story Time'

Far too much detail. Detail is good, but you overdue it, Too many words to say almost nothing. Good story, though. Good luck in the future.

Personally I loved the detail in the story, the passion of it, characters that are likeable and relateable, I loved everything about the story in fact so please continue, story was excellent.

and carefully written. Keep writing from the heart, but inform it from your head. You're good now and you'll only get better. Thank you.

I'm excited to see what you come up with next:)

Sleeplessgurl;

Listen to nobody but yourself...You are doing splendidly!

Personally, I thought it was a great story. I do look forward to their next adventure. I like the bit of humor too, it added to the reality.

As for the criticism, well, take it for what it is. I was recently faulted for using "too many adjectives"... Whatever! Use it to your advantage. It could be what sets you apart from other writers.

If you keep a distribution list of fans, please add me to it!

Very sweet, very romantic, very innocent, very hot. Excellent writing, likeable characters... this one has everything except darkness. And even I don't need darkness all the time!

Well written, great pace, good humor, and I especially liked the element of realism that was carried throughout. The shifting perspective kept it interesting. I loved the innocence and naughtiness rolled into one. Loved it!

Deliciously sweet and hot! Thank you :)

I'm with the majority here -- wonderful story. :)

There's a subgenre of movies about moviemaking (All That Jazz, Barton Fink, Ed Wood, etc) that I've never cared for much. Conceptually bankrupt is one description that comes to mind. So, I was suspicious about a story that seems to be about writing erotic fiction. I shouldn't have been.

'Story Time' is written with such disarming honesty, that I probably would have loved it regardless of the theme. But when Kate starts reflecting on her own motives for writing erotic fiction, WOW, 'Story Time' hits home right from the start. I learned a lot about my own motives from Kate, things I never bothered to think about, but certainly should have.

Something else happens in ST that's truly exceptional in online erotic fiction. We meet two sexy and immensely sympathetic charcters who are totally in lust, but are repressing their true feelings out of a sense of loyalty (James) and social convention (Kate). Of course, it's Kate's erotic musing that allows them to recognize their mutual longing. But there's such as feeling of authenticity that the hookup seems almost inevitable, and not all all contrived.

Here's a story written in the third person that actually takes full adantage of the narrative potential of the omnipresent observer. And the climax, well, that feels powerfully genuine and beautifully described as well.

Thoughtful, sensitive and exquisitely written!

A good first effort. Please keep writing and sharing your stories with us.

Great stuff! Hot and sexy! I look forward to reading more!

First submission or not, this is a great story...sexy, romantic, and fun, with lots of promise for more amazing, passionate sex between these two young lovers. It's important for a writer of erotica to nail the consummation scene, and you did. Their first time together is HOT. As a guy, I felt like I wanted to be in his place. I can't say enough about how much I was turned on by the sex scene. I favorited this and I WILL be re-reading it. I'm also going to check out your other stories. Keep up the great work.

Detail was great. keep writeing looking forward for more.

Looking forward to reading the rest of your fantasies myself....!

Can I find them here soon?

A great start to what promises to be a well thought out and written story. I look forward to reading the next chapter. As this is my first foray into your writing and the first story you posted here I have added you to my favorites list. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination (memories?) and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.