All Comments on 'Swing Club Ch. 02'

... what your lives will be like, 10 years from now; bodies beginning to tire, rundown, spread and wrinkle; libidos dissipating; erections and lubrication harder and harder to achieve; the ennui of familiarity breeding contempt; more likely than not to sit in the darkness of the swing club alone, everyone's lust having directed to younger, firmer, tighter, more nubile bodies. How empty will your lives and relationship feel, after having wasted years of your life in simply chasing immediate pleasures of the flesh; pleasures that no longer satisfy as well or as often or as deeply or be as available as in the now-distant past...

Sadly pathetic existence and wasted lives, in my view.

I think both stories are a good start. There are some things that detract and make them difficult to read. English is a bitch of a language to learn much less write. Your spelling errors are minor. Getting verbs to agree is a larger problem. A single female adult is a woman. Several are women. English readers will look to words for clues. So if you write:” The women sat on his cock.” That means more than one person was sitting on one cock. Very painful for the man. If it’s a single man and a single female, you can say:” The man and woman held each other closely.” For a mixed group, male and female, the men and women paired up for the next activity.” I really hope this makes sense and helps you learn.