All Comments on 'Subway Girl Ch. 09'

by DonnaBeck

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  • 9 Comments
Sid0604Sid0604almost 10 years ago
Another great chapter...

Another great chapter to add to a thoroughly enjoyable story. Thank you for sharing.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago

Thank you for making my Saturday better than it would have been. Wonderful chapter, as usual.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
very good

Thank you keep them coming I am on the edge of my seat waiting.

SplendidSpunkSplendidSpunkalmost 10 years ago
Smooth Sailing

You continue to move this story along, each chapter sails smoothly into the next, each one gives us more of a glimpse into both Ray and Alicia. We can see how well they are getting along, yet know that the problems both either have or had had will always be a part of their foundation. Since we see all of this from Ray, we are more aware of the transitions he is being asked to make, to grow up, take on responsibility and "man up' to quote Don. Yet Alicia remains in a shadow, so much of her life, her job, her education, even her family are not yet in the focus other then what we can see through Ray. Your writing is top notch, your words match the music of the story. Like anyone who has pledged themselves to this novel, I do await the next chapter, eager and pleased - thank you for gracing us with this! - Kevin

Rad'lRad'lalmost 10 years ago
A very well done story -

I had no idea what the story would be like; it has been a complete surprise. I am enjoying it to say the least. I just read all 9 chapters and now find myself joining others waiting anxiously for the next issue. Good character development, good plot, and believable action. Thanks.

foolish_hobgoblinfoolish_hobgoblinalmost 10 years ago
Well, you went and made me do it.

I read all 9 chapters knowing full well the story's only halfway done and now I have to wait a week between each chapter like some kind of sucker. :P So much for pacing myself, but I just couldn't stop. It's a beautifully written story, thank you for sharing it!

bruce22bruce22almost 9 years ago
Smooth

The social side of this relationship could have some hidden pitfalls. Enjoyable to read about normal people doing normal things.

rightbankrightbankalmost 8 years ago
One of the signs of a good writer

is presenting the mundane while educating and sparking the interest of the reader.

DB, you do it very well. Reading about cheque stubs, FICA withholding, and monthly rent has us caring about his personal and financial survival.

UncertainTUncertainTover 1 year ago

Beautiful writing

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userDonnaBeck@DonnaBeck
Hi Lit - readers, It has been suggested that I give the order of the trilogy; Subway, Flower, and Runner Girl. I have two short stories on here as well. I am currently writing erotica. I expect the new piece to be out around the first of the year. Thank you for your intere...

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