All Comments on 'Surrogate Mother-in-Law becomes Wife'

confusing and poorly written. Seriously needs an editor.

No body made you read the story,Its free,

Repeatedly talking about treatments, dining and dancing, becoming closer. Could have reduced the total story by a third. Obviously didn't proof read before submitting.

I feel that the writer could do with some courses in the English language, it was like reading shorthand.

Why keep repeating the same thing over and over again?

Look, you wrote a story, its fine, as one other reader wrote, no one is forced to read it. My mother in law agreed to do the same for us but it didn't work. We all had a talk about it and agreed to stop the treatments. However my wife and her mother came up with the idea that since her mother was still ovulating maybe, but only if I agreed, we could have sex and try the natural way. My wife was persistent, so we agreed to a meeting. Gloria, her mother, sat as my wife talked. In the end I asked Gloria was she sure, no she wasn't but it seemed the only chance left for the same gene pool. Gloria then asked me, I said, I am reluctant, no offense to you and I appreciate your help but I would say no. My wife cried, our last chance, she said if it was an anonymous younger person you would. I thought to myself, maybe, but this was my mother in law. You are being selfish, now I was the awful person. We went home, she didn't talk to me and I felt bad. I got a phone call next day from Gloria ,please meet me at Sids café, we need to talk. I told my wife, good, listen to her. Well, Gloria had dressed, stunning,tight knee length skirt, nylons, nice blouse, hair done, high heels.. I greeted her, I told her she looked nice, she held me and said, nice enough to fuck, the first time I had heard her swear. My cock responded, I answered, well they think so as I saw 3 guys at a table looking at her. I didn't ask them, I asked you. We had coffee and a small snack. To cut a long conversation short, she said my last chance, after today, no more offers,for her daughter, for your wife, you have both said you want children, short of adopting, try this once. Do you not find me attractive enough, hell no, I mean yes, I mean that is not the issue, what is then, well your my mother in law, yes, but your wife, my daughter is ok with this. If the mother in law thing is the issue, then think of me as your hot secretary who is willing to do anything for you and I mean anything as her hand grabbed mine and put it on her knee, spreading her legs, come on take me home and fuck me. I stood up, ok, enough, she stood, my place then. I have to ring my wife, she took the phone from me, after, not before, you would not tell her about your hot secretary. We drove, her hand moved my hand to under her skirt, to her pussy, no panties, warm, damp, that's it finger me, she got wetter as I got harder. We were there, she got out of my car, come on as we walked up one flight of stairs, pulling her skirt up so I got a good view of her sexy ass.. she dragged me into her bedroom,, undressing as I undressed, then knelt on the bed, her pussy and ass presented to me, come on give it to me and I pushed my hard cock deep into her wet pussy and it wasn't long before I blew my cum into her before still hard collapsing on top of her. She didn't say anything but I felt and heard her sobbing, so I moved away., laying next to her. I put my arm on her back, you ok, I felt bad, she faced me, yes, I think so, thank you, no thank you I am sorry I put you and my wife through this torment. that's ok, I wasn't sure either, I was especially not sure how I would feel, but I am glad we did it., to tell the truth I enjoyed it. Her hand went to my cock slowly stroking me, I am at my most fertile for the next 5 days, I think it would be wise if we did the same in 2 days, then 2 days later just to give it the best possible chance, you ok with that, your wife is. Sure, I will leave it up to you two. Good boy as she moved down, her mouth over my cock, then straddled me, lets not leave anything to chance and I delivered my second load of the day and she sat on me until I shrank out of her. now go home and tell your wife what has happened. I did, she was overjoyed. Yes, I did follow the program, 2 days, then 2 days. Honestly I looked forward to it, then the wait, yes she did get pregnant, we had a girl. No I did not have sex with my mother in law again, I wanted too but it never happened. the thing that happened though was that I hired an older secretary who doesn't mind being bent over my desk her skirt high up over her hips as I fuck her.

A love story as love stories are. Good work.

Please learn English grammar and syntax!

Please be inform this is not a English Language website. If you forget let me remind you. I write story to entertain. If you find it so distressing about grammar and syntax please let me read your article if you dare take my challenge. How fluent are you really in English? Queen or USA English or other variations?

I read many stories here, including yours, and probably comment about five percent of the time, although I always vote. If I know the author's native language is not the Queen's English, American, or any other variation, that is taken into account for the vote and if I comment then also there. My point is, you write and usually hope for votes and comments; not everyone considers the author's circumstances when they comment. I would say, "that if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen". I know I'm not a writer or a grade A grammar critic so I make no attempt at either so tough it out, suck it up, and let the unpleasant comments go and laugh to and at yourself.

You have the guts to put your name in your comment. I never want to have votes or comment. I am also not keen to join in a competition. I learned now I can suppress that. If and when someone make a comment I must respond. Who doesn't especially when kept repeating about GOOD English, grammar, editor and use ANONYMOUS to hide their true self. Let's face it. I write story, real life ones with a twist of fiction to add flavor to text. Not a English class. Go to the next entry if you can't tolerate my writing. I stand by what I write and stand to be commented.

A little lie, some call a "white lie" is a fiction invented to avoid unnecessarily hurting a person's feelings. Lets see how that works

Where in - vitro fertilization for a Mother willing to carry her daughter's embryo, has repeatedly failed, recourse to natural means works and Mom is pregnant with a baby represented as her daughter's. What need is there to tell the truth and disrupt a family relationship?

Unable to conceive due to cancer believed to be in remission, daughter during the course of Mom's pregnancy succumbs to the disease. Daughter dying never knowing the truth requests that that Mom treat the baby as her own. A death bed confession by Mom and daughter's husband would make no sense.

Marriage follows after a month of mourning.There's no need now to conceal the connection. The new daughter needs a family.

The erotic element of an affair supports the story line and of the emotional constraints on revealing the truth. Similar stories on Literotica include Heironymous's "No Intercourse Rule."

I too am a writer however never published any here. My stories reside on fanfiction.net. I hate grammer police too as they never seem to have any other life than make our life miserable. One thing you said struck a cord with me though.

You said you write because you want to write. You write for yourself mainly. I said the exact same thing about my own writing. I write or rather wrote for my own pleasure.

Sure positive comments makes feel good but that is not the reason I wrote. I wrote to convey the multiple ideas I have in my head to others in the form of stories. If they like it fine if not there are multiple other stories they can read.

As for this story, I liked it and thought it was well written. I would give it five stars but the subject matter is not quite my cup of tea but that again is my problem not yours.

Thanks for the read,

John

I found the story to be quite warming, the love of the mother to try and carry her daughters baby. The fact that the husband and mother in law resorted to a natural fertilization was not an issue due to the fact she was the mother of the wife and the wife with her illness could not produce viable eggs. The daughter died happy thinking that it was her egg that created the baby, nothing would have been accomplished by telling her different. In the end it was sad but with the birth of her husbands and mothers child, well who would want to deny them a happily ever after. 5 stars

An unusual story and very nicely told.

A nice story, I liked it a lot. AAAA++++

stupidist fucking story ever, didnt go past 3 sentences

That was a trash story and talking about needing a editor

Xsiveone is right on 1 thing if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen I'm not a grammar expert however I do like to read a story that can actually be enjoyable if the grammar is bad enough it makes the story less enjoyable I fully understand if English is not your native language however most proudly states that English isn't there native language which makes it understandable with the grammar issues that is why I stated you needed a editor it makes the story more enjoyable and easier to read if you are trying to understand what you're reading even though it's written in English if you can't enjoy the story for what it is an as a entertainment piece I have also tried my hand at writing though I normally write poetry not short stories such as this though I may give it a shot eventually as far as this not being a English site your correct for the most part it's a all language site but depending upon things most stories on here is written in the English language if that is not your native language to avoid unwanted comments on that in the future just make it known either way a editor can't hurt you any at all they just help make your story easier to read so people can enjoy it and not have to try so hard to understand it I write my poems for myself however I do like to hear criticism about them for that helps me to write a better 1 in the future a editor also allows for that as far as me thinking story is trash well that has everything to do with the disrespect that was shown very clearly in the whole situation from both the husband and mother in law and her being on her death bed I mean seriously what would hurt to have told the daughter the truth