All Comments on 'Strange Car in the Driveway - A Sequel'

Best burn to a Psycho Bitch from the Deepest Darkest shit holes of Hell. Best to keep her locked up in a one way cell that never had a key to open it once occupied.

Back for my quarterly read hahaha

So basically she did it because she's bat-shit crazy? Hmm I dunno I didn't really pick up that vibe in the original though I suppose it's possible. I'd prefer a more down-to-earth explanation not involving her being nuts; just stupid and selfish, and then a reconciliation.

You Rock Matt!! Always have. Thanks for sharing and putting yourself out there constantly

I can't make my mind up, but am falling on the side of, not that good,

This is not remotely like the original story. Became dark and twisted and sinister. Wth? The revenge was crazy over the top. People like this who read the original? What went from being tricked and duped and going too far to NPD, Schizophrenia, etc. Huh?

Interpreting the ending, you're saying she never saw her children again??

Always difficult commenting on a sequel by a different author. This sequel addressed my concerns when I read the original story. She's mentally ill was my my exact thought. OK the revenge was a little heavy and the lack of explanation of Reg and Penny's ultimate motives made the ending seem rushed. Still a good plot and conclusion.

Good story. Maybe over the top on the diagnosis of wife's medical illness, but her conduct certainly was extremely cruel and thoughtless.

To all the Literotica lawyers. Warrantless vehicle searches are lawful under US Supreme Court precedent if the police have Probable Cause to believe there is contraband in the vehicle. In fairness, PC is razor thin here though a combination of wife's admission about removing the gun and Reg's statements when Gary got home might (barely) make it.

A bit thin and cut and dried.

Matt took a clever little story meant to seem humorous and turned it very dark.

From a point of view of plot, characters, research, editing etc. it is a 5.

Caveat, The destruction of a family by mental illness was torment for my soul.

In my opinion, the author should have continued the story to a good ending for the husband and children.

I guess I am a Romantic at heart.

The Hoary Cleric

Maybe a little heavy handed with both the drug thing and the mental illness of Vera, but it all sort of comes together in a way that helps me understand how she could have done such a thing. Good writing.

I agree with the prognosis of Vera. It's the only thing, in my mind, that can explain her cruel behavior towards her husband.

Good ending to a frustrating original story.

4 *

OK i am not one to defend cuckold stories on the other hand if you like em go for it. Now some i get annoyed by the overkill like this one i have read several versions and for the life of me i think i would laugh in relief then rage om the room and car go for a bit of camping, then see the humour GTF over myself lest i think so. But, well written interesting dialog but have i to of missed something, and this one does explain what was missed oddly(maybe ironically) this version would make a great play(very metta) were what was created in your twists could be performed with some nuance to make it a less jarring ending though a Narcissistic actor/writer dam dude close to home lol

This was a little too pat. Wife ruined, husband gets promoted, kids are in his custody, bad actors end up in jail, etc. only thing missing is a new, beautiful woman for hubby Gary. Gave it 4 stars anyway for pretty good writing and for originality. Thanks.

a silly sequel to a silly story. I've often complained about writers lack of imagination but these two authors seem to have gone 'over the top'

I enjoyed the start, but then you delved too far away from a wife that seemed to love her husband but had royally fucked up, or screwed the pooch as they say.

Staying that route would have made a far better story than the direction you ended up going.

I remember reading this once before and I may have been less critical and usually the second time through will resolve that issue for me.

The part with Karen I think, was spot on, and decently done, but this died a long death once he saw she never called him.

Sorry.

If the original by edrider73 left me cold with it’s gratuitous humiliation of the husband (Gary), this ‘part 2’ version left me even colder with gratuitous cruelty against the wife (Vera) and their children by removing them from her. 3 stars.

Normally I like your stuff. This was just a little too much so not my normal high marks.

anon.1

Oh Legio, I never see it in you to nitpick. What about the story though?

BATF doesn't investigate local firearms theft, unless Federal crimes are involved. In this case... none were. Also, without actionable PC (probable cause), if Rog didn't want his vehicle searched, the police would've needed either a search warrant or, if an outside check of the vehicle by a canine revealed contraband, they would then have probable cause to search. Gary's assertion that "it's either in their home or their SUV" is not probable cause.

Just one comment on an otherwise good story conclusion: police would still need a SW for a vehicle not owned by the Property Holder, even if it is on PP. SW are based on PC, but the PC provided in the story would not be enough for a warrant, thus making the evidence found “fruits of the poisonous tree” and would be suppressed.

Otherwise and entertaining story. Thanks!

I don’t like it when people excuse Evil as mental illness.

Who was manic depressive then and which would now be in the vein of Bipolar now was batshit crazy even when she did take her medication. When my attorney asked me who her psychiatrist was I told him and his response was "I'm sorry to hear that." Some things you never forget, even decades later. It seems after reading about Vera I was still correct about my ex but Vera is off the charts. The story was a wee bit of a stretch in a couple of places but it's fiction, I hope, and is the best of 'Strange Car...' stories.

I thought GA's version was good but I had a problem with the wife and Reg jumping into bed after believing Gary had committed suicide. But if you take this version of the wife into account I'd have to rethink that. I did wonder why in GA's version they weren't surprised at not finding his body in the bedroom where they fucked, after all that's where her letter, script and the tablet they were listening on were. Signed: BTW

This is by far the best.

This is the sequel that I was looking for. Even though Vera gets off by being a psycho , everyone else gets burned pretty well. Especially good punishment for the boss and the college professor.

Ooh, someone got sectioned! Sweet dreams, Vera. Get well soon.

Better than the original by far, but the conclusion is far too easy.

I am a fan of your writing, Matt, but you really went overboard with this one. I am not an expert, but know a good bit and based on what I know, while she may be a narcissist, I don't see any obvious symptoms of psychopathy, schizophrenia, nor evidence of alternate personalities. I don't think it's necessary for the wife to have any serious mental illness at all. All that's necessary is a wife isolated by pursuing a new interest and a smart seducer ready to take advantage of the situation. He used writing the play as a way to get her to imagine why she might have an affair and to get her used to the idea of justifying her husband's pain for her own selfish purposes. And not just justifying it, but actually doing it. She became her own Dr. Mengele, experimenting on and torturing not strangers, but her husband, which makes her worse. The fact that the woman didn't cheat in the play may mean the wife never would, but that doesn't change what she did do. It was probably just overenthusiasm, thoughtlessness, making false assumptions, and poison being dripped in her ears by others that caused her to do what she did, maybe. I feel that you catastrophized the ending with the mental illness to justify the husband getting custody and the wife's incarceration and it just didn't ring true for me. It seemed like you were placating the BTB crowd. There's nothing wrong with a good BTB story as long as it doesn't seem obvious. You're a good writer, I'm a fan, it's your version of this universe, so what you say goes, and I did enjoy reading it, but it just didn't ring true for me.

She has a severe Narcissistic Personality Disorder, with elements of psychopathy, too. She also suffers from Schizophrenia and a Dissociative Identity Disorder."

I didn't know this story was about my ex-wife 😁

Very well written, this sequel was far better then the original ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I don’t know that you can call the first one a classic given it’s score

The first story made me sick, it was interesting, but sick. I think I made a comment that I wouldn't even think to do something like that to my worst enemy, nevermind my spouse.

I only have two quibbles about this story, the first being I can't see the University dept being at fault. Just can't see them being responsible about a creative writing/drama arts dept play. I don't remember them saying that they were actually going to reenact this in such a way.

The second is even more trivial, and that is I just can't imagine how a person that is that fucked in the head, would actually break down after sentencing. Both very minor points as author turned a twilight zone scenario into the realm of sanity.

I'm not sure what story Helen1899 read, but it obviously wasn't this one. This was actually an improvement on the original. I'd recommend Helen put down the bottle or the narcotics.

The original story could have been great, but lacked a cohesive ending. I was thrilled when I found this, but I wished I had missed it. It was just awful, undeserving to be linked with a good author like Edrider73. It started sensibly enough but after that it was all down hill, I hate stories were children get hurt badly, there is no place for them on Literotica. Was there any need for Reg and Penny to have children? there was no mention of them in the original, I am sure they were included to shock. Did the story really need the drugs bust no. I could go on all day about Vera's illneses, but won't bore you with my thoughts.

Even if some self proclaimed geniuses are offended.

You took an interesting and thought provoking original story and put a stupid BTB second chapter on it. I feel so sorry for authors like you and the people who vote 5 stars for a story like this. I can’t imagine how miserable your lives must be for you to enjoy a story like this.

Gave this a 5 because it was so well written like your other stories.

However I have a little heartburn with the plot. First of all Vera never called her husband all night. His phone should have been filled with missed calls and messages. Her sudden manifestation of a mental illness was not enough to cover this. I also have a little problem with that diagnosis as too extreme to not have manifested itself at some time since college.

Next, when Gary enters his house the next morning, he finds Reg , his wife and Vera all in the living room on a sofa with his arms around both women. (Why would he be touching Vera if he had not already done something.) They were deep in conversation. How do three people have a serious conversation without at least one face the others? Also why were they even there that early? They could not really expect Gary to just show up. And if they did they would not have been sitting there all snuggled up hip to hip? Were they there all night?

Next the drugs. Ok Reg and Penny were scum and had evil intentions, but if they were waiting for Gary to drug him, they would have needed some of the roofies in a pocket, ready at hand. They would not have assumed Gary would let them back inside on another occasion.

Rider's story has Vera committing a cruel act against her husband and her marriage. It certainly does suggest she has some barely surpressed anger. In general, for the years of her marriage, she was a normal loving human being. The genius of the origional story was it all followed once one accepted suspension of belief of the play, and the plot was quite origional in all resprects. However, this ending was singularly filled with every BTB trope there is. It is totally incongerous with the origional story. I think a sequal should continue the story elements and style,

It failed miserably by that standard.

Chilley

Thank you for a much better ending to the story. Elrider does write great stories, but with this one he really messed up the ending.

Much better ending, well done

This way in the real world but this is much better than the other sequels and it had to come from across the pond. One thing I noticed was it was one of Randi's pals that got it right. I said after reading GA's version that Vera was delusional, seems someone else thought so to and wrote it that way, good job MBUK. Signed: BTW

Great ending to the story by edrider73!! If he had not decided to fail in his attempt to entertain he might have had a very good story! Anyway you made a up for it!!

Good story, great ending.

I see Timriv has changed his profile, but is still up to his same old games.

His old profile told us how his SECOND wife also CHEATED, but being the enlightened, modern man that he is. He KEPT her. But still criticizes almost anyone who won't do the same.

I have read a number of stories in this category(LW) and they ALWAYS penalize the husband, even if, and it sometimes seems, especially if, the wife has shown callous disrespect for the husband and/or moral depravity in her extra marital sex life! (neither constitute a good example for their children) Although I cannot affect the miscarriages of justice in US 'family court' This ending gives me hope that other people out there realize just how coorrupt and naive the judges in that section often perform. Any judges or lawyers reading, forget your personal opinion AND GET IT FIXED! Great Story, Thank You 5*****

If this story doesn't rate 5 stars, no story does.

I've read all takes on the story and yours is the best.

I loved this except the end. Sometimes people ARE responsible for their shitty actions and using medical terms was a cop out for the wife.

I read the original story some time ago. Bits and pieces of this story sound familiar as well so I guess I've read it before as well.

The writing in this story was Technically good, certainly good by Lit standards. I think I caught one typo/misspelling, but that's minor to the plot and didn't slow me down. There could be more, I miss my own constantly.

It sounded to pat to me, everything fell in place, and 'consequences' or not this story falls right in to the BTB type - in my opinion - that and a dollar'll get a cup of coffee. Everything about his revenge, the boss getting canned, the promotion being delayed, the uber boss taking his side etc etc was just too simplistic and not nearly as convoluted as real life.

However, if you want to punish the wife for cruel and unusual punishment, she got punished in this story. I voted five because it was interesting and kept my attention all the way through. Even if I would have done it differently it was a good take.

Well done. Amazinging true to the original storyline and thorough in every detail. A very satisfying alternate ending.

Now THIS is a proper ending...not that ridiculous attempt by GA.

Well done! I would have added some extensive misery for Vera, but then I'm a vindictive SOB! LOL ;)

Enjoyed this a great deal. Thanks. 5*

The woman was sick, yes sick. If she had cancer people would have sympathy but because it's an unseen illness she gets treated like she had total choice in her behaviour. She didn't commit adultery. Once the diagnosis was confirmed her husband and family should have rallied round to get her treatment. Well written but the ending and treatment of a sick person was too harsh. 4 stars - took one off because of the ending.

Dovetailed quite nicely from the original. Respect for taking it to a pretty good conclusion which is not an easy task.

The ending was overkill.

Sequel beginning and middle very good but ending sucked

Don't expect total realism don't even want BUT

Throw way out left or if you want right field events with no precursor NO

Wanted revenge got revenge but not parallel to suffering

Liked school and teacher paid for their part boss got hers Good

Ending no

Logins forgetful johntwheels@aol

...but I never saw it going this far. You made a compelling case for mental illness. That was intense, but very good. Thank you.

Much better ending.

I get a little tired of the need for small minded people to have someone else finish his stories. Have things really gotten so bad that we have no imagination and need someone else to finish a story? Well here is a news flash, NO STORY IS EVER FINISHED! Even if the sun goes nova tomorrow will the story be finished so get over it.

because of the psycho babble bullshit about the wife being mentally ill.

If you kept to the history of the character, she was just a heartless cruel individual.

Liked this finish to the story. Foolish, manipulative wife got exactly what she deserved.

ENJOYABLE ENOUGH ALTHOUGH I THINK A LITTLE SYMPATHY BY HER HUSBAND TOWARDS HER AFTER DISCOVERING HER SICKNESS (after all people who suffer from these complaints usually need all the help they can get,wonder the husband never noticed her condition and needs before) DIVORCE YES,BUT MAYBE SPEND SOME OF THE AWARD MONEY TO HELP HER CONDITION RATHER THAT BTB ATTITUDE, GOOD FOLLOW UP STORY,THANKS, 4⭐️. P.

Bizarre ending of original story improved to more realistic ending. Some might think a cliche but bizarre stuff of original story is even more of a counterpoint cliche lacking any resolution.

You may be right about the way the fucked uo courts act, but I liked this ending. It may not be what would happen on the real world, but it is what they deserve. GOOD STORY. And yes, somebody needs to finish the unending supply of unfinished ERIDER stories.

A great ending that wraps up the original nicely. The wife was clearly sick in the head to be that cruel, so a lifetime in the nuthouse was a fitting reward.

You probably went a little overboard making Vera a crazy woman, but since most all of Edrider's female characters are bat-shit-crazy, I guess it wasn't much of a stretch. Thanks for finishing ONE of Ed's messes. Now how's about you finish the rest of Ed's messes? God I miss FTDS!

So much better than the original.

Evryone involved got what they deserved. Just wonderful.

Thanks it was a little over the top but playing god with others emotional health for your own entertainment is not forgivable.

Nice fantasy BTB story but would never happen like that. The woman was stupid but not nuts. Even if Norm committed her and jailed the other two all would be overturned on appeal. Wife would get the kids, the house, most of the assets, alimony and child support and hubby would end up footing her legal bill. If you are going to finish the story make it realistic not some male troglodyte’s fanatasy.

Actually a good exposition of how messed up a woman would have to be to try this scheme. 4*, instead of the 3 I originally gave.

Given the comments I left on the alternative sequel you did a great job.

I like your other stuff too!!

Awesome follow up. *****

With all due respect, edrider73s original story was just like all of his others. The women are all basically assholes, the men are always getting shit on by the asshole women oft times for no good reason. The men are all weak, not allowed to stand up for themselves, and that's how they are left by the author. I don't know what his goal is in telling such stories. It's almost as if he secretly believes that all men should be abused regardless. Maybe it's just that I don't understand the genre, but it seems like a bunch of garbage to me. I thank you for finishing this story. It's not quite how I would have done it but then again I'm not an author.

It was, however, a story of consequences.

The original was a classic. I now wish I hadn't read this "sequel". None of the characters held up to their characterization in the better story. They turned into one-dimensional BTB caricatures. I've seen BTB done very well... This was not.

I don't have to imagine that, I already know it can be the case. Some counsellors do know during the first session that the relationship can't be saved and that further sessions would be pointless.

Each page got worse. I finally skimmed the last page.

Can you imagine ANY couples' counselor saying that therapy wouldn't work, after just one meeting?

Then the story progresses from believable to total BTB. I could believe that his boss (Karen?) was in it to sink him, EXCEPT in her letter "You won't believe how hard she tried hard to talk me out of doing this." and the promotion wasn't to be announced for another month. You changed the story, not recommended for a sequel.

Then, the drugs?? Really.

Anyway, I wish that the story progressed as it started. The mental games they played would be interesting.

ttom

Not great but well written and clear.

4*s

You have to make a story believable if your going to be any good. You failed terribly, especially toward the end where her psycological death sentence was handed down. First you should do some study or your own evaluations and read up on outcomes of those. The setup ... unbelievable to prove such a simple question to answer, the reason for the setup ... unfathomable to anyone with a half brain, and the answer to the dilemma that wasn’t yet a dilemma because the wife never bedded the idiot. That’s the outcome you stated, your the story teller. You must hate women and especially women of power because you burned his boss for simply helping a wife, with some far out excuse why she wanted to use this situation to her advantage and you burned Vera by putting her FAITHFUL ass away for good without seeing her kids much writing::6 storyline::2 inventiveness::O I’ve heard the this many times before

I quite liked the story, well written.

1 star

I feel I wasted my time reading this story. Sorry.

Totally stupid and implausible, typical BTB author who obviously hates women.

Original story was excellent and a sequel would be nice but a realistic one would be nice not this crap.sorry Matt but this is definitely a D- story.

Maybe the wife was wrong , but this is piece of male chauvinistic pile of crap .

"There seems to be a little contradiction in Karen's attitude between Vera's description of her willingness to participate, and Karen's explanation to Thomas."

Karen quickly realised that she could use Vera's batty idea to her own ends. Of course she appeared reluctant to Vera as she didn't want to frighten Vera off my seeming to be too enthusiastic to the idea, to make it appear to Vera that Vera had managed to convince Karen to help her.

Maturely handled and presenting a fairly plausible conclusion with only one minor caveat. She was nuts? That psychobabble was the necessary device to succintly explain her delf destructive behaviour when the the persuasive influence of a predatory couple and the suggestion of drug use was present, seems a mite too neat and easy an answer for the why of it. Investigation of her narcissism might have yielded a firmer explanation but I accept that such problems are part of the legacy inherited from the original tale.

But I stil enjoyed it. Thanks for writing. 4*

No doubt about it this story was like mouthwash cleaning out the murky shit Ed's original left behind. I liked Ed's tale and gave it a five; I really liked this one.

I do have two problems.

If Reg was a rich stockbroker there's no way he's going to jail, maybe a fine, loss of his license, but no jail time. Had he been some poor black kid on the other hand he would have gotten the jail time. That's the way our American system of justice works.

Second, Vera would have gotten custody and the 70/30 split. I liked that you locked her up for a nut case, but in America she would have had to already killed the kids to get noticed, regardless of tests.

I'm glad Ed's still alive. I'm glad you wrote this sequel. Regrettably FTDS is deceased. Maybe you could fill his shoes, there are a lot of JPBs that need that elixir. (Just kidding. Don't tell JPB I said that.)

Thanks again.

that turned the original story into something else. I think you got right a lot of things, like the cruelty and careless ways the wife showed towards her husband.

I can't say I enjoyed it because it was a dark tale with no real winners, but it was a well written story, that brought some justicie into the original tale.

...may be the story would have been more believable if the wife had been exposed to be an alien and Reg and Penny to be Mr & Mrs Santa Clause...

A fitting and sound resolution to the original travesty that was the "strange car" saga. To fuck with a loved one's head is almost as bad as the real thing (to put it bluntly in pun).

Smokepole

"Before we left the coffeehouse, he told me a little about himself, Penny and their kids. I joked that I felt safe, knowing he wasn't an actor. He asked me what I meant, and I told him about Kara's opinions of actors and her warning.

His eyes lit up, and he asked me, what if it wasn't a joke? What if he and I had an affair while we were working on our plays?

I asked him whether he had lost his mind, and he said something like that could easily happen, and it would make for great drama. I said I didn't think I could write that kind of play, but he said to try.

With a lot of pushing by Reg, I managed to do it."

It was Reg who gave Vera the idea, Reg who pushed her into completing it, Reg who provided the speakers, the motion detectors, etc.

So, tricking Gary was all there was in it for Reg? That's very unlikely. And, as Penny was waiting at the Denny's with Reg and Vera, so must have known about the plan to trick Gary, Penny must have been in on the whole plan. And unless there would be something in it for her, too, why would she bother to be there to meet with Gary at Denny's?

The clues as to what would happen were all in the letter from Vera.

you.

This was a MB tale?

Different and a bit disjointed. Not bad overall but it left a lot of things hanging.

Gave it 4* for potential instead of 3*

It certainly was not the story I expected after reading the original. Regretably, it would appear that Vera was not the only sicko. A good number of the anonymous commentators would fit right in there.

Just saying.

...that you might have meant this as a joke, as satire. Perhaps you were "baiting the bears", so to speak, with some "raw meat" designed to bring out the mean little pit vipers who live only to spew venom at women.

If so, it worked. I was fooled as well. Otherwise, my previous comment stands.

Rutty

Yes. "Mouth breathers" and their revenge fantasies intellectually cockblocking your desire to read the "eroticism" of decent men being hurt and betrayed by their own wives. Someone here certainly hates a gender.

I could not finish this. It became mindless hate fantasy on the first page.

What is it with these weak, cardboard cutout male characters who have no inner strength unless it is expressed by hurting women? The play was very ill-advised, but then he goes completely off the rails. Unbelievable actions in a man with children to raise, but perfectly acceptable to the LW morons who exist only to savagely hate women at every opportunity.

Stories like these, these rote expressions of adolescent male rage really suck the pleasure out of what I had hoped to be some erotic reading. It may please the mouth-breathers who have given you high marks, but this is some really sad stuff in my opinion.

Rutty