Surrender to Love

"Damn this was a good idea I had," Randy bragged.

"What do you mean, the idea that you had?" I retorted knowing that Randy was a notorious idea thief. Then, not wanting to allow him the pleasure of trying to prove that he had thought of this, I added, "Ok, I'll give you the credit." We both laughed at the old and silly joke, but it was good to laugh together again.

The hot tub soon lulled us into a relaxed and mellow mood. Cleverly, I had thought to set out a bottle of Chardonnay and two glasses when getting the hot tub going earlier. I reached over and revealed my surprise while saying, "I suppose this was your idea too."

Randy smiled as he took his glass from me and said, "No Aaron, you can have the credit for this one." Then lifting his glass in a mock salute he said, "Cheers."

The wine melted away the last of the kinks from our tired muscles. We were now both completely relaxed and recovered from our day of fishing. The wine and the close contact of the last hour had also done a lot to erase the memory of the tension that had been between us. As we sat facing each other in the tub, Randy's leg began to rub against my own. It was a natural reflex to reach down and start massaging his feet.

"Oh, that feels good," Randy moaned. The thought occurred to me that it was usually Sylvia sitting there getting her feet rubbed like this. It always gave me such feelings of tenderness and love to comfort her in this way. Now doing this for Randy, I realized that my feelings were the same. But this time, I didn't fight to stifle them. I had finally become weary from constantly pushing the thoughts and emotions away. Caressing and bringing him comfort was so much more than just a touch, it was a closeness of mutual love and care. It was an inner melting, an awareness of feelings long repressed and avoided.

Continuing the massage, I was soon working on his calves. In order to rub both of his legs Randy had to lay them across mine. Soon we were thoroughly entangled and were gently touching each other in a most intimate way. The recently dowsed flame of lust sprang again to life and quickly built into an inferno as we used our feet to massage one another's erection.

Looking up, I found Randy's eyes locked on me. It was one of those moments when words are spoken without sound and thoughts are communicated in some mystical way. We just sat there, not speaking a word.

Arising from my place and straddling Randy's legs, I settled onto his lap. His stiff cock was like a welcoming friend as it pressed into my own. Without hesitation I lowered my mouth to his and we met in a kiss. The length of that kiss is lost in a blinding fog of memories, it seemed to last forever but at the same time it was only a flash. We had kissed before, but it was nothing like this. Before, it had been in response to Sylvia's prompting and born of sexual passion. It was just two men in the throes of sex snatching a kiss in passing. But this was something entirely different; this was a kiss of love And it rocked me to the core of my being!

Stunned, we finally tore ourselves apart.

Randy started to say, "Aaron..."

I quickly shushed him saying, "Don't...don't say anything." Hugging him tightly to me I added, "Don't try to say anything now... let's just be here... be here together for now." So we just sat there wrapped in one another's arms trying to absorb the new sensations and emotions as they coursed through our brains. I felt his hands on my back softly stroking up and down — and even this seemed to be a reinforcement of these deeper feelings we had uncovered. The feelings were like some inner orgasm of the soul, beyond any ability to describe or understand.

After a few minutes the shock of what had just happened began to ease. Still holding each other I said softly near his ear, "Let's get out and dry off."

That was enough to release us both from the momentary paralysis we were stricken with. We quickly toweled ourselves, and helped each other dry off. Then, taking Randy by the hand, we walked toward the cabin. Dusk was settling over the surrounding forest. The late August sun was finally sinking into the northwest and another long Alaskan day was transforming itself into the soft glow of an Alaskan night. The few clouds drifting overhead were being painted in the soft pastel colors found only in the far north. The delicately changing colors and growing stillness of the evening were a perfect reflection of the peace beginning to envelop me.

Neither of us spoke. I don't think either of us gave any thought to saying or doing anything except to go as quickly as possible to the large bed. The bed that had been the stage for many an act of passion between the three of us. But tonight there were only two. I knew, and I think Randy did as well, that this was a special moment. One of those times in a person's life when events conspire to change the very fabric of one's being, changing forever how life is to be lived from that moment forward.

Finally, at the side of the bed, we once again brought our nude bodies together. Our lips sought out their mate for another deep and passionate kiss. Randy's erection was already pressed against my own, but reaching behind him and cupping his butt in both hands I pulled him closer into me, thinking to draw him inside of me if only I tried hard enough. Breaking our embrace, Randy gently but firmly pushed me onto the bed and laid his body on mine. Another kiss on my lips and then he, and his kisses, began sliding down my body until his face was buried in the hair of my crotch. He continued the kissing and licking, but now it was my hard cock, my balls and my entire body that he devoured in frenzied lust. Suddenly it seemed that he had gone wild in his passion.

Pulling Randy back up the bed and subduing him in a strong embrace, I forced another kiss on his lips. The barriers and confusion of the last couple of days were being incinerated by the power of our kisses. The inner battle we had fought was being surrendered. The battle to deny the new and strange feelings that we had been unable to understand or accept was ending. It was a surrender of love, a surrender of acceptance. It was surrender to a love strong enough to envelop and bind two men together forever. Not the brotherly affection or mere sexual lust that we had known before, but the erotic passion that is known only to those who are in love.

If we had stopped at this point, just the unveiling, the acknowledgment, the acceptance of that love would have been more than I could have ever hoped for. Finding the rare flame of such love in this world is reward enough. But as is always the case with such intense love, the heat from its flame within spreads quickly outward to every limb, molecule and atom. It filled the entirety of our beings and it set in motion an inferno that could only be quenched in physical release.

It was the physical that now took over, a physical need being pressed forward by something much greater. It was two men locked in the heat of a battle that neither had ever known before. A battle of sexual passion far beyond that of rowdy play or lustful sex, it was a battle spurred on and fueled by love.

In this awakening, we began to see, and taste, and feel one another's bodies with a heightened awareness. Together on the big bed, me on my knees with Randy on his back under me, we lingered together, our mouths on erect nipples. We sucked the hard buds into our mouths and fondled one another's erections in unison, bringing the same intense pleasures to each other now as if our actions were somehow connected and controlled by a single thought. The sensuous vibrations that had started with soft tongues on delicate nipples quickly coursed though hidden nerves to the very ends of our engorged cocks. Wanting more, and also wanting to give more, I replaced the hand on Randy's dick with my mouth. Finding my nipple taken from him, Randy followed my lead and he instantly had me in his own mouth as we merged naturally into the pleasure of mutual cock sucking. What love I felt as we satisfied our inner hunger on each other's flesh!

But I still wanted; no, I needed more. A need to somehow consume all of him swept over me. A need to posses my lover's body in the same way that he seemed to possess my soul. In search of this taking, my mouth began to explore Randy's balls as if I could somehow feed on them and thus know him all the more. In a final effort to have more of him, I moved from Randy's side to the bottom of the bed so my face could be between his spread legs. Oh such a sight, now I could see and have it all!

Now it was my turn alone to be the giver of pleasure. But the word "alone" is not quite accurate, for in love there is as much pleasure to be the one giving as the one receiving. So in this sense, my mouth and tongue became instruments of love to bestow as much delight as possible to us both. I licked and sucked every surface of the sensitive skin that was laid open and exposed before me. There was no neglect as I worked from the tip of Randy's dick, down the vein covered shaft, across his balls and up the entire length of his open and revealed crack. I drove my tongue as far as possible into his tight little hole. This clearly pleased him and he lifted his legs higher and spread himself wide so that he could have even more of my tongue in his body. And as his arousal at having his body filled in this way built, so also did mine. Was it possible that we had discovered the way to fully posses and satisfy one another?

As our passion intensified, so also did our indulgence. Randy was now on his knees with his head on the bed. He was holding his own butt wide for my ministrations, but when I tried to insert a finger he was still too tight.

Randy gasped out, "I think there is some K-Y in the drawer."

I hastily retrieved the lube and began to apply it to Randy's sensitive hole. Now it was easy to fully explore that which had been hidden from me. Wasting no more time in foreplay, I worked to open this passage into my lover.

The gel worked wonders, and now three of my fingers squeezed tightly together slid easily into Randy's ass. He had submitted quickly and relaxed himself to my probing. We had engaged in anal sex before, but it had always been at Sylvia's urging. She was always more aroused by watching "her two men" humping than we were. But this time was different. This time I wanted to enter Randy's body more than anything I could imagine. More than anything I had ever wanted. He signaled by his actions that he too wanted and needed to be filled. We both longed to be joined in the most intimate union two men can know.

Time now to rub some of the clear gel onto my hard penis. It was fully awake, completely aroused, standing proud and stiff pointing towards my belly. I squeezed another liberal dose into Randy's open hole and worked myself into position behind him.

It was a shock to me when Randy said, " No, Aaron stop!" He quickly rolled away and onto his back before continuing, "I want to see your face as you fuck me. I want to open my legs and feel you lay on top of me."

In that moment I knew that what Randy had done was perfect. Perfect except for one thing. Expressing my thought aloud I said, "I'm not going to fuck you Randy. I'm going to make love to you. In the only and best way I know, I'm going to show you my love."

"I love you too," Randy said in a hoarse and cracking voice that was barely recognizable, "and I want to show you my love in this way. I have never, and would never, let any other man do this to me. I'm giving you everything I have."

"And I love you for it." I said, lowering myself onto him for another kiss.

With a little arranging of pillows and bodies, Randy now lay under me open and vulnerable. He lifted his legs and held them wide as I positioned the head of my dick on his opening. Holding it firmly and pressing slowly into the one I treasured, I took care not to cause him pain. My concerns were unfounded. Randy was more than ready to be taken. He raised his hips to signal his need and readiness for me to enter into him with more vigor. Almost immediately we were rewarded with the initial joining of our bodies. It was easy now; and because of our passion, the liberal use of the K-Y and my rock hard erection, I was quickly buried to my balls inside of Randy's ass hole.

If only my words could describe the emotions I felt as I first lowered my body into his! Words are inadequate though, at least my words are. Oh, what joy to be able to speak of the physical pleasure mingled with and intensified by the love in my heart. But how can mere words possibly describe the multitude of sensory pleasures and emotional highs experienced as I pushed myself into his open body? Or the sensations when his heat enveloped me as his arms first enfolded, and then drew me ever closer? Was it love, or was it lust that began to consume me as if to destroy me from both within and from without?

"Ohhh," Randy moaned, as he felt the hardness of my body fill him. "Oh, Aaron, I love you so much." Then more urgently, "Do it! Fuck me...please...do me!"

Laying my full weight on him, I started to rock and hump my hard cock into his ass. As if he had been doing this all his life, Randy returned my efforts and we quickly found ourselves in the age-old dance of men in love. No more inner conflicts. No more lies. Just the sharing of mutual adoration and caring between two individuals accepting the companionship and love that fate had brought into our lives.

I could feel Randy's hard and swollen dick pressing against my belly as I rocked into him. I began to be somewhat concerned that he would not receive the ultimate bliss from our lovemaking. Then, his moans and movements signaled that he too was getting the stimulation that he needed to reach his climax. It was not only the hard shaft buried into his body, but also my muscled belly rubbing on his sensitive cock that was driving him crazy. Realizing that he too would cum, I relaxed and started to fuck him with abandon. He wrapped his legs around me and soon we were rocking the bed as we wrestled in our love.

"Yes...Yes...Yes!" Randy repeated, alternating between, "Fuck me... Fuck me... Fuck me!"

It was becoming almost impossible for me to hold it any longer! I didn't want to disappoint him, but I was going over the edge. In desperation I gasped, "Ohhh, I'm going to cum... I can't hold it...Damn it, I can't hold on..."

Those words had a wonderful affect on Randy. No sooner had they escaped from my lips and he stiffened, and a warm wetness spread across my stomach as he moaned, "Me too, oh fuck me! Fuck me! I'm cumming, ohhh, fuckkk..." Randy held me tight as the waves of his orgasm rendered him helpless.

Two more plunges thrust deep into his ass, and my own moan echoed his as I stiffened and emptied my love deep into Randy's body. My orgasm seemed to go on for an eternity as spasms of pleasure swept over me, each burst of my ejaculation emptying more of my essence into the willing and open man who lay under me. Then it was over, everything was done and we collapsed together as his sticky semen spread across our stomachs.

We lay entwined as the strength drained and ebbed from our bodies like two dying warriors on some ancient field of conflict. Spent and exhausted, we had nothing left to give nor any desire to take. Instead of blood, it was our own seed that drained from us. And just like those ancient clashes had been fought in answer to some great cause, so too, our own struggle had laid to rest the inner conflict of our hearts. All had been resolved in the moment of climax and our surrender to love.

*****

EPILOGUE

The week Randy and I spent together in that remote sanctuary brought about a turning point in our lives. To write in detail of every word, thought and emotion from that week would perhaps be enjoyable for me, but I fear it would become tedious for those reading this. Hopefully, what has been said provides you some insight into the intensity of what we discovered as we relinquished our fear of the unknown for the hope of love. In our surrender, we discovered a new depth in our relationship. What we had thought of as love before was not love at all, or at best it had been a growing love. During that week our hearts had been plowed open and something sweet and wonderful was planted in the wounds.

Please do not judge us too harshly. I know that the lives we live and the love we share are not common. But, do we choose the ones we love, or are they chosen by some greater power and then presented before us to either accept or reject? Who can say? It is safe to say though, that I would have never imagined that it would be me to fall in love with a woman and another man at the same time. No, I myself would have been the one rushing to condemnation and judgment. But now, look who has been cut down by this strange love! Humbled, I can only ask forgiveness for my harsh judgments spoken in ignorance towards those who have known a similar love before me. And as for me, I will judge no more.

So now I leave you with this:

The love kindled in our hearts has sparked a fire that brightens and warms our souls on those long, cold and dark Yukon nights.

*****

The third and final part of this trilogy is; Surrender To More