All Comments on 'Submission Ch. 01'

Because this was just awful.

I thought this was great. Ignore that negative comment

This is pretty interesting. i would definitely read more

I agree, interesting and I hope you write more.

Can't wait to read more.

An excellent set up. You did a wonderful job of world building with only a few sentences. That's a rare treat. The change in pov was done simply, but clearly; another good thing. The slave trainer's thoughts give us a clear and straight forward picture of him as a person. I'm wondering if he'll become more complicated in the face of a more complicated slave?

You gave us a good bit about Tracy, but she is a more complicated character. I have the beginnings of an understanding of what Tracy has, and is, going through. However, it is still difficult to grasp the level of despiration necessary to take such a drastic step. I guess the flip side of the fear of the unknown is the hope of the unknown. You've presented her thoughts a bit too matter-of-factly. I don't know if you wanted to portray her as numb, but that is how she seems to me at this point.

You have started an interesting STORY-no matter what the orientation of the individuals. I hope you maintain the story as you introduce sex and abundant kinks. Everything involves people, not just body parts, and no matter the social status.