All Comments on 'Such a Little Thing Ch. 01'

Great build up, can't wait to read the rest.

did they have pudding or cake since they are 2 different things,or at least they are here in the states

In the UK the word "pudding" is interchangeable with the word "dessert"

I love the characters so far. Great writing skills!

A very thoughtful build up. I like the way you are able to write, as if you are painting a picture as you go. I can't wait until the next part of the story.

Intriguing and well done. Can't wait for more.

Scatty Sue, if this is ever your real name, you are such a talented writer. Do not just write here, do it professionally. I wish you could help me in my story writing. I am writing a fictional comedy. I hope we can get in touch somehow. And do not worry, I am old enough to be your father... I guess!!, But I really need some help as I am not a native speaker. If you are ever interested pls contact me on: visiting55atgmaildotcom. And good luck in your future writings.

Di the world a favor and write professionally. I think youd do well youre so talented

I love the way you reveal so much about your characters in the conversation (witty, too, I might add). It beats the hell out of dry descriptions. I'm a new best fan!

I can't wait to read more, I'm in suspense! Please write more and more and more...!

Admirable writing, so looking forward to reading more.

Not a criticism, but lookout for the 'typos'.

I am also looking forward to the sequel, trusting there will be one?

Really enjoyed the read and hope to see more!

Very well done ... looking forward to more

You slipped in miles in the middle of a segment about running kilometres. Do most Europeans know the conversion between miles and kilometers? I thought miles was predominantly an American measurement. This was the only hang up I had with the story. I admit, as an American, I can't picture how far a kilometer is, but I was able to tell the difference of the length ran. I lost the immersion, I was soon back into the story after a quick Google conversion, in the story when you swapped from 5-6 kilometers to 10 miles then back to 8-10 kilometers. My suggestion would have been using 16 kilometers over using 10 miles, just my opinion for whatever its worth.

I still gave the story 5 stars. The premise and the build-up were fabulous. Eagerly awaiting the next segment. After this story, I will have to check out your other submissions.

I guess the miles / kilometres thing is a bit of a British issue: we use both! I run regularly (write what you know!) and events and races use both. When I talk about distances I sometimes have to convert so telling someone that the furthest distance I have run is 10 miles often means more than saying 16km even though day to day I tend to use km.

Point taken about it being a bit confusing though.

With the rest of the story, I can't wait

Nice beginning. Thanks for sharing your talents. I find the characters interesting and am curious to see where the relationship goes. One editorial comment... I think the word you want is... "incorrigible" instead of "encourageable" exhibitionist... I suppose it could be intentional, as wordplay, but in conversation, the pun wouldn't hold ...

Not the jump in the dressing room in less than a minute.

The correct word is, indeed, incorrigible and Amber uses this correctly the first time.The second time she is drunk and uses a malapropism - encouageable - and Milla seizes on this to tease Amber. It is surprisingly hard to convey drunkenness in written speach.

(Encouageable is italicised in the story but this doesn't show up if you use the Literotica App on a phone or tablet.)

So far, so good. I'm ready for the next.

Cute story but so! many! exclamation points! Kind of exhausting to read, actually.

As much as I enjoy pudding of all sorts, I think that this story is considerably tastier and I'll sleep all the better for having read it! Looking forwards to more in the series.

Loved ths. Eager to read more. There are plenty of stories that go straight to sex. This has what is looking to be a red hot story, with a deliciously erotic ending. Go foist and let's see more.

Erotic Sexy Beautiful and Tastefully Written. More Please! Give Us More!

I can't wait to read chapters 2 through maybe 10??

I'm scoring this one at a minimum of 16-orgasms.

Thank You. Gay Kat.

And I love the characters. I can't wait to read the rest. Please don't make us wait too long. Thank you for a wonderful and tender love story.

I love the build-up in this story. Now patience is required of us to await the next, hopefully even more beautiful chapter.

This is my first comment ever. This story is wonderful, nuanced, and enthralling. Please hurry with the rest. Thanks!

I noticed the interchangeable measurements and knew at once you were an English writer. Next time, you could buy a couple of gallons of petrol and complain about the price per litre, or get a pint in the pub, then stop off for litres of milk on the way home. We also tend to use cm for shorter distances, then change to feet and yards!

I really loved the story, I was missing Bramblethorn' s 'The stringed instrument' series. This opening looks like it could be as good.

Keep going! I know good writing takes time, but hopefully not too long!!

Oh I can't wait to read the next three chapters, please hurry!

It was nice and interesting.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Part 2 has been uploaded and should be publishing very soon. Unfortunately some dodgy formatting (my fault) meant it was rejected the first time - sorry for the delay.

Thank you for all the wonderful comments and feedback.

ScattySue

As a transgender, I think It is a wonderful story. It brought back memories.

love these characters..........good read

I love these characters you gave them enough detail to imagine them as real characters but had it flow in the story. I think Amber is doing the right thing until she figures out her own sexuality.

One of the better stories I've read in awhile, the interactions between the two are very fluid and descriptive and easily sets an image for the imagination to create.

Wotcha, Sue!?! ;-}

As a self-professed compulsive reader (not just Literotica, but myriad genres), for the first time EVER, I felt compelled to the point of distraction to comment!

You've written quite an attention-grabbingly amazing first chapter! BRAVO!!! (Take THAT, you critic who's distracted by exclamation points! HA!)

I'm really enjoying your style of character development for your protagonist, especially via your sharing of her stream of consciousness. I'd comment on many other literary aspects, but for brevity's sake, that'll have to wait...

As for your use of both measurement systems, though some found it confusing, it's so typically British that (thanks to my multicultural upbringing) I found it rather endearing.

Those who've encouraged you to also write for a more "mainstream" audience aren't at all off the mark; I believe you'd be a welcomed addition to today's readers' lists of favorite authors!

Should you find yourself wanting any editorial assistance, please feel free to contact me via cocorox1818 at what cowboys might holler dot com... I feel quite certain that not only are you able to correctly decipher that, but also that my offer, should you choose to accept it, would be mutually beneficial.

Write on, Sue! ;~}

CoCo

Friendship should always come before love and comitment. No matter how the first signs of love appear if there is no friendship it does not sustain itself in the long run.

Since English always will be my second language I can only conclude. Enjoying this tale be it from imagination or from memory, reads like more.

Love Janice

I absolutely fell in love with the characters! And the story of course

Thank you for this wonderful first chapter! Stunning!

Sue, you've got a winner here. When a story is in several parts, I don't usually comment until I've read the whole tale but I just had to congratulate you on this. It's an intriguing and tantalising start with two quite loveable characters: if Amber and Milla were real, anybody---straight or gay---could fall for them. Must go now, got two more chapters to read.

Brian

This is a beautiful start to your story. People who care for each other may or may not become lovers, but it's a darn good start.

This is exactly the kind of story I like... a STORY... with characters I like and a happy feeling. I was mildly distracted by the thought that these ladies are the store managers, not the owners, and that all the freebies are going to destroy their really narrow profit margins. I know, the thought is not appropriate to a story like this, but it was still there.

This first segment flowed deliciously with very intriguing Characters that entice the reader into discovering more. You make your characters come to life with your brilliant detailing laced in the enticing storyline. That is a trait of a very good novelist!

this is a very good story, I usually do not read a story word for word but this one was written very good, I like the build up, I am sure these 2 lady's will become more than bff's

How is it that you compose such deeply compelling stories.

What a lovely well told story. I hope there is a finish to it. Loved how you do feelings. I have been there done that. Thanks

This is my second or third time through, and I still love it as much, if not more, than the first time I read it. Thank you for sharing it with us!

Thank you for writing such depth into your adorable characters. I can't wait for Amber to realize she has completely fallen for Milla. I'm glad you see that facing up to a change in your sexual identity is a lot more difficult than just feeling it.

Loved your incorrigible/encourageable joke, it's smart and cute. I'm surprised other commenters thought it was an error.

Your miles vs. kilometers flip-flop is very familiar to me because I'm Canadian, we do this too. I would guess Australians would as well.

Thats for shure not easy going for amber ...... A cute italian girl is hard to ignore ...... And the coffee, sorry yeah not forget about a good traditional espresso or latte macchiato ...... Lovely

Lovely and adorable. I like that Amber recognizes and accepts her attraction so quickly. Sometimes I just want to grab the characters in the slow-burn romances and shake them until they see the obvious, but you've managed to keep the tension up without requiring your main character to be totally oblivious.

This is a beautiful story. Well written so that it grabs a reader. I couldn’t stop reading and now look forward to the other two parts!

i have to say i was very fair to you as an author. The very first story i was going to read of yours is the one with the warning for piss play and scat play in it. The piss play wouldnt really do it for me, but it wouldnt bother me either, but the scat play was a huge no for me so i didnt read it, and i didnt even look at your other stories for fear they would have scat play in them also. Well ive since looked at your other stories and they have all been very well done so far and im really enjoying reading them.

Enjoying it

Absolutely love this story so far…looking forward for the next part….

Lovely!

Wow!... Erotic Hot and Sexy,,, Yes!

*

Hallo Sue!

Just as beautiful written as I remembered, Thank-You, Queen Jackie and I, loved It..

5-Stars and 5-Hot Yummy Orgasms,,, Yes!

The Black Queen 👩🏿‍ and Gay Kat 👩🏼..

💋💋💋

beautiful story. erotic too