All Comments on 'Subway Girl Ch. 10'

by DonnaBeck

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  • 17 Comments
arrowglassarrowglassalmost 10 years ago
I like that you are dealing with a real problem!

This story just keeps getting better. Involving a real problem for many really hits the mark. I definitely will be following along this wonderfully woven wandering tale!

Sid0604Sid0604almost 10 years ago
Wow...

This story is just getting better all the time. It's great to find an author dealing with a real problem in our society. Easily worth 5 stars for that alone. I'm looking forward to reading more.

dbz50172dbz50172almost 10 years ago
What a great story

I have enjoyed this story from the beginning and it just keeps getting better. The way your characters flaws and how they deal with them is so real. I can relate to your characters in a very real way and that is the mark of a good story. Keep writing this story it is truly a masterpiece.

SplendidSpunkSplendidSpunkalmost 10 years ago
So Good

I have, like others been taken by this story. It all feels so real. We have all seen or heard of young women who fall prey to this disease and while some mange it a lot don't. I know I hope and pray you have Alicia in the camp that finds a way to manage this, maybe Ray's true love for her will help, but we all know that Alicia has to be the center of the resolution. The story is being well developed, it is obvious that you have this planned well ahead and are allowing us to feel the true weight of the issue by bringing it to us as if we were all there, experiencing the love and trauma, the highs and the lows. Ray is emerging from his 'homeless' life and now we have Alicia to focus on as her own demons are now emerging. We all come to this site for erotica knowing that the stories we read here are more hopes and dreams of the writers so it is refreshing to see this story of young imperfect lovers in a normal relationship and see Characters developed that are real to us with issues that we all have or have lived with. I will say with conviction that the drama you are giving us is great and while we expect the young lovers to continue to have their intimacy, it will always be a secondary expectation for me as the more significant issues they both face are more intriguing and more emotional then a roll in the hay. I for one am more focused on the amazing characters, William, Don. Lenny, Alicia and her mom, Ray and maybe we will also get to meet Ray's Dad and friend Carlos too. Keep writing your story, it is what I (we) want and if the sex takes a back seat, as it should, I know I will still get up early every Saturday to see this tale unfold - Five Stars seems too little - Kevin

PallasAthena123PallasAthena123almost 10 years ago

Woah, harsh.

Yeah, you're not doing any of the trivializing things a lot of authors do that I was afraid of. You just go straight for the gut! Jeez, thanks a lot.

(seriously, you are a stellar storyteller! Man, I really hope Alicia gets better!!!)

Sidney43Sidney43almost 10 years ago

You have me completely drawn into this story. I thought that Ray had the problems, but now we find that Alicia is the one with major issues that would challenge anyone.

frazodfrazodalmost 10 years ago
Wow

I do love the way you are writing this story. Some parts make me feel sick, especially with what Alicia is going through. At the beginning of this adventure Ray appeared to be the one in dire straits, now we find his love is the one in more trouble.

I also commend you on the handling of the bulimia.

Finally, I have hopes they make it.

Thank you again....

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Wonderful

Absolutely captivating as I expected, showing love in every aspect of the word. See you next week. And please, please don't let this series be the last we hear about ray and Alecia!

ReiDeBastosReiDeBastosalmost 10 years ago
More, please!!

I, like so many others, am looking forward to more of these characters. And I hope an upcoming chapter will discuss that bulimic "markers" do not work - at least not in the way Alicia apparently thinks they do. Things do not always come up in "last in, first out" order. Might be important for some of your readers to know...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Well, Hell!

Now I have to wait a week for my next fix...

THIS is the kind of writing I come to Lit for, but too seldom find. I'm as deeply into this story as Ray is into his relationship with Alicia. Please don't stop!

Thanks! VisualPerv

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
your story

Do you have an account with wattpad? Its like this page too you get votes, followers, comments and get to be on the top 100 best stories to read. You'll problably get more readers and votes if you update this story in wattpad.com and there's an app too for it. Please write back if you think about uploading this story at wattpad ill follow you! And vote for all the stories you upload/uodate. Comment back! My name is Chuchita if you decide to upload this story at wattpad. Oh I almost forgot! :-O love you story just found it like an hour ago love it!!!

DonnaBeckDonnaBeckover 9 years agoAuthor
Wattpad

Thank you Chuchita, yes when this is complete I plan to put it on Smashwords and wattpad.

DoctimeDoctimealmost 9 years ago
Auto... Biographical????

I had a step-daughter who died at 43 from anorexia. This story cuts a little too close to the bone, however it is very well done. I am tempted to cheat and go to the ending but I am resisting. I feel that either you or a loved one has lived this story in real time

Doctime

bruce22bruce22almost 9 years ago
Excellent Composition and Word usage.

You are hitting hard and heavy here. More emotional stress and may have to visit

and I just might find myself in an Emergency Room.

magpieolasmagpieolasabout 8 years ago
Ouch

I dont have an eatting disorder but i am 5 yrs clean from cutting. Its a hard thing to see what you do to others, but hard to stop. Im kind of heartbroken right now. Again i love the stories you have written and the reality to them. You bring really difficult situations to light. The best part of that is you show that it is possible to over come anything with support and strength. Ty.

rightbankrightbankalmost 8 years ago
Wow, it is worse than he (or I) expected

but this is not something that shows on the surface.

hugs makes sense now

AnonymousAnonymous4 months ago

How tragic

A downward spiral without a real lifeline. Scary.

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userDonnaBeck@DonnaBeck
Hi Lit - readers, It has been suggested that I give the order of the trilogy; Subway, Flower, and Runner Girl. I have two short stories on here as well. I am currently writing erotica. I expect the new piece to be out around the first of the year. Thank you for your intere...

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