by soul71
For the record, Johns Hopkins is located in Baltimore, not Boston. And that's when you lost me....
First, why are they in Boston if he's going to Johns Hopkins?? Don't you think that that's kind of a long commute each day to class seeing as Johns Hopkins is located in Baltimore!! Second, there's no need to mention in every other sentence just how big his cock is. We get it! He has a giant dick. Lastly, I don't know what this Camp Bare Rump is but it doesn't sound like a place where he'll be doing incest porn which was the main plot of the story (hence the title!).
You're right it is in Baltimore but this is fiction I can place it anywhere I want.
First you had me on the verge of cumming, good erotic literature.
As far as criticisms, Johns Hopkins is in Baltimore, Harvard Medical is in Boston, that's the easy fix to the story.
Also it does not take 16 hours to drive from South Carolina to Boston, much less Baltimore. Driving from Los Angeles to Mendocino, CA takes about 14 hours but the last 4 hours is from San Francisco to Mendocino and most of that is on river or coastal roads with switchback turns and slalom twists where driving at 40 mph feels fast. While driving from South Carolina to both Boston and Baltimore is on basically straight highways where you can drive 65 mph and feel like your going too slow. The easy fix, don't try to do drive times unless you are really anal and go to google maps or Mapquest to get estimated drive times.
Last criticism, you have some grammar problems, the fix is use a word processor like MS Word and use grammar and spell check to fix your mistakes.
Other than that this was a good read that almost made me cum.
Would really like to see the father get his gambling addiction under control then team up with his son to DP and Spit Roast Lula, sis and mom. for that sick old pervert with the money.
I did and that was what Google gave me for the drive time from Greenville sc to Boston. And yes I did use an editor if you got a problem with it take it up with her. Though I'm laugh my ass off while she tears into you just saying.
Man, wtf are those nitpicking comments. Are you guys here to read some good erotic stories or are you here to analyze every single goddamn thing?
Don't listen to them, you have many fans but unfortunately, these nitpickers are louder - doesn't mean they're bigger in numbers. ;)
I can't wait for part 3!
Agreed my friend my fans do outnumber them by leaps and bounds. Thank you for those kind words.
Not going to bother with any critique, but I may read the next installment, and see if any suggestions were given any consideration.
Some writers who do not want to hear any feedback disable that option...'
So in part 1 he gets drugged and raped by his family, then in part 2 without a second thought he invites his mother and sister up to Boston to visit / live with him. A tad far fetched, if it were myself I don't think I could stand to ever see any of them again, and possibly be contacting the police.
Having said that, it's still a fantastic story and has legs to go a long way (preferably with the father ending up in deep sh*t for all the crap he's caused)
Also any geographical inaccuracies in a work of fiction are petty, it's a make believe situation in a make believe world, Shakespeare made mistakes, but no one seems to care about them, deal with it people, lol
Hello everyone,
I know this has nothing to do with this series, however, I'm at an impasse with the next part in part six of A Son Forced. I can't decide on which two ways that I have come up with, so I'm giving my fans a change to offer some imput how they see the next part going. So if you have any ideas shot me an email and if I like it we'll talk.
Love the story, but you have him going to John Hopkins, but it is in Baltimore, not Boston...
Guess you didn't bother to read my comment on it but I've already addressed that issue.
So whats the point of not having any father-daughter incest when it was in the first chapter?
It's the only reason why i read this...
I did tell you at the end of the first one there wasn't going to be any in the second one not my fault if you didn't read it well enough.
I enjoy this story and your writing. But go back and edit the errors out. However yes it does take about 16 hours from South Carolina to Boston. As I regularly drove from Charlotte North Carolina to Connecticut and that is 12 to 13 hours so that is correct. John's Hopkins is not in Boston, easy fix.. I agree the constant mentioning of his big dock doesn't make the story hotter I block it out. He has to much dick and no humanly possible
For it to go all the way in any pussy without serious damage again pussy and assholes are not the same. And the thickness is still below average for that size. Just do some google searches and your stories will be perfect.
I'm a fan since the first the first story I read. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.
Ok I can see where this is going your going to take them to a place with other guys and in the end he is going to lose all of them not sure I wanna finish this series or not if it is going the way it reads to be going honestly I wasn't a fan of the drugging,rape and bringing the other girls outside the family in too many kinks involved that wasn't listed
I'm not sure who that idiot is that said it doesn't take 16 hours to drive from south Carolina to Boston is but depending upon where you start in south Carolina it does take 16 hours and the writer is right from Greenville to Boston it takes around 16 hours maybe a little less or longer depending upon the traffic I have made that drive before
As far as saying John Hopkins is in Boston who the hell cares about that it's tribal when being used in a fiction story just like the size of the guys dick