All Comments on 'Surprises at the Movie Theater'

but it's hidden behind some awkward phrasing. Also the pacing of the story could be better. I could picture what you were writing about and with a few nudges it would be a really hot story. 3*

Maybe try the editing section of the bulletin board and see if you can get a beta-reader or plot editor who could help you.

Above all, keep writing.

Cheers

CharlieB4

Don't submit works you obviously wrote while drunk.

will there be a sequel? tell us about the rest of the summer. Maybe dad gets a bj while she works a gloryhole?

A really enjoyable story. Absolutely loved the description of the very handsy and insistent Jack with you at the back of the cinema. I kike guys like that.

Loved this even though it ended quite abruptly. This could have gone on a longer, with more scenes. Looking forward to reading your other stores to see if there is more of this.