Sweet Caroline

"What has 'shit for brains' done now?"

"He got a little rough with one of Rosie's girls and she died. Now normally that wouldn't cause any real concern, just another doped up whore succumbing to her chosen life, but before she died she identified the man who beat her to a pulp, it was your stupid ex-nephew-in-law Danny."

"So, what's the problem?"

"The cop she told is one of the straightest cops in my station and he agonised over this for a couple of days before he filed his report, after first discussing it with me. Danny's boss basically told me to go ahead and forward the report to Internal Affairs because he's sick to death of having to clean up the mess all the time. So you see my problem, we can't sweep this under the carpet and if and when the media gets a hold of this they will have a field day. All cops will be corrupt in their eyes and that isn't the case."

"I see the problem, I will have a talk to him and let him know what's what, we can't have him fucking up what has been a good working relationship between us, can we?"

"No we can't. I'll leave this in your capable hands."

Bernie called Danny and invited him to a meeting. "Listen you stupid idiot, it was bad enough that you roughed up my niece but to do it to a working girl who relies on her looks to earn a crust, that's just plain stupid, and to top it all off she goes and dies."

"So what's the problem, dead whores can't tell anyone." Danny was a cocky little bastard who strutted around as if he owned the world.

"That's the problem, she did tell someone and now the matter's been referred to Police Internal Affairs and they're investigating it."

"So we eliminate the source of the information and the problem just goes away."

"It's not that easy stupid, too many people know about it now for us to 'fix'."

"Leave it to me, I'll make the problem go away."

"You don't do anything do you hear? You've done more than enough already, if I hear of you doing something stupid I'll take care of you myself. We get the best lawyer money can buy to act for you at the hearing and you let him do the talking, just sit there and shut up, are you getting this?"

"Sure, I just sit there looking stupid." He was beginning to get the point that he was in deep shit.

"That's something that should come easy to you."

I didn't realise just how prophetic Rosie's warning had been until later, much later. I never made it home to Caroline before she left work and for once I am glad of that. I was running late and heading home when my car was hit on the driver's door by a large truck. It was a sign-posted intersection where vehicles entering from the side road had to stop and only proceed when it was safe to do so. The driver ignored this.

I was unaware of the drama that this caused and it was many months before I was able to comprehend just how lucky I was. A lot happened during this time while I was out of it in a coma and I only heard about it much later. It appears that the impact of the collision wasn't all that I suffered, all that I can say is that I am indebted to Caroline. She was on duty in the A&E when I was wheeled in but she was busy elsewhere. As I was wheeled into triage the ambulance officer was reciting the vital details: "Male Caucasian, about thirty years old, MVA, multiple skull fractures and severe bruising to the brain, vital signs not good, he has broken ribs and a punctured lung, he has lost a lot of blood and needed to be resuscitated. Good luck with this one."

The doctor in triage took one look at me and began to yell orders: "Treatment room one immediately, I want him hooked up to all monitors and as soon as you can get a drip into his arm I want auto-feed morphine." He turned to the nurse who had been filling out the admission forms. "Forget that, get on the phone and get Callie down here pronto."

As soon as she saw me Caroline was outside her body. "As soon as he's hooked up to the drip and monitors I want him in X-ray as a priority, I don't care who's in the queue, he is the next patient." Within minutes the orderly was pushing me towards X-ray, but he wasn't going fast enough for Caroline. "Look will you leave this to me, go back to watching the paint dry or whatever it is that you do." She pushed him aside and ran, pushing me towards the X-ray department. Forewarned the door was being held open and within minutes she stood looking at the film on the light-box. "Fuck!"

"What's the matter?" The technician asked and then she followed where Caroline's finger was pointing and saw what it was had caused her to uncharacteristically swear. "Fuck! Is that what I think it is?"

"He's been shot in the head. Can you contact the theatres and get one prepped for immediate surgery." She grabbed one of the other phones on the desk and dialled a number. "Hi Tim, are you free for a very urgent and very important job? It's Morgan, he was brought in supposedly badly injured in a motor vehicle accident but when I examined him I found a bullet lodged in his brain, I need your skill and expertise on this one. We're on our way up now, I'll scrub and assist. "

Meanwhile the orderly had wandered back to the emergency room and was complaining about Caroline and her heavy handed attitude. "Listen mate, the person on that trolley is her husband and she must have noticed something that we didn't. She never does anything without reason and if it was that urgent I don't blame her for telling you to piss off and leave it to her."

It was a painstaking and delicate operation and when the bullet was eventually removed Caroline wrapped it in a surgical dressing and slipped it into her pocket. "Aren't you going to the police with that?"

"No, I'm on good terms with their Forensic Pathologist and I want to see if he can find out which gun did this, I think I know who did it and why, I just want enough evidence before I take it further and crucify the bastard."

I was repaired as well as they could, given the extent of my injuries, and wheeled into Intensive Care where I was to remain for the next five weeks, four of which I was in a coma. Caroline had a bunk bed installed and when she wasn't on duty she was either sleeping on that bed or seated by my side whispering encouragement and love into my uncomprehending ear.

Meanwhile in the real world things were beginning to move. The Pathologist accessed the police ballistics database and came up with a real interesting outcome. I had been shot with a gun that was supposedly under lock and key in the police evidence locker. When the gun in there was taken out and tested it did not match the bullet, someone had switched the confiscated gun for an identical make and model, what was even more surprising was that it had an identical serial number, probably to discredit the police ballistic evidence in an upcoming murder trial.

Caroline took this information with her when she went to see my boss. "Morgan is in a very serious condition and we will just have to wait to see if he comes out of the coma before we can ascertain how much damage has been caused. In the meantime there is a very bad rat in your ranks and I'm sure that you know who it is. The accident was to disguise the fact that he was shot in the head although how he thought that he could get away it is anyone's guess because as soon as the bullet was discovered the murder attempt would be revealed and investigated."

"I'm sure that he thought that with both the victim and Morgan dead there would be no evidence against him and he would be home free, but then he's not the brightest bulb in the box. He did try to cover his tracks, the truck had been reported stolen from outside a builder's yard but the plates on it at the time of the so-called accident weren't those that belonged to it. It had one of those fridge magnet signs covering the building company sign so we didn't pick it up straight away, it was only after a hotel manager noticed it still in his car park at closing time that he called us and we recognised it, by that time we had no witnesses as to who had left it there. Crime scene witnesses told us that he wore a disguise designed to fit the part that he was playing, hi-vis jacket over black shorts, blunnies (Blunstone work boots) and a baseball cap with 'CAT' on it, oh and he had a mullet (80's hairstyle, shortish on top and long back and sides) probably a wig, and mirrored sunnies, none of the few witnesses could give us a clear description. He dumped the truck outside a pub and was seen going in but no-one noticed him going out. Having said that it will be a long time before any of this will get to trial, especially if Morgan has to give evidence, that's providing of course that he will be able to testify."

"I'm trying to keep a positive mind-set on this, it's very hard for me seeing him there like that, not recognising me, I need all the positive support that I can get."

"Don't let my words tell you that you don't have my support because you have it one hundred percent. Morgan is worth ten of the other guy to this police force and we will give him all the support that he needs, don't worry about the costs involved in his treatment that will be covered by the department, I'll make sure of that. As for the other guy, I think that a little lateral action might prove interesting."

"What do you mean lateral action?"

"I won't tell you because it's best that you don't know, let's just say that there is more than one way to skin a cat, or in this case, a rat."

A phone call to the right person and an assurance was given that the matter would be dealt with 'in house'.

My last week in intensive care I might just as well have remained in a coma, I was awake in name only. My eyes were open but there was no-one home and I was able to breathe unaided but I didn't recognise where I was and who this beautiful woman was that was at my side kissing me and whispering stuff to me. "Please Darling get back into your body, I need your spiritual and physical bodies to work together so that you can get better." Whatever that meant I had no idea but she kept saying it to me and kissing me and trying hard not to cry.

I was transferred into a private room in the critical care section of the hospital. This had its own facilities and a second bed that Caroline used to catch up on her sleep in between her professional and personal duties. I had been there for over a week before my eyes that had been open but sightless moved and focussed on her. You would have thought by her reaction that I had won the lottery or something. "Oh Darling, you're awake, I've been so worried about you." She burst into tears and hugged me for what seemed like days before pushing the call button. When the nurse came she told her to fetch someone called Tim.

In minutes the someone called Tim arrived and began a series of brain function tests and the more that he tested the more concerned he became. "It doesn't look good Callie, It's almost as if he's not trying, (what would you know, you're not here wishing your body to respond to the messages from what's left of your brain and having to endure it not happening) there's little reaction to any of the stimuli, (You keep sticking that fucking needle into me and one day soon you will see a reaction) all that I can suggest is to give it time, I know that he'll pull through, he loves you too much to give up (at last you got something right, even though you hope I don't)."

"Thanks mate, I'm not about to give up on him, ever."

After the someone called Tim left she came back to my bedside. "Morgan, can you hear me?"

I wanted to tell her that I could but my mouth just wasn't co-operating with the part of my brain that was telling it what to do. I was aware of her, I could see her, I could smell her but I couldn't tell her that I loved her because the part of my brain that controlled all of that just wasn't working as it should.

Caroline stood up and opened her white coat and then she undid the waist-band of the skirt that she was wearing and it slipped to the floor. She looked pretty much as I remembered her but I told myself that she looked to have stacked on just a little weight in however long I'd been off with the fairies. She took my hand and placed it on her stomach. "Darling you just have to get better, it's not just for me, there, did you feel it? There's a little Morgan inside me and he wants you to be the father that I know that you can be."

The small kicking from her stomach was like the on switch of a computer, suddenly what had up until then been vague meandering thought patterns were brought into sharp focus, I was remembering things from my past and foremost among these was Caroline and my love for her. I willed my mouth to obey my brain, even just for a moment. My lips were moving but nothing was coming out, (come on mouth, work with me on this). Caroline stopped and placed her ear close to my mouth. "What are you trying to say?"

In not much more than a whisper the words began to form and the words had music, "Hand touching hand, reaching out touching me, touching you, Sweet Caroline. . ." We must have looked a sight, me on my back on the bed and she, her skirt on the floor and her coat that came to just below her waist opened on top of me, a passer-by could be forgiven in thinking that there was something unseemly happening in my bed, She was blubbering, telling me over and over again just how happy she was and just how much she loved me. Something inside of me told me that I was the luckiest half-alive bastard in the world and that something was also telling me that I had to work my arse off to fully recover because if I didn't I would be missing out on the greatest opportunity a man could be given, ever.

It was a long hard recovery, there were brain function exercises and trips to the hydrotherapy pool where I was first encouraged to float on my back and kick my legs and then to stand and try to walk, that wasn't easy but I got better day by day. All the time the ever expanding Caroline was with me whenever she wasn't on duty, supporting me, encouraging me and it was she who came up with the idea of having music playing all the time. I love classical music and much of what was on the MP3 player was classical except for one album, Hot August Night. One day I might be able to sing along.

One day, after I had been in this existence for several months,(you couldn't call it a life, could you?) she didn't come to see me, it was the worst day of my life not having her beautiful pregnant body beside me and listening to her words of encouragement, and my condition was the worse for her absence. It was worse the next day but the third day she came into my room with a bundle in her arms. She placed it on the bed beside me and I heard a sort of soft whimper coming from it. "Darling, I want you to say hello to Morgana Owen, your beautiful daughter."

Tears forced their way past my clenched eyelids, I didn't want to cry, but then I did. I was happy and sad at the same time. Happy to see our child, but sad that, because my arms were not yet strong enough, I couldn't hold her. "Isn't she the most beautiful baby that you've ever seen?"

My brain decided about then that it was time to let my mouth work. "Not Morgana, she's Caroline like you." Now there were two of us crying and both for the same reason, we were happy, me because of our daughter and Caroline because I had said something coherent for the first time in months.

My condition improved exponentially from that moment, it was as if the brain cells had held a general meeting and decided that those of them that had been doing not a lot all of these years should spring into action and, after a period of training, take over the functions lost by my injuries. I needed to be a father for this child not some lump of meat forever getting in the way.

I also needed something else, I needed some sort of closure but was having problems working out what it was until in the middle of the night when I was jolted from a promising dream, or was it a memory, involving a fit me making love to Caroline, by the vision of my last moments of awareness before all of this pain. I was hovering in a semi-conscious state after my car had been hit by a truck, trying to sort out what parts of me were injured when the truck driver appeared at my window, I thought that he had come to drag me out but then I saw the gun in his hand, Danny's hand, and I ducked as he fired. I don't remember what happened after that until I sort of woke in hospital.

The jolt must have set off alarms because the next thing I knew was that there were people gathered around me reading monitors and shining torches into my eyes and sticking that fucking needle into my foot. The reaction that my brain had been saving up for months kicked in and I kicked out, sending the needle flying out of the doctor's hand and across the room. "Wow, what brought that on. I think we should get hold of Callie, she should be here for this."

Not long after this Caroline rushed through the door and handed the sleeping Caroline to one of the nurses. "Fill me in, what's happened?"

"About half an hour ago the brain monitor went ballistic, it was off the chart for about a minute and then it slowly went back to normal. We ran all of the obvious tests and when I poked the needle into his foot he kicked it out of my hand. It would seem as if he's returning to life as we know it."

She bent over and her face was in front of mine. "Morgan, Darling, can you hear me?"

"Hi sweet Caroline, I've been hearing you forever but because I've been outside my body haven't been able to respond all that well." She was about to say something but I held up my hand. "Me first, I've wanted to say this to you for months now. Caroline, I love you so much." Whatever it was that she was going to say was forgotten in a flurry of kisses and almost strangulation and a face leaking with her tears of joy. "I was having a most realistic dream about you and me in bed making passionate love." I whispered into her ear.

"I know," she interrupted. "The number of nights I have woken because I could feel you inside me and it was as if you were really there with me, it was just as I remembered our love-making, the most exquisite experience, it was more than a dream it was you speaking to me telling me that you loved me. But tonight was different, tonight just as I was about to orgasm I got the most horrible vision. I knew something was wrong and I was already dressed and about to walk out the door when I got the call to come in. What was it?"

"I was having another of my dreams and just as we got to the climactic moment this nightmare kicked in and now I know what happened and why I'm here. I was shot wasn't I?"

"Yes, we very nearly lost you several times."

"I knew you wouldn't have let me go without a fight and it mightn't have looked like it but I was fighting along with you."

"When was it that you had this dream?"

"I don't know the exact time but it would just before the sensors went off."

She looked at the nurse for confirmation of the time. "I was having the same dream, we were in Byron and you and I were making love. It was a special occasion for us because I'm pretty sure that this was when Caroline was conceived, it was the right time of the month and we had been discussing the possibility of starting a family and I guess we were both a little clucky. We wanted this and we got it, and now it seems as if I've got you back."

"You never lost me. It took a while for my brain to come to terms with the situation and decide that life was important, almost as important as me getting better. There were times when I was close to giving up and you would come in and I'd get the strength to move on. Do you remember the day that you came in and placed my hand on your belly and I got kicked?"