All Comments on 'Subway Girl Ch. 02'

I'm thoroughly enjoying your story so far and looking forward to reading more. Thank you for sharing.

Yes! Keep going please. These short vignettes are worse than the "Perils of Pauline." The writing is tight and I`m enjoying the chacter development. I would just wish fot more per sitting. Yes, I`m being a glutten but " Please sir ( ... er a mam) may I have some more?

I love your characters and the way you give them life. This story is great keep on writing.

I do really enjoy your style of writing, how you create real characters and use real situations, life is hard for a lot of people and in this tale you have displayed some of the hard, difficult lives that good people are compelled to survive day to day. I have waited somewhat impatiently for more of the Subway Girl and the wait was worth it. When you are ready please send us more of this heartwarming and realistic vision of life. Thank you DonnaBeck for enriching us with your work

It's amusing to me how the stories with the most basic of plots can often be the most satisfying. This story, with its down and out hero getting something as simple as a hug from a random girl and it turning his luck around, is simple but very compelling. As a guy who has been in down and out himself once or twice, I know how tough it is to stick it out and not give up, which is one reason I like this story. Our hero is a good guy, and is worth cheering as he puts his life back together. I confess that I checked the site for Chapter 2 every day this week, hoping you'd post it up, and am glad that you did. Great work. I look forward to chapter 3. Thanks Donna. You're a wonderful storyteller.

I really appreciate this story. It gives me hope, which is always a good thing.

Thank you

Really into your story...waiting for the next chapter...like the pace you're taking and the flavor. Thank you for writing this!

Puts a smile on my face

I like this story.

The first instalment had a few errors that made me question whether I should continue, but it's already improved significantly.

I would usually discourage people from doing a day-by-day "I did this then I did that," but it really works for this story - it emphasises the day-to-day living for survival existence of people who live this way - it brings back stark memories for me.

I know you've already written a lot more of this story, and I'm only up to this chapter, but I would recommend using less of the word "shy" and "that shy look" - in the first two instalments, it's already been used at least four times. Think of some different ways of conveying the same idea, and don't underestimate your readers. Plant the idea of the mannerism once (maybe twice) and, if the reader is doing their job, they will fill it in the rest of the time.

Ha! And here I thought I'd taken a break from marking my students' creative writing.

I look forward to reading more. :)

This story reminds me of one of my favorite movies. This is a great plot that would do well in a full novel and even a movie. Please keep writing great stories.

I always enjoy the way you put your thoughts into words. ☺

Another 5 stars

The man is pulled from the depths by his own innate politeness and desire

to help who needs help.

I havnt given much thought as to what I would do if I found my self in Rays position. How do you get out of that place. I'm very suspicious of someone who appears homeless.

You are giving me some insight to a problem that happens for many reasons, and I am grateful that my life has gone much better than Rays. I think things are picking up for Ray, and he has some good resources in his life. I am looking for the happy ending here.

is more than having money

Wow. This is so well done. It hits close

You are a damn good writer. I loved the last line of part 2. It wrapped it all up nicely.

Weirdly (I mean that in a nice way) sweet. Beautiful sort of tone in the writing, and it fits your story well.

Awkwardly sweet narrative. Hard to do the 'right thing' in an uncertain world of angst and survival.

Personally, I had hoped the current state of affairs would be better, with improved security in this 21st century.