All Comments on 'Submission for Payment'

For your first story I think you did a good job. Would love to see a second part, where she gets deeper into being a prostitute. Good job

A classic "short story" form - very well done!

She's not only so stupid that she accumulates endless debt, but throws all sense to the wind and tells him to impregnate her? Yeah, she's going to be able to afford that... the prostitution element loses its appeal when the character goes full retard, because there's absolutely nothing erotic or sexy about a homeless, pregnant whore who has to drop out of college because her parents have disowned her and she can no longer afford it. If there are going to be other chapters, I recommend some character improvement or dropping it to Fetish.

I am the female half of "paget77@yahoo.com" (together we are Paula and Gerry). Neither of us usually comments on any story, but Gerry suggested I should write back to you. I liked your story, but thought it could have been stronger. Just over 20 years ago (I am early 40's) I put myself through college by carefully and discreetly selling (more precisely, "renting") the use of my body. It was long before I knew Gerry. Quite simply, I liked sex and was good at it, and I overcame the moral issues by seeing it as business. My college was in a major city, so clients were not hard to find. I'm sure I had a professor or two but never one I had as a teacher myself. Actually, upper class students with rich parents were pretty good clients, although most of them got it for free.

I think you should have given the readers a little more background on the professor. Was he married? Why did he want to go home so fast? Would he actually offer $2,000 for a one-shot deal? Doesn't seem reasonable. Also, Cynthia, though inexperienced, would have negotiated the use of a condom up front. I never fucked a guy without a condom. Bareback is for lovers.She could not have felt love, she was scared and the guy turned her off, didn't work her up (except she was apparently desperate to be held, etc.). If he was married he probably would have gone down on her, as many married guys I was with wanted to eat pussy but could not do it at home. I let most of them, but many needed some training. When they knew what they were doing,m it was a bonus for me.

Keep working on your writing, Maybe talk to a college-age prostitute and find out how she got started, etc. Anyway, good story but you can do better. I knew what I was doing -- later did a little porn -- all behind me now, although Gerry and I do swing from time to time -- sort of seasonal with us, when we both want a little variety.

Hi Paula,

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. The main theme of the story was the submission aspect. While this is not a true story it contain elements of truth. however, so many details were changed that I decided to not tell it from my own point of view and make a character. The price is of course outlandish and I never received anything like that and I never had debts as high as Cynthia. I thought about fleshing out some of the characters more but I was worried about having it run too long and thereby turning off a lot of readers. As for the moral aspect, that was something that was not very easy for me to get over and I could have probably spent more time on that as it was something that I never did again for those reasons.

I'm simply amazed by your writing. Paula's comments notwithstanding, your response to Paula is an indication of a biographical element to this story I was not aware of until I'd finished reading it and it makes sense that you wrote this as you did rather than the way Paula advises. At any rate, I've become very enthusiastic about your writing.