All Comments on 'Swapped'

Hi Lenny, I am not an experience writer and would not think I was worthy to critique your story, I am however an avid reader of all types. I offer feedback as a reader.

It was a good story as far as I got. A single literotica page is like ten-eleven pages if published in a paper novel, if it were a novella with a big story and a pressure cooker build-up 6 literotica pages might be the right amount. I felt it was too much for this story in one go.

There was little suspense in the story, by the second paragraph you had outlined the daughters wish to fuck her daddy, this was a stroke and shoot story. If you shoot by page three, equivalent to 30 paper pages into a 70 page story do you read to the finish? Not unless you have a lot of spare time.

I am not a fan of too many chapters in a story, don't understand when people are publishing chapter 95, however I feel this story may have benefited from possibly being published in a couple of chapters as each character was introduced into the sex and the relationships got crazy.

I enjoyed the first three pages and hope to come back and read the rest another day.

Thanx for the story

I write all lengths, depending on what fits the story I want to tell. Another story I posted this week is only 1 Lit page. This is the length that fit this story, which is about far more than Julie's initial intent to seduce Steve. The three segments of the story didn't wind up being the same length, so I posted them together rather do than 3 unequal submissions, but the whole would be rated as a novelette, in between short story and novella, which is itself shorter than novel-length. This is about 20k words. By contrast, I have a series on here that amounts to 4 novels, each divided into six Lit submissions/chapters for a total of 24, and it has done just fine with most readers.

Although - I think you mixed up some names in a couple of places. All the discussion about 'legalities' was a real distraction - at least for me.

A solid story... thank you.

.....have the engine in the back, not luggage space. An interesting tale, nevertheless.

The old models had the engine in the back, but the "New" version VW introduced, that would include Julie's 2001 model, have a front engine. I did Google to check. Try it sometime.

It is my wish to be only constructive, not bitching. I enjoy the length of it. I prefer longer stories. It is not your fault someone is too illiterate to read, their ADD is to much for them to read that long. And newer VWs do have front engine. There were the couple name mixups, but you acknowledged and corrected that. The only thing even mildly out of step.was the whole genetics things about Julie being the twins sister. If testing were done, it would still show them as cousins. I'm in medicine. Trust me, it would not.be an issue. And probably only med geeks like me would notice. It takes.absolutely nothing away from a great story. Hope to see many more. In fact, Kathy's stepbrother may not be interested,.but I'll bet her older may have had a taste.of.that forbidden fruit. Keep it up!

....certainly were made with front engines but these are no more "Beetles" than current "Golfs" etc. Just being pernickety for fun. Cheers.

.....just for fun, VW beetles were being made in Germany till 2003. Cheers.

h

I don't know what part of the medical field the anonymous commenter claims to be in, but every source I found online related to the question of the degree of relatedness of double cousins born to two pairs of identical twins backs me up.

My identical twin and I married identical twins. We were swapping on our honeymoons since we married them in a twin ceremony.after 3 years of being together and continuously swapping partners, I got an overseas assignment. My wife couldn't go because she was holding too important of a job, so I took my sister-in-law. We lived in Rome for 4 years and we had twin girls. My brother impregnated my wife and they had twin boys.then we swapped wives again while my bother did an overseas assignment. When the kids all turned 18, we all got in the same city so we bought a huge house and all of lived there.

As you can imagine, the twins paired off and after learning to fuck each other, they went into swapping off. By the time the girls were 20, they were pregnant and one had a boy, the other a girl. It's going tobe interesting to see if and when they match up.

I love reading your stories Leenysman. They are generally well written, seriously interesting, and in this one in particular, well thought out with an interesting twist.

I would love to see a continuance of this story, just to see how things pan out over time.

Thank You.

A corrected version of the story has been uploaded, fixing some of the errors noted above.

I loved it and would love to read a second part of them in the future. Great story

99.9% of daughters fucked by daddy is rape...mom/son is sons choice

I stumbled onto this Leenysman story due to interest in twins. Got far more (and better) than I expected! Thought it was over at end of page 2, which would have been appropriate. But it just grew bigger from there. And more complicated. And more twins! Eventually a little of it a little beyond my brain. But you explained it well, it's just that I'm old and too lazy to think.

Great. Interesting. Lots of dialog. No spelling or grammar issues bugged me. 5 stars because I cannot give it 10. All in one chapter so did not have to interrupt for chapter changes.

Leenysman, like it that you respond in public comments -- and agreed with you.

Also thanks for letting us Anonymous comment. Some don't. Actually, named comments are anonymous because it's not the real name. And my anonymous is named because I end with

Paul in Oklahoma

Written with passion and excellence.

Your story had my mind racing and my pussy warm wet and lips and clit thick as can be.

If my son werent laying next to me while i was reading this, i would have jilled til i came.

On the flip side of that thought..if my son was in the same boat as my erotic desires...i couldve had mind blowing sex with him and his huge cock!

Looking forward to more!

Came for the stepdaughter mother stepfather threeway formation, but received more than I thought. Plenty of action and combination. One of the best of the incest genre. I am thorougly satisfied.

The story line was brilliant and imaginative, it was a lot of mixed wires but came together really well.

Is more incest....

I gave up trying to keep up with the degree of kin between the participants, besides, my mind was too occupied with the plots and action going on.

I think I've read the biggest part of your incest stories but tomorrow night I'll check through your stories again to be sure.

And still a little too complicated for my lazy brain to stop and try to figure out.

So I just sit back and admire Leenysman's wonderful (and twisted!) brain, that produced such an entertaining, wonderful, devious and deviant tale.

Left me feeling good.

Unhesitatingly, 5 stars.

Paul in Oklahoma

What a great family dynamic. Good story. Thanks

Most masterful story ever. We would like to read another one like this one. Preferably interracial family would be nice. Mix families rules. Ciao for now.