All Comments on 'Strike Three. You're Out! Pt. 03'

The RAAC attempt and almost MattMoreau..............The cheater exwife saved the exhusband from the RAAC. Yes a female author!

More likely? Jeremy ran over Mike, crushing his legs and off he drove. Never to be seen again. Rocco was arrested since he was there when the cops came to get Mike.

The gun cost him 10 years in prison. Mike never walked again. Paige spent the rest of her days in and out of homeless shelters. End of stupid story.

This installment was not so hot. Not much here to like. Gave Part 1 and 2 Four Stars. Part 3 really fell flat. 2 Stars would be generous given the lost memory gimmick.

No matter what anyone types in the comments, you ended with a winner. The fact that Roocco didn't finish Jeremy off was out weighed be the shitting of the pants (so much for the Army war hero). I was sad that he lost Paige a second time though.

I will believe that you had this ending in mind from the start but if not it was good to see that some of the ideas the readers gave were incorporated

Look forward to your next one..

Just turrible. It's like a bad plotline from General Hospital with bits of boring Skinamax porn tossed in. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Maxi - That was really good. Right up until the end, I thought they would be able to get past it, and get back together. Glad he got his revenge on the dickweed that caused all the problems.

That was some soap opera grade nonsense.

He should have listened to his mother. Failing that, he shouldn't have put up with the doctor's bullshit: Lying to her about the past was just going to make it more painful for him and less likely for her to get her memories back.

He really earned his misery there. It's not his "Shortly after your last memories of us being happily married, we somehow drifted apart for uninteresting reasons unspecified" story was making anyone happy, and actually telling the truth had the possibility of leading to... well, exactly where the lie led, except without the sudden shock causing her to flee. Nothing you could do about an aneurysm, but it's entirely possible that telling the truth could have led to him being able to spend that last day with her.

Oh, and he was her only option while she recovered... except for the fact that she still had family, and he knew exactly where they lived, but neither of them ever contacted them? (That's even leaving out the many ways they could have used tax or other records to get her current job and address.)

On a narrative level, having her die like that was just cheap and over-the-top. It means that the last decision she made was to abandon him one more time, and then she was taken from him immediately without any chance for even a conversation. Blech.

And, "his father's Saturday Night Special"? A Saturday Night Special is a cheap low-quality disposable handgun. It's not like his father would have a special one to pass on from father to son. Did you mean his service weapon, maybe?

A good story but very dark and sad...Should he have killed the SOB? Of course not! Looking over his shoulder all his life would be worst than death. When Paige died, Rocco even if alive, died with her: "He cried as he drove out into the darkness"...4*

Well done.

Actually I like the first two chapters fairly well. But this is just a vile piece of useless shit. Having a wife and you have memory back to the point when they were married is a tactic used in several other LW stories. But in those stories the authors have the decency not to have the husband's take back the ex-wife who at one point was a lying cheating whore.. like this one was.

Not only does he take her back but then just when you begin to think about reconciliation she leaves him again and then the offer has heard I?

This is just masochism beating up on the husband Time After Time After Time.

Turning their bedroom into a crypt? Wearing the wedding ring on a necklace?

Awful silly and cruel

Had to give it a 3 for the cheese factor alone.

Rocco's balls were on the menu and apparently delicious for this author.

Somewhat entertaining however.

I will be commenting on the entire story here.

Ch One - Her old boyfriend broke their engagement, probably because she cheated, now she cheated on her fiance Rocco with the old boyfriend, and sends him a "Dear John" letter that anyone who reads these stories knows is deadly.!

His "sainted" mother? I'm not Catholic, or even Christian, but isn't "sainted" used when referring to a deceased person?

As for the timing of the letter arriving when and where it did, I think we can chalk it up to "literary license."

He wasn't swearing AT the Chaplain, it was more of an exclamation.

Ch Two - After the miscarriage he was doing so much for her that she asked him to stop! So much for being "inattentive" in her time of need!

"Jeremy is taking me and will see to my safety and comfort because you're not here to be the husband I need right now." - Sounds like Jeremy is going to be the "husband" she "needs"!

"while I was stuck alone to deal with my grief" - Again, she rebuffed him for being TOO attentive!

It's one thing getting nude for a massage, but you don't strip down in front of the masseur, even in a professional environment, which this wasn't!

"Damn, girl, you've got beautiful tits" - Not exactly a professional comment!

"Ten-inch cock?" I know that she FANTASIZED about his big cock. story would have been better if he had at most a normal large cock instead of a porn star cock, maybe even have it be no larger than Rocco's

Why didn't she take the other woman's husband with her back to the room?

"Last night I broke it off." - It took most of the night to break it off?

Maybe his pain wasn't as deep as hers, but it was just as real, and it shouldn't be denigrated.

Please learn the difference between "past" and "passed." Passed is the past tense of pass; past is getting beyond something, either physically or metaphorically.

"Why are you leaving? You can't leave me!" - YOU already left him!

Ch Three - Why make up team names?

I agree with those who ask why she couldn't be taken in by her family. Yes, her family disowned her, but he DIVORCED her! Why should he be any more ready to take care of her than her own family?

He never slept in their bedroom? Why? Did he know that she fucked Jeremy there?

Sorry, maybe I'm just a cold bastard, but I would have just walked out of the hospital without seeing her, giving the doctor the contact info for her family. I also would have long since moved on with someone else.

Harry loved it..........it was ok but I won't get as excited about it as old harry.

4*

There for the Grace of God go I?...Makes You think twice about getting Involved with a Woman?...Well what do I think of the story?.. Great!...The lead Character what Bummer of life He has!.....So That's My Comment 5 Stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

Except for him being an umpire, I don't really see the "three strikes."

I would have expected to see Page get a second, then a third chance, or for Rocco to have a third love after Page and Paige.

Good story, with a sad ending for Rocco and Paige. Nice that Jeremy didn't get away with his evil doings. All in all, I liked it a lot. With the recent offerings in LW, this was War and Peace.

I will give this a 5***** to encourage you to write more in the future.

You could finish Rocco's story leaving it here in a sad place . His revenge is way to late and all the wifes and husband now know of Jeremy's conquests. Many more marriages destroyed.

This story was as pointless as “Rocco”s miserable life

You really didn’t need to switch narrators; the way this was written, you could easily have kept it in first person. That was a real weakness.

The BTBastard was ended decently. No wild scenarios, no ex-Navy SEALs, just the way a normal guy could do it.

It would have been nice to see them live happily ever after or at least had him call her and tell her all was forgiven and he was coming for her. That way she'd at least had died happy.

Oh well, still a good story. Hope to see more.

Enjoyed very much. Thanks for sharing.

and a new world has begun, TK U MLJ LV NV

This author did a great job on this story.

Congrats to the author!.... and please keep writing more stories like that as we LW readers are missing quality tales like yours.

Lovely,

KP

But you had to cuck and shit on him. 3*

Rocco's life was just sad. After him taking such a hard line with Paige, to RaaC the ending didn't feel very consistent with the last chapter. Worst of all, you turned him into a cuckold and had him go for reconciliation... then killed off Paige.

So he got shit on by two cheating wives.

Swallowed his pride to take his "soulmate" back.

Still ended up depressed, grieving, and alone.

It's at a Matt Moreau level of dumping on the poor husband.

He was still a punk ass weak cuck for taking her back and she was still a whore, albeit a dead one.

Thank you, I loved it.

I thought the story was very good. The story seemed real to me as did the dialogue. The only negative was the length of the first chapter, which you rectified. Many of us authors make mistakes which the readers of the LW section will call us on. Keep on writing and improving. Good job on this story.

So he's a wimp. He carries the wedding ring from his cheating wife on a chain that he wears. No wonder he can't get into a date with anyone else. Then, because his wife is injured, it cancels her cheating, kind of? Then she is magically dead to close off a story that had nowhere to go. But wait, there's more. He goes after Jeremy with an empty gun and then lets OTHER guys beat Jeremy up. What a man.

Sorry, after all the sad sacking, plot cliches, and wimpy pining for a cheating wife, I have trouble getting into the story.

Thank you . 5 stars

. . . which pissed off Harry has to be worth a second look!

Yeah, amnesia is an obscenely overused plot device, but there's always some suspension of disbelief required, so I can overlook that. That Rocco would have still loved the wife he felt he had to dump because she cheated on him with Jeremy is the part that pissed off so many readers, but has to be a real world thing. Rocco couldn't stay with her because his pride was injured made readers like Harry think that he was a real; man, but if he actually loved Paige as much as he was described as doing, that would still exist. Heck, that's the basis for all of the reconciliation stories!

Through the amnesia plot device, he gets a second chance, like a computer reset back to a time when everything worked. It still takes him time to get over his hurt enough for Rocco and Paige to start acting like loving husband and wife again, but Rocco manages it. Then, when her memory returns, she is so embarrassed by what she had done, and Rocco's forgiveness of it that she had to flee.

Harry wrote, "But in those stories the authors have the decency not to have the husband's take back the ex-wife who at one point was a lying cheating whore." That part made Harry just spittle-flecking mad! Rocco's soulmate had done something unforgivably bad that it angered those who wanted her burned at the stake.

Mr Brooks wrote, "Sorry, maybe I'm just a cold bastard, but I would have just walked out of the hospital without seeing her, giving the doctor the contact info for her family. I also would have long since moved on with someone else." Thing is, the author wrote Rocco as still loving Paige, even though he couldn't, at the time, be with her. If Rocco still loved Paige, despite the breaking up, could he reasonably have been expected to walk away when she was seriously hurt? I don't have an ex-wife out there, so maybe I'm not the best judge of this, but I can't imagine just abandoning an injured ex-girlfriend that I once like enough to have lived with.

That's the part that I really have trouble with: so many commenters seem to think that the only response to broken love is bitter hatred; can't you still like, or at least not hate someone you used to love, even if that person broke your heart?

Jasonnh wrote, "He goes after Jeremy with an empty gun and then lets OTHER guys beat Jeremy up. What a man." I can't see that as wimpy, the word Jason used to describe Rocco: he scared Jeremy so badly that Jeremy soiled himself, and that's got to be an even greater feeling than winning a fight. Then, he gives other men a chance to get their revenge on Jeremy. We don't know how badly Mike injured Jeremy, though the "the pounding of bat on bone" couldn't have been good for him. We don't know if Mike left Jeremy alive for the next cheated-on husbands; that's a good plot device to let the readers imagination fill in the blanks.

Of course, Rocco identified himself to Jeremy, so when Jeremy files the police report -- if he lived -- Rocco is going to be in real trouble, and lose his job; perhaps he no longer cared. If Jeremy died, the investigation is going to reveal Rocco's involvement in contacting all of those cheated upon husbands, and he'll be indicted as an accessory to manslaughter. (Mike will be charged with murder 2, but will be allowed to plead to manslaughter, get seven years, and be out in four.)

A grown adult has trouble even fitting in the backseat of a mustang less being able to hide there. Best I can say is that while this story falls short on several levels the writer has potential. My advice try writing about what you know, which does not include military weapons or the mustang. My main complaint about the story is that the main character comes across as an invertebrate. So his wife cheated on him, while tragic hardly compares to somebody with a terminal illness or stuck living in some shiathole like Haiti or California. Man up or at least take a salt tablet and walk it off.

Your story has potential, but PLEASE get an editor. A good editor will not only help with grammar issues, but can help with those annoying changes of “person,” plot conflicts and holes, and overall flow of the story. Your ideas are pretty good, but the story was almost unreadable. 2*

Then, you had the brilliant idea that taking a water ski jump over a shark would be as brilliant as giving a character amnesia. Well, yes, it was. Was hoping for better, but this is a good start. Well, other than the amnesia thing.

The characters looked real even though some had only a few lines of backstory to them. Even Jeremy didn't came off as villainous as he could be. Sure, the plot devices were convenient but for a short story saga they made sense. About the way Paige died, when I read the letter I thought she was going to commit suicide. I mean, going by the previous chapter piece about the "the one" and what can happen when you screw up, Paige may not be able to move on. But instead of that storyline, the author decided with a cold, abrupt death from an unknown health issue. It could happen at any time, took the blame from anyone and showed again to Rocco that life is not fair. It fit the story and as a plus, saved the author from any kind of BTB or RAAC criticism. Paige dying was the only way that at that point Rocco could save face. From her letter I thought that suicide was going to be method of choice but that one would put Rocco in a though spot and deny him the chance of moving on. So, Paige needed to die by external, impartial means. Earlier, Rocco talks about God and thought that it may be a woman. Maybe I am reading into this too much but would killing Paige to help Rocco the act that a caring woman would do? Rocco's mother didn't want him to be involved with Paige any longer and in the old Jewish books, there was supposed two deities, one male and one female but historians erased the female one. It's funny to realize that a short story like this one can make one think about the strangest things. A reason for the high rating, which I don't give that often. I am too busy to log in, so I will sign this post. Looking forward for stories from you, MaxiMilf.

Mari55

You had me going when you did the ending. I was waiting for the "pop" as the shot went off. only to hear "click" and he shit his pant's and got Ass Whipped by the Husband. 5*'s

It was a sad tale from the beginning to the end. Did they sue the hospital for discharging her?

Good character development and a sound plot. A clever ending as well. I do agree with a previous comment that every woman that fucked Jeremy was just as guilty as he was. And Paige certified her lack of intelligence and character when she went back to Jeremy after Rocco left her. If anything told Rocco that she was a lost cause, that information should have been it. What Paige was admitting was that if Jeremy had actually treated her half way decent, she would be married to him today, the man who convinced her to be his lying cheating cruel slut. Rocco should have sent Jeremy a Thank You card for revealing how evil and stupid Paige was.

So overall a good read. I hope you keep writing. Thank you for your time and effort.

she gets her memory back and remembers she is the one at fault and has the class finally to leave him. In reality id feel bad for the guy, and at the same time say he dodged a bullet. She really didn't deserve to ve forgiven her statements and actions laid waste to that idea. Nice job maxi 4 stars

The plot line for this installment was as subtle as a freight train. Was there an actual point to Rocco's continued misery/

The story was pretty great, I wished it would be more drawed out and the revenge more cruel, why the hell you killed off Paige and I was hoping for a reconciliation and a shared revenge...... Hopefully next time

If someone has amnesia, that person is the person they were at the time. It's a do over. Clearly she had growth after her memory returned. I would have preferred a happy ending here. You get 5 for making me want that so much.

Hubby found the brother, so why couldn't the hospital?

Thank you for posting. Please write more stories.

But I sort of like it. Rocco ends up attached but also probably is going to end up better afterwards unless he goes full retard. Thankfully the letter doesn't delve into gratuitous detail about Jeremy. The death after reconciliation is definitely there to use Rocco as a pincushion, but inadvertently helps him do the right thing. He already made the choice to divorce her, it's nice she wanted to fulfill the promises of seeing his game, a bit contemptuous she deliberately was in a spot she couldn't be seen, and all around sort of selfish and bizarre. Looks like both cheaters got the death penalty, a balanced way to even up the score sheet. For all the philosophical talk, nothing less would be acceptable.

The events leading up to this are a bit hard to choke down as something that might really take place. The yelling of nonsense and whatnot sounds unhinged. Like a snake dislocating his jaw to swallow an antelope. Lol, the imagery is amusing, thanks for making us laugh, anonymousinblue, we love you.

Balked at first. That IS funny.

Ring on a chain? Good grief that boy has it bad.

Father Mickey's theology is pretty works based and shaky for a man of the cloth. If you are going to make up a religion on your own just change your name to Jim Jones and be done with it.

Didn't sleep in his own bedroom after the split? Damn that boy has a mortal wound from Cupid's arrow.

damn, damn. That was frickin brutal. And yeah, that boy had it bad for that girl. Only thing saved you from a good cussin' in spite of a great story was the equally brutal revenge on Jeremy. :)

Because the hubby already knew the brother.

A very sad little tale that's as improbable as it is interesting. I'm always happy to suspend disbelief but the memory loss, memory gain and then aneurysm slipping effortlessly into place one after the other stretched my suspension of disbelief to the limit. I also couldn't quite come to terms with Rocco's response to her cheating: He knows that she's been cheating on him for months and pleads with her not to leave for the weekend retreat (the assumption is that if she doesn't go he will forgive her) but when she comes back early - having finished with her lover - he pushed for a divorce without giving her a chance to speak. It makes sense that either he's decided to divorce her regardless of what she does, or he'll try for a reconciliation if she ends her affair, but for her to end her affair and then divorce her after being aware of her behaviour for so long doesn't quite make sense.

The ending was clever and dramatic but it might have been more interesting to see if their newfound marital bliss would continue now that her memory had returned.

LA .

5 stars

One...Star.

I am kinda glad that Rocco did not shoot that piece of shit Jeremy. But if he had, I would not have lost any sleep over it. As it is, Jeremy will repeatedly be getting beatings from husbands he had cuckolded. My kind of revenge.

Checked the Rocco stories out again. Liked them even more the second time. Give us some more stories Maxi.

Was impressed with the depth of characrters. Nice work.....5

The revenge was perfect- beautifully planned and executed. I thought Rocco would blow Jeremy’s brains out, but it’s better that he didn’t... because it wouldn’t be consistent with the Rocco character. Killing Paige off was sad, but the right literary move. If Rocco got back together with her (and her memories) there would always be a seed of doubt, that tiny mistrust that kills a marriage. After he’d decided to keep her, even reading the letter, he’d always pine over her; her death was Rocco’s only path forward. So really, you made excellent plot choices, and wrote the scenes very well.

Practice, practice, practice so that you can create a good, complete story without turning a Page (pun intended).

T.T.

Solid 6*.... Nothing need be said other than I hope Mike got away with his batting practice! And that each aggrieved husband has a productive private batting practice too.

Thought this could be an alternate title for this tale, but I understand why you went with Strike Three.

I don’t know why some people get so butt hurt when an author jumps between 1st person POV of different characters. Personally I think it enables the author to give us meaningful insight into each of the characters thoughts and feelings. I’m sure those that disagree think this could be accomplished just as well without changing POV. I did find it a bit odd however jumping from the 1st person POV to the narrator, but it was just odd and didn’t take anything away from the story as a whole in my opinion. I really enjoyed this story and have rated it 5* accordingly.

It seems as though you haven’t posted anything new in quite some time. Hope to see more from you and will be following should you decide to post new stories.

Liked this story very much. Hope you have more to write.

Thanks

Bigtoz

Absofuckinglutely not!! Her doctor would have just had to find the whore a spot th in a state run facility. Beyond confirmation of he identity, he should have walked away immediately. His mom had it on straight, he would have been a complete asshole to let her back into his life.

So the doctors thought sending a mentally incompetent patient home with an angry ex-husband won't make them liable for any sexual abuse or financial fraud that occurs to her? Wouldn't she instead get a court appointed guardian, if not inpatient care?

I hope Mike saves some of him for the rest of the husbands.

I would hope that Rocco has better luck with wife #3, as did I. My #1 wife got some weird religion while I was traipsing around having a high old time in Iraq and decided I was a "baby killing devil"! Wife #2 was a big mistake, - a drunken doper as I had become and marriage #2 didn't last long.

I don't know what wife #3 saw in me but I thank god every day that I have her. The old saying is true - THE THIRD TIME IS THE CHARM!

Shoot. I wanna read about when he meets Paege.

Pretty dark.

A great story. Love it. AAAAAA++++++

This one is a pastiche of disjointed elements that the author uses way to many Deux Ex Machina off stage inserts to rectify. The result is a total chaotic mess that doesn't really make any common sense. In addition, the last chapter is one of the most depressing endings ever.

Move on people, there are a bunch of better tales out there I give this whole sad effort a 2

Really good story.

Really liked elements of the story, didn't care for the ending at all. Wanted to see him happy instead of vengeful. 4*

This was just an excellent read until the ending. With the wrap-up for Jeremy getting his due change the rating from Excellent Read ⭐⭐⭐⭐ to an Outstanding Read ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐.

Great twist from RACC, which I would have been OK with, into a "GET the BASTARD that crated the problem. You wrote a whole lot of emotions from Iraq in Pt 01 to back in NY in Pt 03. Well done.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

JH4Fun said what I wanted. I was so afraid that your maternal instincts would shy away from revenge on Jeremy. You got all 5 stars instead of the three that you had earned up to then. I cannot abide writers that ignore the human lust for revenge, Getting even is remaining behind, Revenge or retribution should always be at least 3x the offense. Once to get even, once to punish, and once to end up ahead.

What a mess. I like a reconciliation ad much as the next guy, but based on what she did in chapter 2, why bother? Her betrayal was over the moon. All her massive orgasms and cosmic sex with immensely endowed Jeremy the predator who routinely bashed her husband, her crazy humiliation by going away for the weekend and then going back for more after Jeremy's apology for fucking another young married women, and THEN trying again with Jeremy after Rocco left, paints a picture of a total brain damaged slut. So why bother. Then the deus ex machina of the accident and memory loss. They reconcile. Why? Would have made.more sense if HE lost his memory. But she loses it, they are back, then she remembers, runs away, and dies of an aneurysm as the author successfully pulls the rug out from underneath the reader. Again what was the point? Her betrayal was so over the top it was beyond nuts. Heck Candice (this story appears to take place after her own reconciliation) given the circumstances is a girl scout in comparison. Though Candice was blackmailed and whored out for 7-8 weeks, hooked on cocaine and repeatedly used the last several weeks, at least she had the blackmail as an excuse and her terrible childhood and college years; though the blackmail was weak in leverage, could be easily negated and Candice who has a PhD in chemistry and a position as a Senior VP of R&D acted like a total idiot not just in giving in the first time, but being gang raped and drugged and does nothing but take it...ick. anyways could see Candice and Nicky's reconciliation, even though that story's ending was poorly conveyed, but here, again, what is the point? Just to cause Rocco some pain. Wtf does her losing her memory do to help a reconciliation wherein Rocco needs to be the one to grant mercy. Uggh.

Ruined the story with that ending, I could have bought a reconciliation (maybe) but not with the "she forgot everything" BS.

Five, thanks

Captcha

A great story to be sure! I can't ever remember a Lit. author doing what you have done here. All the individual pieces of the story have been used countless times before but you managed to stitch them together in a new and highly original way. Gotta love it; a RAAC that isn't a RAAC because one of the partners is dead followed by a gift that keeps on giving BTB that will keep working itself out without the MC's further participation. Well done! 5 stars

All this because he was a pale wimpy excuse for a man. His only answer was to run away. He alone was responsible for Paige's death. If he hadn't acted like a snivelling little coward throwing her away she would never have had the accident. Typical of the shitty little guttersnipes that run from adversity.

The slut deserve no mercy. He should've left her to rot in her own Hell.

Saved from complete cuckdom at the end...

4 of 5. I liked it. S. F.

Great story aside from the MC being a cuck

Well written bullshit. When someone has that little regard for you, it's possible to kill any feelings of affection. Paige spent months denigrating, deceiving and cheating. Just exactly the kind of behavior that would absolutely put an end to any need to offer her a soft landing after her accident. Hell, Rocco must know about her brother. Surely he'd have directed her dr. to send her to him with all of her childhood memories to mine.

Better than the middle chapter. But why wouldn't the doctor direct her to her brother? Rocco and Paige were divorced. Not sure why the whole letter when the aneurysm was about to hit. Just give Rocco a measure of happiness, a bit of closure, and then she dies on her sleep. At least Jeremy got payback. This author treats his loving wives characters as raging sexbots that are cartoonishly addicted to large penises. The author also has obviously not researched a penis calculator online (10 inches and the girth of a coke can, lol that is like 1 in 5 million odds), nor a Silver Star (what Rocco did, in no way would merit a Silver Star). Still Better than chapter 3.

AW Mate a good story BUT maybe i really am an old romantic shame about the ending (jaybee186)

Sorry, he was a pussy.