by ErotikWriter
The story died just as soon as anal sex entered the mix. Damn why play around in the outhouse when a good play ground is so close.
I liked the story. You just need to write a bit more like an adult. There is something a bit juvenile about the way the sex is depicted.
But keep on writing!
That may be the best compliment a fifty eight year old grandfather could get! After nine children and twenty three grandchildren, still being able to write with the point of view of someone much younger is a wonderful thing to me. You've made my day!