All Comments on 'Supra Blackmail Ch. 02'

Great story, just don't wait another 3 years to add a chapter

More please, lots more

Please don't wait 3 years for the next chapter, thanks!

I hope he goes after beith next

A good stoty but though you know all the words to form a sentance you are very careless in your application sometimes gramatically, insertion of words not in context to the actual sentance and odd spelling.

Sorry but this critism is meant to be constructive, for future writing a decent proof reader would help.

There’s a lot of passion here — who wouldn’t want to be Adam? — but I second the recommendation for using a copy editor. There are a lot of errors and clunkiness that distract from the fun. I’d also read more dialogue — study how it’s constructed and organized. Looking forward to more!

Good premise.

Sex better than in chapter one.

But she does nothing to/for him except to make her breasts/nipples/pussy available.

She never touches his cock and balls.

He never gets to tell her what to do to/with them.

Before the actual fucking there's no dialog about what she's doing. Is she enjoying it? Does she like the feel of his cock? Can she feel how full his balls are? Can she imagine how good it'll feel when he begins to fuck her?

They're doing it doggy style. Nothing about/with/to her ass?

Four stars.