All Comments on 'Successful Businesswoman Ep. 02'

Please review your use of commas. There are so many unnecessary commas in the first few paragraphs, causing pauses where they are not required, that it made your story jarring and unreadable. Please have someone edit before publication to avoid this issue.

Would you be so kind, as to give an example? Saying "too many commas" doesn't help. Also I do all the writing for free and no-one is willing to edit the stories for free as well. Of course, if anyone would volunteer to edit my stories free of charge, I'd be more than happy to accept such proposal.