All Comments on 'Summer Fun'

..you need an editor to help iron out the grammatical errors and give you ideas to create better links in the storyline. For example, when the older woman wants to masturbate, it was too fast a move to the younger woman rubbing her pussy. Is a shy woman really going to suddenly grab another woman's crotch? However, perhaps a tentative touch perhaps first along her thigh, teasing the reader and the protagonist would be more appropriate. Just a few thoughts that I hope you will take with the spirit given.

P. Grimm.