All Comments on 'Suck in the Moment Ch. 02'

So I gave it 5 stars 😄 Keep up the great writing I've read all three of your stories I love how your stories just pull me in.

Agent Willis O.O boy oh boy.

I came to the second chapter expecting a little boredom. Boy was I wrong. Keep them comming

Keep up the good work!

Good one i hope you won't finish it in the next chapter

Story is unique and plot is intresting

Try to see how far is the potential in the story

Really like your work and this one is on par.

Can I still ask for you to continue "Lost and Found"?

Please continue...This story is awesome..

Really enjoyed the story. Hope you keep adding to it. Very good work!

Great story, great writing! It kept me from studying, that's for sure.

I saw Molly's betrayal coming, and I think you might have pushed it too early, but it was needed given the plot line. Travis needed a little bit more introspection. More doubt from him, sprinkled through the pages, would have helped to season the stew; and perhaps a bit more passive-aggressiveness from Molly spread out over a longer period would add on to that (her 'bloodlust' and 'possessiveness', cues for the betrayal, were noticeably concentrated near the event itself). Travis himself had too many correct conclusions at just the right moment; it would be better if the doubts had been stronger, which would smooth the transition from uncertainty into certainty when she showed her true colors.

What was really brilliant was using Molly's 'twist' as cover for the real twist: that Willis was in fact testing Travis the entire time (that's my own personal theory, anyway!). It was a really fantastic moment that I didn't see coming, but makes perfect sense in hindsight, which is the best kind of twist!

Your writing is less descriptive than some, but fast-paced and intense. There's always something happening or in development. It's fun to read and very engaging. You don't linger on the details, but you always give enough to visualize the scene and the characters; I think you've got a great balance in your writing so far. This gives you a superpower; when you choose to delve into description, the contrast serves as a technique to draw in the reader's attention at important moments. It also implies that what's being described is leaving an impression on the main character, who is our observer. It is because your writing has a certain finesse that you're able to do this!

I rated this and the first chapter 5 stars. Looking forward to more!

Please more of it - much more :-)

You can write. You don't need to play rating games by linking votes to story continuation. Cut that crap out.

just reduce the sex acts and focus more on the various interesting theoretical levels, from the easily permissible to the impossible...

just don't do things very magically childish like in Harry Potter, where a wave of the magic wand and all kinds of candles and lamps are lit, etc.

explain, in tedious detail, HOW someone has to actually take things (composed of molecular and atomic dimensions) from position A to position B, as you do it here.

these are just silly stories, I know; but you don't have to mug for the camera. take the stories you're telling as serious writing activities...

one of the failings of stories dealing with apparently UNKNOWN omnipotent, omniscient power like what Travis unwittingly found himself to have --- failing by the authors who write these stories --- is that they go into stupid bullshit about the hero wanting a really huge dick, with endless stamina, so he could fuck 24/7 without getting tired... rob all the banks he wants... drive all the fancy cars he ever wished for, etc.

I never understand why THE AUTHORS never want to think about some thing MORE COMPLEX than those 6th grade thoughts we all had when we were in Middle or Junior high school...

How about have YOUR CHARACTERS think about HOW he could help ACCELERATE humanity knowledge in astronomy, in genetics, in mathematics.... think of the fantastical repercussion or consequences or benefits if, let's say, mathematicians were able to solve RIEMANN HYPOTHESES... or how geneticists could solve so many mutational diseases --- and delete all the erroneous bits and pieces of DNA from our chromosomes --- if they had access to some extremely fast and accurate bio-computational algorithms that allow them to test how drugs (made up of molecules, which in turn are made up of atoms, etc) work in a few minutes to a few hours, as compared to the YEARS AND DECADES of trial and error approach scientists use today...

you, THE AUTHOR, don't have to approach from a KNOW-IT-ALL angle, to get such a story going. just do some broad outline and thinking before you write.

don't misunderstand, sex and even hilarious or odd sexual activities are perfectly okay, in your characters and stories... just don't stay perpetually at the middle school level...

try telling unconventional, complex stories that neither you, the author, nor your characters know the "ultimate answer." allow the characters to make mistakes,,, even serious and irrevocable mistakes... like it just happened with Molly's character here.... a character whom Travis came to care for, in a matter of a few hours, to a few days time... and yet also a character that shocks Travis being to the very core, once he has had time to think of her demands...

in other word, dear author... so far, it's very decent.... again, just stay away from too many cliches, too much mindless sex, too much mindless power exhibition, etc.

talking about character flaws, talk about love and loss and redemption, like that young woman with a small baby, for whom she'd lay down her life, if it means to save the baby...

again, you had already started creating a rather complex hero, who knows this power that he has is NOT his to control or explain, since it accidentally dropped on him, at age 14... and he's found that having endless power is not only tempting but also exhaustive and incredibly consequential in more ways than he could predict... and that he still does not know how to use it, how to control i, how to express it, etc., etc.

very promising start.... hopefully, again, you don't ruin it like 99.9999% of other similar stories.... with that much power, the most important goal and objective would be for Travis to stay sane, decent, and simple all his life... to live from one day to the next as a decent fellow human being who cares about the poor and oppressed and sick, around him and in the world.... all good stories revolve around simple things humans and how individuals, even those with little to no power, could slowly make life better for all...

just saying all that to prove to Willis that he could be trusted, knowing he would refuse. The 'Finally' seems to belie that though.

Wow, that's quite the rant. Maybe the writer doesn't have the same view as you, or maybe he does. It is, after all, only chapter 2. Where are your stories, seeing as you seem to be able to write so much when commenting on other author's stories?

Really its only half as good as Monsters on the Mountain thats what I would like to see finished it has the makings of a great story, its mountains high above your others

who thinks he actually was making deeper or more meaningful comments by talking about OTHER people's comments.

say what the fuck you want, ABOUT THE STORY and/or about STORY writing.

why the fuck am I all of a sudden your target?

each of us should be able to make our OWN OBSERVATIONS on what we like or dislike about stories and story telling...

stay focused on what is RELEVANT... and the STORIES and the AUTHORS who tell those stories are the RELEVENT subject matters. Whether they like what's said about them, their stories, or story telling in general, it is up to THEM to communicate with their readers.....

and if you are the writer of this story, then confirm it, and TELL ME YOURSELF as THE AUTHOR... on what I said that was so off the wall, as a reader who takes time to carefully read your stories and THEN make relevant comments and observations about them...

otherwise, again, please, shut the fuck up and stick to the subject matter... THE STORY and say how you like or dislike it and why, etc. ... and stop telling OTHER READERS what they should or should not say, blah, blah, blah..

I'm very impressed with your characters, especially how you took the time to give a few hints, yet didn't overtly reveal them.

I also like how many possibilities are open - I'm really excited to see where this goes!

J

I have read all your stories and I must say I really like all of them, and I hope you finish them all. All that being said I still like "Monsters on the Mountain" the best. I like stories that I can dive into and see everything in my mind and feel like I'm right there in the story, and you have pulled me in on all your stories. Thank you for sharing them and I look forward to finishing reading them all.

I'm personally glad Travis is not all rape-y like a lot of the time stopper characters. I have no idea how far you will take this story but I will be reading every bit of it.

The title made no sense at first.

But now it makes some sense, he was sucked in by her for a moment, believing her to be genuine.

THAT ENDING. So much yes. Genuinely pleasantly surprised. Good show ol' chap!

The ending was crazy...i am anticipating the next chapter

Excellent story & love the twists. Refreshing new angle glad he got his head out of her noose before it was too late. Keep up the good work .

Also hope you continue with the Bigfoot story too

I am not a fan of Sci-Fi, BUT this one!!! I will check daily (more like every hour) for the next chapters. Excellent twist at the end.

Please finish, good story line. never see before.

Didn't see that coming, you make it really hard on us poor readers having to wait for the next chapter. Keep up the great storylines !

Over Read and GenghisKhan gave you plenty of feedback on your writing; I just want to provide encouragement! All your stories are REALLY good, please continue them (all).

Thanks for your fine work!

You should finish all of your stories. You're good. Believability in unreality. Before you and Over Read, I didn't know I liked Scifi.... Now I'm hooked. So fun.

Outstanding!! Can't wait for continuations of all your series, nice flow, the twist and turns are quite unexpected. I'm hooked.

> With that, agent Willis disappeared.

Man, timing is everything.

Please follow up on this story, I can imagine a lot of interesting things from here on.

Ramjet

I really like this story keep going plz

really want to see this story continue...

I'm anonny. How bout I just go back over and over again, and keep giving it 5*s? Would that help?

Somewhat disappointed that Molly had been using Travis for the power, but I kinda saw it coming. Too bad, I liked her spunk and she seemed like a gorgeous girl, but that's dimmed after seeing the manipulative side. That brings us to the cliffhanger! Can't wait for more, this is really well crafted and the language is beautiful.

Like the twists and turns...like the way you are writing this...like the cliffhanger even! Anxiously awaiting the next chapter.

This is the best story I've read to date on literotica. Great concept, believable characters, addictive story. There is so much more room to continue Travis's story! Please continue it! There's even room to tell Willis's story. A guy with this power who chooses to join the fbi... There has to be great backstory there. Thank you for writing and keep it up! You are really exceptional!

I liked the plot twists, and as other posters have mentioned, the concept and story line are excellent. Please continue on with this as if enjoy seeing where you take it from here.

Ooooooo the FBI guy has powers too. Anyone that didnt see her being manipulative raise your hand ... good story though. Thank you

I read them last year, read them once more just now. Great job. Nice sci-fi plus thriller. Don't you think though that it has enough rating to give the effort for final chapter(s)? Please please finish the storyline..

Oh, I just read your biography section. Good to know that you're working on the next chapter. Please take your time though, definitely family comes first, no rush. Meanwhile I'll read your other works :)

Can't wait for the next update!

Uhm, update? Please?

Enjoying your work, not so much the wait time. Oh well, life happens.

Wow read this waiting for your other story to be updated though this ended at a good cliff hanger it would be fun to see the next stage.

I've enjoyed all your work here.

Please get this story started again I loved it what a cliffhanger

Paps

The story is too good. Still waiting for the sequel. Please make it soon.

First, I like this story for the story. The sex isn't even needed!

Second, man. Bye bye happy love story.

Third, please continue. Pretty please.

just one more request for another chapter to this story, and thank you for your writing

It's an ending, but it felt like a follow up to the conclusion of a trilogy.

Fantastic story other than that.

I don't personally like the direction you took Molly. I like the good girls, haha. But that's a personal opinion, not in any way a detraction from your story.

You needed to put a better finish to this story. It was good until the ending...just saying.

And the end was a nice little twist. After looking at most of the comments here I tried to imagine a different plot line using .......... Wait a minute that would make it a completely different story.

Please give me more. PLEASE.

I have always wanted stories like the ones you write. Where sex is a necessary part of the storyline, but doesn't take over or get glossed over. I have now read all your submissions and deeply want more.

I commented a few days back about how well you ended monsters in the mountains and if you reply to either of my comments or submit a new chapter of anything it will be just the motivation I currently lack for having an actual literotica log in. You know, so I can chat with you about your stories.

where is the rest of this story?

We'll you know how to start a story do you know how to complete one?

...which could end here or continue. Thanks for the entertainment either way!

Some of the best I have read on Literotica. The ending was a surprise and PERFECT.

anonjerry

The author has passed away.

Such a good plot.

Someone should continue it… // …FTDS?