Suspicion and Paranoia

Harry patted me on the shoulder and finally spoke.

"I'm sure sorry about this Jim. I'll let you talk to Linda by yourself. Let me know if I can help in any way."

"Thanks Harry. I guess you can attest to the authenticity of my photographs can't you?"

"I sure can. See you later." He told me as I followed him to the front door and he left.

I heard the shower come on as I went and made myself a drink and sat down to wait for my wife.

It was half an hour later that she came, hesitantly, down the stairs, sat in the chair opposite me and then sat staring at the floor. I watched her and waited. Finally:

"I'm sorry, so very sorry."

"I need some answers to some questions."

"I know." She responded quietly with her head still down looking at the carpet.

"I guess you're going to tell me you wanted the intercourse I couldn't give you."

She didn't say anything but I saw her head nod slightly before she spoke.

"I didn't want you to think that what you could give me wasn't enough. I love you with all my heart but visions of going through the rest of my life without sexual fulfillment was too much." "Many married couples exist without sex at all for various reasons. I don't accept that as an excuse. There were other reasons besides that and I think your friend Joyce is the instigating force behind your adultery. It was lust and the excitement of cuckolding me. "

Her head jerked up when she heard me say Joyce's name and she stared at me wide-eyed.

"You knew?"

"Yes, I knew right after your first time. I've been waiting for you to repeat your treacherous behavior so I could catch you at it. It looks like I hit the jackpot."

"Does that mean we're finished? Please don't say that. You don't know how sorry I am and we have 22 years invested in our marriage together."

"I don't see any payback in the future for that investment now. Our kids are gone and we have nothing of value I can see in this marriage right now. I wouldn't be able to trust you and I'd always be wondering what you were doing if I weren't around.

"What are you going to tell the kids?"

"I'm going to tell them the truth and if they doubt me I'll show them the pictures I have."

"Oh god, please don't do that."

"They should know the truth so I don't end up the bad-guy in this. Now tell me who your lover is."

He's my trainer at the gym I've been going to. His name is Kurt Benson. I wanted to make my body more appealing to you." .

"Gym?"

I've been going there about four weeks and I was hoping you would find me more attractive and maybe you could get hard again."

I shook my head in disbelief. How would the husbands in the cheating wife stories handle this? They were telling me to throw the slut out but she was my wife and she'd made a mistake. God, she looked so contrite and unhappy. I was supposed to keep my wife through better or worse but she had broken her vow to forsake all others. I was confused as to what I should do as I continued to query her.

"But you decided not to wait to see if you could get me hard again?"

"I'm sorry, it was just that it had been so long and I was so horny and he was so flattering and wanting that it was just so easy gave in. It all seems so cheap and humiliating now. Please don't say we're through. I'd like to go to a marriage counselor and find out why I did what I did and what I have to do so I never do it again so you can regain your trust."

"You hurt me very much you know. I thought we had a good marriage and I could count on your loyalty and faithfulness forever. This has really given my trust and love for you a shock and I don't know whether it can be overcome."

"Jim, I'll do anything to keep us together. Please give us a chance to stay together."

"I'm still mad at you and can't think about an us right now. I'm going to move out for awhile. Maybe a separation will give this situation a chance to cool down and we can have the time to determine what we want out of a marriage. I'm telling you right now that one of the primary things that I will insist on if we ever get back together is that you rid yourself of Joyce in every way. I won't want you to even think about her and I don't want you near any men again."

"I understand." she whispered.

With that I turned and went into our bedroom and began packing. Linda followed me, still crying, as I went about gathering my clothes and some other items I would need, including my laptop and printer. She continued to stand near the bed sobbing as I packed. When I finished I began by moving my suitcases down to the garage. Going down the street I moved the rental car into the driveway and packed it as she continued to watch me with tears running down her face. I refused to look at her as I pulled away and headed back to my motel room.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The next day I went over to the bank and took half the money out of our checking and savings and put it in a new account in my name only. I also rented another safe deposit box and put half our CDs in it from our joint box. That's the way the cuckolded husbands did it in the stories so I thought I should do it too. I left my will, investments and insurance alone for now until I saw how things were going to go in our marriage.

I called my lawyer and told him about Linda's lover, Kurt, and he thought I might have a case against the gym for sexual harassment especially since I had pictures of the tryst. I told him to go ahead and pursue it and see if I couldn't punish them and Kurt financially for seducing my wife.

On Thursday I called her office and found out she was out on a showing so I slipped back home and checked the phone messages. She'd been talking with Joyce again.

"Hi, how did it go Tuesday?' Joyce was asking.

"Bad, Jim showed up and caught me and him together in our bed."

"Oh shit! What happened?"

"He's left me and I don't know if he's coming back." Linda sobbed.

"Damn! Did he say anything about me?"

"I can't see or talk to you again. This will be our last conversation forever if I want a chance to get him back. Somehow he knew you were encouraging me to have an affair."

"How the hell did he know that?"

"I don't know, but he knew."

"He must have your phone bugged. I'm hanging up now before he gets me in trouble with Bill. Have a good life Linda."

They hung up and it gave me some satisfaction that Linda had broken her connection to Joyce. I would continue to monitor the situation to see if she kept away from her and also from Kurt and other men. She might suspect about the house phone being bugged but she didn't realize the extent of my monitoring activities and she might slip up.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I began a search for a furnished apartment that I could have on a month to month basis and found one on the other side of town near my work. I didn't want to even see Linda for a few months let alone talk to her. I was hoping a time apart would allow me to assess my marriage and relationship with Linda and allow her time to determine if she really wanted to stay married to me. It would give me time to read the stories for any guidance they could give me.

After getting settled into my apartment I decided to do something about that slut, Joyce. I called Bill on the phone and asked him if he could come to my office as I had something for him. I figured my office would be more private than a restaurant (I often wondered why those authors scheduled confrontations and discussions regarding private matters in public places). He agreed to come over that afternoon and when he arrived he had a puzzled look on his face as we shook hands and he sat down as I closed the door then regained my seat at my desk.

"What's up Jim? You sounded a little vague on the phone."

"I guess I'd better start by telling you that Linda and I have separated."

"Oh hell, that's too bad. What's the reason? Did she catch you doing something you shouldn't?"

"No, I caught her with a lover."

"Damn, that's a bummer. Are you going to divorce her?"

"Its on my mind, but I'm going to think about it for awhile first. We've got 22 good years together that has to mean something."

"How did you find out?"

The conversation was getting to where I wanted it now.

"I've always been a little paranoiac and I bug our phones once in awhile."

"Was she talking to the guy?"

This was it. We were almost there and I began to relish what I was going to reveal to him shortly.

"No, she was talking you your wife, Joyce."

"Joyce? You're kidding?"

"No, do you want to listen to their conversation?"

He hesitated for a moment but I knew I had him.

"Yeah, sure. I don't know how Joyce got into this."

"Just listen and you will find out."

I started the recorder on my desk and we listened as Linda and Joyce repeated their conversation of only two weeks ago.

When Joyce began to tell Linda about how to keep me from finding out about her affair I saw his face begin to get red. Then when she announced she'd been cuckolding Bill for five years he turned pale and I thought he was going to puke.

"That bitch slut." He gasped out. "Damn her to hell. She just told me last week she was pregnant and I was going to be a daddy. What the hell do I do now? If I divorce her she'll probably get custody of my kid and I'll be paying child support and alimony."

"I guess that depends on who the father of the child is." I told him. If she has the baby and you find out its not yours you can take her to the cleaners in a divorce action. You could probably get out of it scot free."

"Damn!! That sounds good but am I going to have to live with the slut for the next seven months until I find out?"

"Think about it now. This little telephone recording is not going to be sufficient proof of a wrong doing in court. However, if you wait and gather proof that can be authenticated you stand a better chance of getting yourself off the hook financially."

"What do you mean 'authenticated'?"

"Something that will stand up in court such as information and data from a bonded P.I. I took pictures of Linda's indiscretion in our bed and had a neighbor there to say he witnessed what was going on and could verify my pictures. If you can't get them verified you can always use them for revenge later by putting them on the internet."

"OK, I get it. So how do I go about getting what I need?"

"You're going to have to figure how you're going to get the goods on Joyce but you know from the recording she does it on Thursday nights while she's supposed to be on girl's night out. That should narrow down the field somewhat but I think Joyce will be laying low for awhile until she sees if there's going to be any fall-out from my catching Linda. I believe your wife was instrumental on Linda going astray and I've asked her to stay away from your wife if she ever wants to get back with me."

"So that means if I want to catch her and get evidence of her adultery I'm going to have to live with her and pretend I don't know anything. I can't believe she's been doing it for five years and I never caught on. We've only been married twelve years."

"I guess you never heard of the seven year itch."

"I may have heard of it but never thought it would apply to me."

"We're both learning something from all this and I want to make sure I never go through it again."

"OK, I want to thank you for what you told me. I guess I could have gone on dumb and happy but I would sure like to know if its my kid she's going to be having. Now, I guess I'll go home tonight and try to act natural. If she's been putting on an act for five years I can put one on for seven months."

We said our good byes, shook hands and he left shaking his head. I felt better knowing I'd put some screws into his slut wife.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

For the next six months I continued to live alone and stayed away from Linda. I'd gotten a new cell phone number and had an unlisted number for the phone in the apartment. I did allow her to contact me by email if there was an emergency but she knew my desires that she not contact me even at work. I continued to make the mortgage payments on the house and paid for a maintenance including insurance. I had a vested interest in the house I didn't want to lose. I let her take care of the utilities.

My idea was to let her stew and think about what we meant to each other while I tried to figure out what my position was going to be when I finally decided whether I wanted to continue our marriage or not. In the meantime I continued to monitor her activities but never caught her doing anything I could call indiscrete. She went out with her mother shopping once a week and continued to work part time at the realtor. I don't know what she told her mother about our separation.

I talked with our kids and just told them her mother and I were having a problem and not to worry about it. Our daughter told me that Linda had told her that she had done something bad and was hoping I would forgive her. Our son didn't seem to be worried about it. I guess kids just think infidelity in a marriage is acceptable now.

During our separation I kept going to work and included the gym in my daily activities as well as monitoring my calorie intake. Every month I had to take my business suits to the tailor to have them taken in and finally I had to buy mostly new clothing after five months when I got down to two hundred pounds. I was feeling a lot better and was able to back off on my blood pressure medication. The thing that I was really pleased about was that I was starting to wake up with a woody in the mornings and I was needing the five finger salute to relieve myself. The people at work were quite lavish in their praise of the new me but I was determined to gradually lose another twenty pounds before I eased off on my quest. Most of the people had surmised that my wife and I were separated and I was pretty sure a couple of the girls in the office were interested in me but I wasn't sure. It had been so long since I'd been attractive enough to warrant the interest of the opposite sex that I didn't know how to respond.

I didn't hear much from Bill for awhile, but one day he called and asked if he could come over to my office and I set aside some time for him. When he got there we shook hands and I motioned him to a seat while I shut the door. He related that he had gone to the expense of hiring a P.I. and had finally gotten a report with pictures that documented her affair with a guy that was married and had two kids. It had been hard a first pretending to act normally around her but he felt that he should get an Oscar for his performance so far but now that he had conclusive proof of her infidelity he was proceeding immediately for a separation until the baby was born. His lawyer told him that he continued to live with her knowing she was fooling around it would look like he was accepting the fact of her cheating and the court could act accordingly. By separating and delaying the divorce until the birthing it would support his case for adultery very much if the baby wasn't his.

I wished him luck and since I had in extra bedroom in my apartment I asked him if he wanted to move in and share the rental costs. He'd been living in a motel and was finding that expensive so he jumped on my offer. I gave him the address of my apartment and an extra key I carried and he was off to get packed and move.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Finally, I decided it was time to sit down with Linda and have a talk. Some of my rage had dissipated and I thought we'd both had enough time apart to determine whether we wanted a marriage. I called her at home one evening.

"Hello."

"Linda, its me. I think we need to get together for a talk."

I heard her take a deep breath before responding.

"Alright Jim, when do you want to do this?"

"How about tomorrow evening at the house?"

"Can you come for dinner?"

"No, I think we just need to talk, coffee would be nice and I'll be there at seven."

"Alright, I'll be waiting..... and Jim?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"Thank you Linda. I'll see you tomorrow evening. Bye."

"Bye Jim."

Well, I had done it. I'd bitten the bullet and I was going to be talking to her after months apart. I wondered what she would say about the new me.

Arriving at the house at seven I went up and rang the doorbell. When she came to the door she started to speak.

"Jim, why did you ring........"

She stopped and stared at me.

Jim, is that you?"

I couldn't speak for a moment. She had lost a lot of weight herself and she really looked great. She's dressed herself in hip hugging slacks and a blouse with a deep neckline. The slacks showed off her female hips and derriere and the blouse allowed her amplw cleavage to show. She was a different person than when I'd last seen her.

"Linda, you're beautiful." I managed to gasp out.

She blushed and smiled as she reached down and took my hand to pull me inside.

"You're something of a hunk yourself. What happened?"

"I guess we need to sit down and bring one another up to date." I said.

Before sitting down she asked me if I would like the coffee now and I nodded as she turned and went into the kitchen. It brought back fond memories of when we were younger and were hot for one another to watch her hips sway in a most beguiling way as she moved. I was feeling a small tingling in my groin as I seated myself on the sofa and waited her return. I was beginning to think that maybe my libido was going to determine our upcoming negotiations.

When she came back she had two mugs of black coffee, the way we both liked it and handed me one. Sitting at the other end of the sofa she took a sip of her coffee as I asked about her new body.

"So, tell me about it. How did you the new you come about?"

"I think I mentioned before we parted that I'd started going to a gym but I didn't get a chance to tell you I was also dieting. I've stuck with it and what you see is the result."

"Let me tell you again, that you look wonderful."

"Thank you, and let me tell you again that I really like the new you too. Tell me about it."

"I guess my story is pretty much about the same as yours."

Then I related to her what the specialist had me doing and I was planning to surprise her when I discovered her little affair.

When I mentioned about her affair she suddenly looked stricken and very sad.

"Can you ever forgive me Jim? I've cursed myself for all the time we've been apart for doing it and hurting you. I keep thinking all the things I could have done to solve our problem and I took the worst one just to please myself. It was such a self centered thing to do."

"That's what we're here to talk about, Linda. What are we going to do? After the time we've been apart I've had time to think about it and I'm close to a decision, but I need you're input. Do you want us to continue and can I trust you in the future if we do? I am concerned about trust because I gather you really enjoyed yourself immensely with your lover."

"Yes, I absolutely want us to continue." she responded decisively, "and as far as trust is concerned that is something I can swear I will never get involved with another man or woman as long as I live. I don't care whether we can have vaginal sex or not; you're too important to me to ever do that again. As far as liking it with Kurt I have to admit it was nice to feel something inside me again, but I can get just as much of a thrill with a dildo and it can never compare to doing it with someone I love."

I just stared at her until I could come up with the words to respond. Before I could do that she continued with a hesitant smile on her face. I noticed she was leaning over toward me letting her blouse hang open allowing me to see her breasts. Damn, was she trying to seduce me?