All Comments on 'Swinging Twins'

but the ending...why?

I'm absolutely howling, fuck mate, that wasn't porn, that was a love story, with a tragic tragic fucking ending. Sure wasn't incest either. That tale doesn't belong anywhere on literotica.com, it belongs in a hard copy book, with many more chapters. A compliment? I'm not sure, but....very deep, meaningful.......and sad. A sad tragic love story. I gave you 5, because you're one hell of a writer. I think you can go further, earn a living from your writing, maybe that's why I gave you 5??

The writing for this story is excellent, and paints a visual true life story. If this is as close to true as I think, my condolences.

It is like you just ran out of inspiration at the end, and went "well, let's just finish this up as quick as we can.."

The story doesn't belong in the incest section, but you wanted more views and calling it swinging twins certainly gets more clicks than "my sister-in-law dies at the end because I wrote myself into a corner". You obviously have a creative mind, however this story should have ended with them in bed, or with Dave and Maureen coming over to join in. Cut off from the phone call onward, and it works. Just too jarring of an ending.

. What a tragic end, I hope this was not part of the true story. Either way well done.

Do an alternate ending

From the comments you should realize your writing was appreciated. The ending wasn't, probably should take a cue from that.

I was very disappointed with Maureens death at the end of the story. I understand some stories benefit from the death of a character but it ruined it for me in this case. Loved the story right up until that point though.

........... to a Great story. You screwed it up.

Come on, this is Literotica.

You got your "5," but I'll never read another of your writings without going to the end to see if you ruin it.

The story was so awesome, the sex parts were arousing and some of the characters were cool. It would have been the perfect story until that terrible ending ruined it. That was awful.

If this is a true story then condolences. My grandmother had a twin sister die when she was 61 and she died a month later. Stopped eating because of the depression. Great story.

People, sometimes life sucks, the end.

One of the best stories I've read on here. But the ending ruined it. I'll still give it 5 stars

I'd like to thank everyone, both members and "Anonymous", who took the time to leave a comment. Your thoughts, and the time you took to express them, are greatly appreciated.

I promise that my future stories will be far more uplifting and will NOT end in tragedy - but this story had to be told. Debbie didn't want to complete this project, but reliving those experiences - and telling them here (in a highly fictionalized manner) has been something of a catharsis for her, as well as for "Dave" (not his real name) - who contributed to it.

@handyman200 : Thanks - I agree, life sucks - and I assure you and @worshipper622 that I won't write any more sad tales.

@ChalkyCanberra1970ACT : Many thanks for your comments. I published two (non-erotic) novels in mainstream media a bit over 2 decades ago. They were reasonably well received, but it wasn't enough to make a living. As Debbie and I approach retirement age, I'd like to try writing in the mainstream media again as a sort of "semi-retirement" activity. (Hey - a man can dream, right?)

@TricksterZero, @InTheDetail, and @Klitomatic - thanks for your comments, and sorry that you all disliked the end. I did too. My good news is that I have no other tragedies to relate.

--Neil.

That was beautiful and enthralling... Trusting that the three of you remain welll

to kill off Maureen? Totally out of the blue, just a random act of authorial violence. Maybe you couldn’t figure out how to end it, didn’t want the sisters to swap hubbies, thought some more bad stuff should come to May, who knows. Apart from this, great yarn. But killing her off so not cool.

excellent writing. it doesn't matter where it belongs on this site - its a really terrific work. you're a great writer. i know its been a while since you published on this site, but i hope you plan on contributing more. GREAT STUFF! loved/hated the end.

... until the end! I really wish it hadn’t happened! It was definitely hot and a great read until then!

I liked the journey of discovery that Neil and Debbie took. How it took the sex club to help them find what each other wanted, but in the end taking from them a loved one. The club would never be the same for them again. I was honestly going to give this one an average rating, but after some reflection gave it 4*s. The hot sex combined with the emotional turmoil made this a compelling read. Great story.

If you're looking for a story that will raise your blood pressure (in just the right place) and treat you like an intelligent human being, then this is it! You will remember this story for a long time.

What was the purpose of killing her off. Horrible life the probably a renewal of joy. Story was great until you killed her. What a waste

To those who have commented on ...why did I "kill Maureen":

Please see my introductory notes at the beginning of the story in which I stated: "Because of Deb's and my true-life experiences, this was a very difficult story to write and Debbie did not want any part of this project at first. You'll see why at the end."

Fact : My sister-in-law ("Maureen" isn't her real name) was - in real life - killed by a drink driver who ran a red light. I didn't "kill Maureen. I wrote what happened.

My brother-in-law ("Dave" isn't his real name) approved the writing and the final edit of the story before it was published.

Thanks - Neil And Deb (those are our real names).

I am thankful for the three of you sharing this. I can't even imagine the pain and anguish it causes to write it. To me, it was a very touching story that showed some of the deepest love I have read about. Thank you again.

Respectfully,

Caitiff

Five stars, cunt lapping sex manic Lanc’s UK. Sad end, could have been better.

Superb story, beautifully written.

Excelent! Period!

I lost count of the number of erections that I had as a result of this story. Best story I've read in a long, long time. It had all of my kinks and fetishes covered!

Sweet, caring, empathetic. A d HOT!

Congrats to a great story very well told.

Somehow I had expected to the two couples getting together as a joint process of healing.

One serious doubt: why could Deb not come on vaginal sex woth her husband, but no problem when swinging?

Still,all in all an excellent story! Please more!!